you either die or you die dude

Since there are so many, here are quotes for each of the main trios:

Anakin Skywalker:

Padme Amidala:

Obi Wan Kenobi:

Luke Skywalker:

Han Solo:

Leia Organa:

Rey:

Finn:

Poe Dameron:

[I.D: A Comic: Hunter, from The Clone Wars and The Bad Batch, stands above the viewer, framed by a blue sky and a passing cloud overhead. “What are you doing, exactly?” he asks. The next panel is emaciated Echo lying naked in the sun. His lower half is obscured by Hunter’s back. He replies with a smile “I’m getting my melanin back”]

Anyway I hope y’all enjoy this dumb thing. It’s the only shit i’ll accept as canon.

Bonus:

[I.D: A simple doodle. Hunter stands above echo still.

Hunter: You’re gonna burn.

Echo: What? Then what’s in your ammo pouches?

Fives: Oreos.

Echo: ...

Fives: Want some?

Anakin: *nudges R2D2 out of the way with his foot* excuse me, artoo

Chopper when Hera gives him a hug: I’ve never met you before in my life. You bastard. You fiend. Stop this at once. 

Century 2: ‘Yoda’s still going on about that? Tell him that Jedi don’t have sex lmao’

Century 3: ‘Yoda’s still going around telling people Jedi don’t have sex, no one has been able to convince him that it was just a joke, oh well what can you do’

Century 4: ‘Why is Yoda saying Jedi don’t have sex? I can’t find anything about that in any of the texts’

Century 5: ‘When Master Yoda says Jedi don’t have sex he must mean it’s a mystery meant to be contemplated, like the sound of one hand clapping’

Century 6: ‘The old saying that Jedi don’t have sex that Master Yoda taught us is just metaphorical, don’t take it too literally’

Century 7: ‘The rule about Jedi not having sex is ancient but it’s never really been enforced, only the most pious Jedi like Master Yoda follow it’

Century 8: ‘Jedi don’t have sex, that’s always been the rule, that’s what Master Yoda said and he’s been around forever’

Century 9: ‘Jedi not only don’t have sex but they must have no emotional attachments at all, Master Yoda has taught many generations of Jedi this central principle of the Jedi Order’

Of course, nobody ever really taught Yoda what sex even was, he asked another Jedi once what sex was and they said it was like when people sing a beautiful song of love to each other

So once, after an epic lightsaber duel when he had a Sith Lord cornered and disarmed and at his mercy, he said ‘Let you go, I will, but first! Tell me the sex song, must you!’ And the Sith Lord had no idea what he was talking about, and then Yoda lost his patience and screamed ‘Sing! SING YOU WILL OR DIE YOU WILL! Know the song I must! SO SEX I CAN HAVE! Nine hundred years old will I reach! Just once, the rules I can be allowed to break! HAVE SEX, BEFORE I DIE, MASTER YODA WILL!’

Boba Fett enjoying his favorite drink

trooper in the mess hall, shoveling beans into his mouth: damn. that tall headed guy we met, what was he called again? ki adi monday? wow i could really kick his ass right about now

Relaxed again, and still on the verge of sleep, Obi-Wan studied Maul. He was asleep on the floor, wedged against the wall opposite the bed Obi-Wan was on. No pillows or blankets, just his large outer robe balled up beneath his head.

Obi-Wan felt the familiar pang in his stomach, somewhere between pity and guilt. Much like when he had seen Maul suspended in the bacta tube, Obi-Wan was struck by how small Maul was. How fragile and human he looked, curled on the floor asleep and vulnerable. That sleeping on the ground like this, without a bed, must have been normal for him. That Maul had simply assumed his place was on the floor.

But these thoughts were jumbled, coming and going like dream fragments, mixed with memories of other people.

Half asleep, but determined to fix this, Obi-Wan felt blindly around him for something. His hands finally landing on a nearby pillow. Having found what he sought, Obi-Wan groggily took hold of the pillow, and threw it haphazardly across the room- vaguely in Maul’s direction.

With dream like logic, Obi-Wan’s mind felt satisfied that it had solved the problem, and quickly swept him back to sleep.

++ Obi-Wan half asleep throwing a pillow at Maul. Maul instantly waking up, about to kill a man…

…and then just whispering “what the fuck, Kenobi.” When he sees it’s a pillow and that Obi-Wan is a dead asleep.

Maul looking around not exactly sure what he is supposed to make of this situation. Picking up the pillow and looking at it with confusion. Finally, hesitantly, deciding that if it’s here he might as well use it. Falling back asleep hugging the pillow.