Got Mo?

Yeah, I watch a lot of porn. I dont have a partner and the people who give me time of day are not sexually or mentally stimulating enough to partner with. I’ve been single for pretty much my whole life, and I cant seem to dig my way out and grow in that aspect of my life. I know one thing for sure. My porn habits are boring me. Im just fucking depressed and need a dopamine release.

I’ve decided to pick up two full time jobs. That way I dont just sit at home, dick in hand, wasting away for any extended period of time. I think Im meant to work, and only that sadly.

Why dont you go out to bars and meet people? Im sober and my ex made me feel like some sort of disgusting monster when I drank, so now when I do drink, I want to unalive myself. Why dont you volunteer? Im the person who these volunteers want to help as I am a poor artist. Why not coffee shops? I work at TWO coffee shops. Pick up a hobby? Im a musician, actor, stuntman, photographer, gamer, that plays multiple sports. Why not travel? Again, too poor. Try a class? Again, too poor and I cant decide on what thing to do as Ive done so many already. Dont go in thinking you’ll meet women! I dont. I lock in because I want to do well, and forget to actually meet women or anyone for that matter.

Maybe Im shallow.. maybe I dont deserve it. Either way, I want to lie face down in my bathtub. A fitting punishment for my shallow ass.

Then I think, just go and BE the porn. Unfortunately, straight men dont do well as a solo act, so I’d have to compromise myself sexually to actually do anything with that. Also I heard that sex workers have such difficulty managing an intimate life afterwards. That doesnt sound like something I want.