angel investigations.

♱  ――――         HE  FORGOT  JUST  HOW  COMFORTING  AND  WARM  HER  EMBRACES  USED  TO  BE.  it  brought  a  sense  of  calmness  that  would  always  wash  over  him  whenever  he  held  her  in  his  arms,  holding  her  close  and  feeling  her  heart  beat  against  his  own  still  chest  cavity.  he  had  missed  her  presence,  and  he  hoped,  that  this  time,  she  wasn't  planning  on  leaving   —   at  least  not  for  a  good  long  time.  his  hug  was  a  little  tighter  than  hers,  the  smile  brightening  his  features  never  wavered,  as  he  took  in  her  missed  scent.         ❛      it's  just  been   —   awhile.  i  just  didn't  think  i'd  ever  see  you  again   [   .  .  .  .   ]       ❜      he  responded,  pulling  back  to  look  at  her,  his  dark  eyes  matching  her  emerald  green  ones  in  glistening  hope.  he  shrugged  slightly  at  her  explanation,  accompanied  by  an  apology.  he  didn't  hold  any  ill  intent  towards  her  from  her  decision,  he  respected  it  because  he'd  always  respect  her  regardless  of  the  situation.  he  looked  down  and  then  back  at  her  again,         ❛      it's  okay,  i've  already  forgiven  you.  i'm  sure  you  had  your  reasons,  we  all  do      ❜      he  reassured  her,  a  half  smile  formed  on  his  lips.  he  wanted  to  make  sure  she  always  knew  that  he'd  never  be  angry  with  her   —   at  least,  not  stay  angry.

A  SOFT,  PINK  BLUSH  HEATED  ANGEL'S  CHEEKS  AT  HER  SUBTLE  COMPLIMENT,  A  GENTLE  CHUCKLE  UTTERED  UNDER  HIS  BREATH.  his  shoulders  roll  nonchalantly,        ❛      heh   —   thanks.  i  kinda  don't  age,  comes  with  the  whole  vampire  thing       ❜      he  joked,  grinning  at  her.  once  her  hands  reach  up  to  cup  his  face,  his  blush  became  a  lingering  effect  of  her  affection.  he  was  too  shy  to  touch  her  himself.  he  didn't  know  where  they  stood  in  terms  of  friendship  and,  even  before  she  had  left,  they  never  spoke  about  feelings  that  were  growing  between  them.  they  kept  it  platonic  and  he  didn't  particularly  mind  it.  he  just  didn't  want  to  cross  any  boundaries  he  wasn't  exactly  ready  to  tread.  he  shook  his  head  lightly,         ❛      no,  no.  i  just  got  back  so  i'm  free.  want  to  join  me  for  a  coffee      ?      ❜      he  asked  with  raised  eyebrows.

Ever since she'd lost her job - the only thing she had left that meant something - Kate had been living without purpose. After being given a second chance at life, she vowed to find the purpose she was missing. That search had led her to Caritas, a karaoke bar that welcomed all walks of life. Lingering by the entrance, Kate finally mustered the courage to head down the stairs when the censors went off. Good job, Lockley, very subtle. Wishing the floor would open up and swallow her, Kate clenched her jaw when the bouncer blocked her entrance. Before she had a chance to flee, a green-skinned demon, with a warm voice and bright smile, intervened.

♱  ――――          LORNE  NOTICED  RIGHT  AWAY  WHEN  THE  BLONDE  WOMAN  PEERED  OVER  HIS  SHOULDER  AND  TOOK  A  SCAN  OF  HIS  CLUB.  something  tells  him  that  she's  not  exactly  used  to  the  demon  variety,  and  he  hopes  he  can  ease  any  concerns  that  may  have  been  frightening  her.  the  green  demon  takes  the  weapon,  barely  holding  it  with  a  loose  grip  of  his  fingers,  as  he's  always  been  uncomfortable  with  firearms   —   weapons  in  general,  really.  he  chuckled  nervously  and  hands  it  to  his  trusty  bouncer,         ❛      heh   —   we'll  just  give  it  to  steve  for  safe  keepin',  huh     ?     you'll  get  it  right  back  as  soon  as  your  little  tush  walks  outta  here,  promise       ❜     he  reassured  her,  dusting  his  hands  off  and  then  opens  his  arm  to  gesture  to  his  club,  proud  of  what  he's  built  and  created  as  a  community.  demons  were  merrily  drinking  and  laughing,  others  sang  atop  the  stage,  and  even  some  vampires  were  being  friendly  towards  a  kind  that  wasn't  their  own.  it  was  something  you  would  rarely,  if  ever,  see  outside  of  caritas.  he  grins  widely,  pride  glistening  in  his  red  hues,        ❛      well,  you  made  one  hell  of  an  entrance,  sweetie.  a  cop,  in  this  joint     ?     woo,  sit  me  down  with  a  typewriter  because  i  think  i  got  an  idea  for  a  bestseller        ❜      he  joked  with  her,  laughing.        ❛      come  on,  i'll  get  you  a  sea  breeze,  on  the  house.       ❜

HE  LEADS  THE  EX-POLICE  OFFICER  OVER  TO  THE  BAR  AND  PULLS  OUT  A  STOOL  FOR  HER  TO  REST  UPON.  he  pats  the  cushion  and  takes  a  seat  himself  next  to  her,  facing  her  direction  as  he  waves  at  his  favorite  bartender,  ordering  the  both  of  them  his  favorite  sea  breeze.  he  chuckles  and  looks  at  her,  wincing  slightly  from  the  dreary  energy  she's  been  carrying  ever  since  she  came  to  his  club.  he  looks  back  at  the  bartender,         ❛      actually,  make  it  a  double  for  my  friend  here.  she's  gonna  need  it        ❜      he  told  him.  he  gives  her  a  friendly  smile  before  speaking,         ❛      let's  start  with  the  basics,  doll  face,  'cause  i'm  just  itchin'  to  know  your  story.  what  brings  you  to  caritas     ?        ❜

♱  ――――         HARMONY  WANTED  TO  LAUGH   —   AT  FIRST.  that  is,  until  the  wolf  had  snapped  its  canines  at  her,  causing  her  to  stumble  back  onto  her  feet  frightfully  and  grab  the  edge  of  the  counter  to  keep  herself  from  falling  entirely.  her  chest  was  rising  and  falling,  dramatically  stunned  by  the  man's  wordless  threat.  she  scoffed  loudly  at  him,        ❛      geez,  rude  much     ?!     i  get  it,  you  didn't  have  to  go  all  mutt  mode  on  me,  okay     ?      i  can  take  a  hint,  you  know       ❜      she  shot  back  at  him,  folding  her  arms  over  her  chest  and  pouting,  rolling  her  eyes.  she  might  have  taken  that  a  little  too  personally.         ❛      listen,  lassie,  you  keep  your  teeth  to  yourself  and  i'll  do  the  same       ❜     she  promised  in  her  own  harmony-esque  way.  she  looked  back  at  the  screen  and  watched  him  work,  haven't  a  clue  what  he  was  doing  or  really  even  saying.  she  sighed  softly,        ❛      were  we  supposed  to  learn  this  in  school  or  something      ?      because  i  have  no  idea  what  you're  saying  and  it's  giving  me  a  headache.  i'm  hungry.       ❜

【❖】 ―――― FAITH IS NEVER SPEACHLESS BUT IN THIS VERY MOMENT SHE IS EXACTLY THAT. If she hadn't been looking directly at Angel's mouth, she would have thought she misheard him in countless ways. It wasn't like him to stumble over his words like that with her. He was always straightforward and concise. When you spend your whole life hearing negative things about yourself, it becomes easier to believe the bad rather than the good, and that's why it's such a struggle for her. Deep down, she felt somewhat cursed herself because everyone she had ever known had turned their backs on her when she was all but screaming for help. This didn't exactly make her inclined to trust people. Angel was the one exceptional person in her difficult life, the one shining star that consistently pulled her back time and time again. Angel's presence in her life was like a lifeline, giving her the strength to keep going even when everything seemed bleak. In so many ways she and Angel we cut from the same cloth. But did Angel really deserve the heavy baggage that came along with her? All she knows is that right at this moment she doesn't know how to feel or what to think.

SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE LOVED OR CARED FOR AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES THIS MOMENT SO EXTREMELY HARD FOR HER. From the depths of her memory, she had always yearned for Angel. Her desire to ruin Buffy's life back then had nothing to do with it. She understood that it was an unattainable fantasy, yet she couldn't help but ponder it repeatedly. Sometimes, she wondered if she had acted differently or changed herself slightly, maybe she would have caught his attention. However, it was evident that being herself was sufficient. ❝ Please... ❞ she interrupts him abruptly. ❝ Don't leave. ❞ Despite the confusion overwhelming her, she couldn't bear the idea of him departing, especially after his recent confession. Faith wasn't foolish; she knew this situation was akin to playing with fire. If Angel truly had those feelings for her, even a small mistake could result in him losing his soul, and everyone would blame her for it. It would just give them another reason to hate her. She desires to be selfish and keep this one genuine thing for herself, but isn't that what the old Faith excelled at... being selfish? ❝ Having those feelings for me, you understand the danger involved. How can I be selfish and risk turning you into the very thing you despise? ❞ Her eyes pleaded with him, begging for an answer that would make everything alright. How much crueler could the world be to finally grant her with the one thing she always wanted — to know that she could have him but in the same knowing she could never fully have him.

♱  ――――        FAITH  AND  ANGEL'S  HISTORY  WAS  COMPLICATED  AT  BEST.  they've  shared  countless  intimate  moments  that  brought  them  closer  to  one  another,  opening  their  eyes  to  see  that  they  were  more  alike  than  they'd  like  to  admit.  he's  tried  in  the  past  to  steer  her  on  the  right  path;  the  path  of  redemption  and  true  change.  he  wanted  to  see  her  grow  into  the  person  he  knew  she  could  be.  he  didn't  ever  want  to  see  her  regress  back  into  the  immoral  person  she  once  was.  he  believed  in  her  when  no  one  else  would,  and  he  hoped  that  was  enough  for  her.  he  shook  his  head,        ❛      i'm  not  leaving  you,  faith,  i  couldn't  do  that       ❜      he  replied,  bringing  his  hand  up  to  tuck  her  dark  hair  behind  her  ear,  finding  it  difficult  to  smile  at  this  moment.  he  wished  he  could,  but  he  felt  his  heart  sinking  to  the  bottom  of  his  feet  for  her.  he  knew  the  kind  of  pain  she  was  suffering,  and  that  alone  was  enough  to  make  him  feel  responsible  in  helping  her  find  her  true  self.  he  sighed  softly,        ❛      i'm  not  going  to  leave  you  because  i  know  what  you're  going  through,  faith.  we  can  get  through  this  together.  you  just  need  to  let  me  in.  once  you  do  that,  you'll  be  able  to  see  things  clearer      ❜     he  told  her,  his  eyes  glistening  with  sorrow.  it  was  clear  that  he  only  wanted  the  best  for  her;  leaving  her  was  the  last  thing  he'd  ever  do.

HIS  HAND  DROPS  BACK  DOWN  TO  HIS  SIDE  AT  HER  NEXT  WORDS,  MAKING  HIM  THINK  ABOUT  THEM  CAREFULLY.        ❛     i  know  that,  faith.  i'm  not   —   that's  not  what  this  is  about       ❜     he  started,  backing  away  a  few  steps  to  create  distance  between  them  as  he  pondered  over  his  thoughts  and  feelings.  he  didn't  want  to  do  anything  that  would  risk  bringing  angelus  back  to  the  surface.  he  would  never  want  to  lose  his  soul.  losing  his  soul  involved  experiencing  a  true  moment  of  happiness  and  after  all  these  years,  after  what  happened  with  buffy,  he  knew  how  to  control  himself  if  things  were  to  get  out  of  hand.  he  looked  down  then  back  up,        ❛      i'm  not  trying  to  do  anything  like  that  with  you.  i  just  meant   —      ❜     he  continued,  stepping  back  closer  to  her  and  took  her  hands  in  his,  squeezing  them  and  staring  intensely  in  her  eyes,        ❛      i  just  want  to  be  close  to  you.       ❜

It was fucking terrifying.

Sighing and shrugging in answer, Cordelia finally reached out first, taking one of Angel's hands between her own and drawing it back into her space. "I don't know," she murmured, thumb running along the back of his hand. Wasn't it pathetic that for all her bravado, this was the closest she could come to the truth? Part of Cordelia wanted to break already, to crack her heart open and bare it for him to see, but she just - couldn't.

Didn't know how to, any more. If she ever really did to begin with.

♱  ――――        ANGEL  COULDN'T  BEGIN  TO  IMAGINE  HOW  SHE  WAS  FEELING  AFTER  WHAT  HAPPENED.  what  wolfram  and  hart  did  to  her  had  its  own  effects  that  continue  to  hurt  her  in  the  aftermath  and  for  that,  all  angel  wanted  was  to  give  them  what  they  deserved;  endless  pain  and  suffering.  that  wasn't  as  important  as  what  he  was  attending  to  right  now.  cordelia  was  more  important  than  anything;  she  needed  his  comforting,  his  reassurance.  all  things  he  knew  he  could  provide  for  her  at  this  moment.  vengeance  will  come  with  time   —   when  he  was  ready  to  let  it  reign  upon  them.  he  chuckled  slightly  at  her  words,        ❛       who  knew     ?       ❜     he  joked  back,  offering  her  a  small  smile  when  he  saw  hers  failed  to  reach  her  eyes.  he  missed  seeing  her  laugh  and  smile  and  make  fun  of  him.  he  just  wanted  to  see  her  better,  to  see  her  find  that  spark  within  her  again. 

HE  LOOKED  DOWN  AT  THEIR  HANDS  ONCE  HER  TOUCH  WARMED  HIS  COLD  SKIN.  he  stared  as  he  took  in  her  scent,  her  touch,  feeling  so  much  at  ease  when  they  made  contact.  he  just  hoped  she  felt  some  semblance  of  comfort  from  this.  he  squeezed  her  hand  back,  placing  his  other  on  top  of  her  own  to  caress  her  skin.         ❛      it's  okay,  you  don't  have  to  know   —   not  yet.  you  can  take  your  time,  cor       ❜     he  replied,  scooting  a  little  closer.  seeing  her  eyes  fall  in  sorrow  made  him  feel  helpless.  what  could  he  do  to  help  her  find  herself  again?  the  visions  she's  forced  to  endure,  the  nightly  terrors  she's  tormented  with;  it  was  all  bringing  her  down  with  no  light  at  the  end  of  the  tunnel.  all  he  knew  that  could  help  her  was  save  as  many  of  these  unfortunate  souls  she  was  burdened  to  feel,  to  know.  he  would  do  anything  to  take  this  weight  off  of  her  chest.  he  shook  his  head,           ❛      i  won't,  i'm  right  here.  i'm  not  going  to  go  anywhere,  i  promise        ❜     he  whispered  to  her,  gracing  his  arm  across  her  shoulders  to  bring  her  close.  he  rests  his  chin  atop  her  head  as  he  embraced  her  from  the  side,  closing  his  eyes  shut  as  he  felt  himself  absorb  the  pain  she's  been  carrying  around.  he  sighed  softly,        ❛     you're  not  alone,  cordy.  i  know  it  may  seem  like  things  aren't  going  to  get  better  but  they  will.  all  we  can  do  is  help  as  much  as  we  can  and  we  won't  give  up.  you're  strong,  cordelia,  stronger  than  anyone  i've  ever  known   —     ❜     he  told  her.

When at last Darla turned to face her, Buffy was struck by the undeniable emotion fighting to be free. She saw the clash of sorrow and anger, the grief for what little time Darla had left, knowing that if she wanted to live, first she had to die. Buffy would never forget it, the defiance of fate that Darla showed to her that night: her determination to survive no matter the cost. In some strange way, Buffy understood. How many times had she turned away help when she needed it, even from those closest to her? Darla didn’t have a circle of friends she could rely on to help her see sense when she was lashing out from fear. Darla didn’t have anyone. Well now she did. She may not have known or accepted it yet, but now she had Buffy. “It’s not fair that this is happening to you, and I’m sorry that you’re hurting, I really am, but this isn’t about what I want or how I feel, this is about you.” It wasn’t pity in her expression, when she searched the ex-vampire’s eyes, it was determination, not so different from Darla’s own. Buffy wanted - needed her to see that.

♱  ――――        FAIRNESS,  A  WORD  THAT  DARLA  WAS  NOT  ACQUAINTED  WITH  WELL.  in  all  her  four  hundred  years  of  living,  she  never  granted  the  mercy  of  being  fair  to  her  many  countless  victims,  so  why  would  life  give  her  that  privilege  now?  a  sarcastic  chuckle  emits  from  darla's  lips,        ❛      fair     ?     nothing  in  this  life  is  fair,  buffy.  you,  of  all  people,  should  know  this.  i  know  i  do       ❜     she  replied,  finding  it  hard  to  look  away  from  the  slayer's  eyes.  she  could  see  that  look  in  her  eyes;  the  determination  to  pull  off  something  that  may  never  come  to  pass.  buffy  was  being  naive  and  optimistic,  but  darla  knew  everything  she  wanted  to  do  to  save  her  life  wouldn't  matter  in  the  end.  the  only  way  to  survive  this  impending  death  that  loomed  over  her  head  was  to  meet  death's  fate  and  be  brought  back  into  a  creature  that  she  had  been  so  accustomed  to  her  whole  life.  she  wanted  buffy  to  give  up  on  her  because  darla  had  already  given  up  on  herself.  she  deserved  this  rescue.  she  just  wanted  all  of  this  to  end.         ❛      no,  this  has  to  be  about  you,  slayer.  you  and  your  incessant  need  to  play  the  martyr,  to  help  the  helpless.  this  can't  be  about  me  because  then   —        ❜     she  looked  off  to  the  side,  taking  in  a  deep,  sharp  breath  before  exhaling  harshly  through  her  nose.         ❛      this  just  isn't  about  me,  buffy.       ❜

DARLA  LOOKED  DOWN  AT  HER  FEET  AT  BUFFY'S  HARSH  WORDS,  FEELING  HER  HEART  SKIP  A  BEAT.  a  part  of  her  knew  buffy  was  right.  this  pesky  soul  she's  been  carting  around  has  changed  the  way  she  looks  at  the  world.  she  doesn't  have  the  instincts  of  a  gruesome,  ruthless  killer  that  she  once  held.  now  she  wondered  if  she  truly  wanted  to  be  that  monster  again.  all  she  knew  for  certain  was  that  she  didn't  want  to  die;  she  wanted  to  live.  she  wanted  to  stay  alive.  she  spoke  while  still  peering  down  at  her  feet,        ❛      i  don't  want  to  die.  that's  what  i  want.  the  way  that  i  get  that   —   it  doesn't  matter      ❜     she  responded,  looking  back  up  and  finding  that  eye  contact  with  buffy  once  again,  staring  intently.  she  sighed  deeply,        ❛      you  won't  be  able  to,  you  know,  find  it.  there  is  no  other  way  but  death       ❜     she  starts,  rolling  her  eyes,        ❛      but,  since  i  have  nothing  better  to  do  and  could  spare  a  few  days  to  watch  you  fail,  fine.  we'll  have  it  your  way,  slayer   [   .  .  .  .   ]       ❜     she  finished,  looking  around  briefly.  she  folds  her  arms  over  her  chest,        ❛      well,  supergirl,  where  are  we  going  then     ?      ❜