I Haven't Felt This Good In Years

I haven’t had time to get on my computer and it’s sad. If you want to RP and get an instant response, it’s best to get me on Discord. I have a multi fandom server. Feel free to join! We can also do something one on one!

“I drink to forget alcoholism.”

“This is the prime of my life. I’m young, hot, and full of crippling debt.”

“Dear [NAME], I’m having some trouble with doing the right thing and would like your advice.”

“During sex, I like to think about Mufasa’s death scene.”

“White people like all-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99.”

“I’ve had enough of your face.”

“Having problems with menstruation? Try shutting the fuck up!”

“The gypsies said my inner demons are how I’ll die.”

“I don’t need luck! I have edible underpants!”

“Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s daddy issues.”

“My superpower is being a dick to children.”

“Studies have shown tasteful sideboob is good for you.”

“Honey, mommy and daddy love you very much, but apparently mommy loves daddy’s credit card more than daddy.”

“When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50 foot statue to commemorate a tiny horse.”

“The class field trip was completely ruined by puberty.”

“Licking things to claim them as your own will always get you laid.”

“Hope is a slippery slope that leads to a disappointing birthday party.”

“Step one: almost give money to a homeless person. Step two: taksies-backsies. Step three: profit.”

“Me time never fails to liven up the party.”

“Why not spice up your sex life by bringing that thing that electrocute your abs into the bedroom?”

“Ever since the ‘incident’, every time I close my eyes, I still see your sad little naked body.”

“Women get turned on by tentacle porn.”

“Help! My son is farting and walking away!”

“I lost my virginity by pretending to care.”

“I learned the hard way that you can’t cheer up a grieving friend by giving a tumor a cutesy nickname.”

“Thanks to the sharing economy, I can now make money renting out my used panties.”

“Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children a can of whoop-ass.”

“Honey, I have a new roleplay I want to try tonight! You can be shutting the fuck up and I’ll be not having sex.”

“The next Happy Meal toy is pinkeye.”

“My mom freaked out when she looked at my internet history and saw ‘a-big-black-dick.com/a-bigger-blacker-dick.”

“Can it wait a bit? I’m in the middle of making poor life choices?”

“Remember the old days when you could just slap ‘SWAG’ on everything?”

“Are you going to leave me again?”

“Be quiet!” 

“Do you trust me?” 

“Don’t pretend that you cared about me.”

“Don’t you love me anymore?” 

“Foolish.”

“Forgive me, please.”

“Get out of my face.“ 

“Go away.” 

“How could I believe someone like you?” 

“How could you do this to me?”

“How was I supposed to know?” 

“Leave me alone already.” 

“I can’t let you go, not when you’re like this.” 

“I can’t trust you.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I haven’t been resting. I can’t sleep.“ 

“I just wanted to help you.” 

“I needed you and you weren’t there.”

“I said I was sorry.” 

“I thought we were friends.“ 

“I’m a nobody.” 

“It’s too late now.” 

“It was hard for me to say goodbye.”

“Maybe, I don’t need your help.”

“Please don’t go." 

“Please, stop it already.” 

“Stop lying.” 

“Stop pretending.”

“Stop trying to fix something that can’t be fixed.”

“Wasn’t I worth a goodbye?”

“We need to talk.”

“What more do you want from me?” 

“You don’t care anymore, huh?” 

“You liar!”