gangsters paradise ;

the hunger was bone deep. she hadn't remembered the last time she'd had a proper meal outside of coffee and a muffin that she ended up forgetting on her desk once something new caught her attention. it felt like she'd been surviving on fumes for the last few months. "maybe some chinese." it was an odd choice but it was what first came to mind. truthfully, there was no urge to leave and return to face the world and the unknowns that still remained waiting for her.

the idea of him tying her down made her laugh. it had never been that way between them no matter the wish they weren't in the position that they were. she'd thought it to herself many times but hadn't ever dared say it aloud.

"i'm going to stay here tonight." the words even surprised her but she'd decided that she wasn't in any mood to walk out and return to her empty apartment. frankly, she didn't have the energy but mainly, there wasn't any desire to be alone. there was a few seconds to allow him to rebuke in case he had other plans in mind. her body shifted closer to him as she sat up, allowing the comfort of another person to settle over her before her fingers wandered along a vein on his forearm. "you could have just told me that you missed me. i would have been here a lot sooner." perhaps if she hadn't been coming down from the highs of an orgasm she wouldn't have admitted such a weakness for him but she didn't immediately regret the words when they came out.

"chinese  sounds  good."  the  muscled  warrior  leaned  over  her  to  grab  his  phone  off  the  nightstand.  it's  been  placed  there  after  their  text  exchange  that'd  brought  the  detective  to  his  door,  wanting  a  distraction  our  of  the  room  while  they'd  attempt  to  talk  business.  after  pulling  up  the  menu  for  the  place  closest  to  his  home  he  handed  his  device  to  her,  browser  app  open.  "order  whatever  you  want  just  get  double.  they  know  i'll  pay  cash  on  delivery."

the  declaration  hadn't  surprised  sonny,  he  nodded  and  felt  relieved.  it  wasn't  that  he'd  needed  a  post  coital  snuggle,  the  blond  just  wasn't  ready  for  her  presence  to  disappear  again  for  however  long  their  next  standoff  would  endure.  "sooner,  huh?"  the  biker  rasped  as  he  slipped  an  arm  under  serra  and  pulled  her  into  his  side  as  she  cuddled  up.  "i'm  pretty  sure  the  missing  you  is  always  implied."  maybe  it  was  the  vulnerability  in  the  midst  of  the  afterglow,  but  sonny  didn't  rush  to  confuse  and  discard  the  sentiment.

"probably not that nuts in a world with air pods but we're in new york, people would just glance at me and then move on. i love it here. and yeah i do hate it. i mean i'm usually all for non traditional sports. like i think ultimate frisbee is kind of cool even if it's nerdy. and like cheerleading and motocross and skateboarding and all of that stuff is super cool." his eyes widened slightly as she spoke about suites and being given tickets. "i've never seen a game from a suite. but i haven't been to a baseball came in a long time. not since i played." it took him a moment to realize he had talked about it so casually. he usually didn't mention it but it had kind of just come out of him. and he did his best to brush it off, knowing she'd probably ask about it and based on how this conversation was going, he'd probably tell her. "the bills? i mean talk about a group of fans who have been holding out hope for a while. i like the detroit lions, i also kind of like the jaguars but that's just cause i like their colors and their logo. trevor lawrence, their quarterback has luscious hair too."

"i mean who wouldn't love your company? doloris is all about supporting badass women and i'm pretty sure you fall into that category. plus you can cook and i'm just okay at it. she'd probably love cooking with you. she loves gossip and something tells me you'd probably be good with that. you ask a lot of questions so i'm just guessing there." he smiled at her, hoping she knew his words were sincere. they hadn't been friends forever but long enough that clark felt like they had a decent read on each other. they just hadn't taken the time to dive a little deeper. "i mean i feel like you probably cook for other people more than you cook for yourself so, i was just taking a guess there. But I'll take that as you saying I'm right." he was sure she heard him swallow hard at her last words, an image coming into his mind for a moment that inevitably made the tips of his ears turn pink. "good to know there's options," he said finally, gripping the cart a little tighter as he cleared his throat. "alright, where to next? we're in danger of me getting a little hangry so we gotta get this show on the road, chef."

that  was  a  good  point,  and  maybe  she'd  just  gotten  so  used  to  seeing  people  allegedly  talk  to  themselves  that  even  she  thought  nothing  of  it  anymore.  "i  don't  think  i've  ever  seen  ultimate  frisbee.  is  that  the  stuff  we  see  at  the  park?"  it  usually  involved  a  flying  dog,  launching  itself  off  it's  owner's  back.  "cheerleading?"  again,  brow  rose,  no  judgement  but  clark  was  proving  to  be  full  of  surprises.  "well,  if  you  ever  wanna  go..."  the  suggestion  came  easily,  tickets  that  included  a  fully  cater  suite  weren't  hard  to  come  by  for  her.  "just  let  me  know.  i  can  make  it  happen."  although  fidan  hadn't  known  it  was  a  slip,  she  had  caught  the  mention  of  him  having  played  and  naturally  she  looked  him  up  and  down.  as  if  she  could  see  the  game  on  him.  though,  she  was  really  looking  for  a  limp  or  something  that  explained  why  it  was  mentioned  past  tense.  if  they  were  close  in  age  then  he  was  still  young  enough  to  be  in  the  prime  of  the  game.  "what  position  did  you  play?  how  long  ago?  why  don't  you  play  anymore?"  the  questions  rattled  off  one  after  another  but  it  was  just  to  get  a  word  in.  she'd  gotten  clark  talking  and  didn't  really  want  him  to  stop.  "see,  everyone  would  give  you  hell  picking  a  team  based  on  the  colors."  a  laugh.  "but  i  am  kind  and  would  have  to  agree.  carolina  does  have  good  colors.  have  you  seen  a  bills  tailgate  party?"  amusement  flushed  her  expression.

up  until  then,  most  of  the  time  they'd  spent  in  each  other's  company,  it  was  fidan  coloring  clark's  cheeks.  now  it  was  her  turn.  more  so  because  she  was  flattered  than  anything  else  because  the  sentiments  felt  genuine  and  sincere,  not  flirtatious.  "there's  probably  many  people  that  would  tell  you  i'm...  a  little  intense.  very  much  a  chalant  person."  the  fact  that  she'd  had  no  qualms  about  shoving  her  fingers  in  his  mouth  should've  been  a  big  clue  there.  "oh,  but  you're  right,"  the  brunette  sighed  as  they  continued  on  around  the  store  collecting  items,  "i'd  love  to  chat  it  up  with  doloris.  i'm  sure  she's  got  plenty  of  stories  about  you."  dark  eyes  cut  to  him  briefly,  mischief  shining  in  her  gaze.  still  reeling  over  being  considered  a  badass  woman  fidan  couldn't  fully  tamp  down  her  smile.  "alright,  alright  i'll  let  you  have  that  one."  playfully,  her  eyes  half  rolled  and  she  added  one  more  thing  to  the  cart.  his  reaction  was  something  she'd  taken  in  fully.  then  he  called  her  chef  again  with  the  suggestion  still  hanging  in  the  air.  "lets  pay  and  get  back  to  mine.  i  guess  that  partially  eaten  scallop  isn't  gonna  hold  you  forever."  headed  for  the  front  of  the  store,  she  needed  that  moment  to  clear  her  head  or  else  the  meal  was  going  to  become  something  else  entirely.

Cleo raises her drink in cheers, then immediately scans for their waiter. “To dancing, then.” Everyone is heavy-hearted these days, but spending an evening with her friend feels light. “God, trust me, Fi, I would invite you to anything worth going to. The problem is that everything is so boring now. Everyone is so—,” she taps a finger against her bottom lip, deciding on the word. “—morose. Any event with over ten people, everyone’s edgy and eyeing the fire exits. Have you noticed anything like that with your work? Have blog clicks gone up post-fires? Or down?”

Fidan is a good liar. Cleo can never quite tell with her, which is irritating, because Cleo prides herself on being able to tell. “You’re lucky I left my Sherlock Holmes cap, pipe, and little magnifying glass at home. Otherwise, I might pry into that a little further.” She catches the waiter’s eye and signals him over, still mildly amused by the way he skitters around their table. Only once she orders another drink does she answer Fidan’s question. “A little bit of business, a little bit of pleasure. If I tell you about the Fordham professor I’ve been fucking, will you give me something juicy in the romance department? Have you been on any interesting dates?”

as  soon  as  she  agreed  upon  it  there  was  something  that  tickled  the  back  of  her  neck.  a  reservation  that  crawled  from  the  back  of  her  thoughts  closer  to  the  front.  would  a  crowded  place  be  wise,  or  would  a  threat  be  looming  there?  fidan  had  been  putting  herself  in  precarious  situations  as  of  late,  which  had  been  equal  parts  thrilling  as  nerve-racking.  "well,  it's  hard  not  to  feel  that  way..."  like  that  masquerade  gala  on  the  island  where  she  and  other  guests  had  been  trapped  in  a  room  with  a  bomb.  then  the  fires  where  a  few  of  her  friends  had  died.  "the  only  reason  a  party  or  drinking  too  much  sounds  good  to  me  is  because  anything  feels  better  than  than  this  ache."  a  gesture  to  her  ribcage.  gripping,  as  though  she  were  clawing  at  the  meat  of  it.  "now  that  you  mention  it  the  traffic  has  died  down  a  bit.  people  are  weary  of  going  out,  getting  trapped  or  caught  up  in  the  crossfire."  but  there  was  also  the  fact  that  she  hadn't  been  working  as  hard  on  her  blog  because  she'd  been  neck  deep  into  her  own  investigation.

pry.  oh,  how  badly  fidan  wanted  someone  to  give  a  damn.  on  the  flip  side,  though,  she  couldn't  bring  another  person  into  abysses  she  was  walking  into.  so,  she  dimpled  her  cheeks  with  a  grin  and  finished  off  the  rest  of  her  drink  while  her  friend  hailed  the  waiter  who  wasn't  actually  all  that  far  from  them.  fidan  ordered  another  drink  as  well.  "babe,  i'd  give  you  something  juicy  if  i  had  anything  worthy  to  share.  so,  please,  go  on  and  tell  me  about  this  professor.  let  me  live  a  little  vicariously."  a  small  laugh  at  her  own  expense.  "i  don't  really  hold  back  on  showing  people  my  crazy  anymore  and  that  tends  to  scare  everyone  off.  like  god  forbid  a  girl  be  a  little  fucking  insane."  the  brunette  rolled  her  eyes  and  drank  from  her  fresh  drink.

for  a  moment  he  watched  her,  took  in  the  way  she  responded  and  couldn't  help  but  to  smirk  a  little  at  her  comments  about  his  sign.  "what  do  they  do  to  you?"  head  canting  to  the  side,  cash  regarded  her  a  little  different,  tried  to  pull  away  from  the  way  in  which  he  knew  her  to  see  if  he  could  pick  up  something  different.  "virgos  are  super  organized,  right?"  that  would  nearly  be  the  extent  of  his  knowledge  on  the  subject,  and  he  only  knew  that  much  because  of  all  the  lists  and  color  coordination  and  meticulousness  that  a  friend  used  to  make  obvious.  "i'm  a  scorpio."  the  blond's  brow  wiggled.  "do  i  fit  the  bill?"  somewhere  in  the  back  of  his  mind  he  knew  there  was  a  lot  more  to  it,  had  heard  many  times  about  the  science  of  it  but  he  could  never  pay  attention  long.

weimar  cabaret.  cash  hadn't  heard  of  it.  why  would  he?  but  as  she  went  on  and  painted  a  sort  of  picture  for  him  the  fighter  listened  as  his  gaze  scanned  once  again.  this  time  it  wasn't  to  survey  the  kingdom,  it  was  picturing  how  the  space  would  be  filled  for  the  avant-garde  cleo  was  going  for.  "i  had  no  idea  you  were  so...  anti  establishment."  a  smirk  hooked  at  his  lips  and  the  tease  settled  somewhere  between  them.  "i  don't  think  i've  ever  pretended  to  be  difficult.  hold  on,  so...  you  want  me  to  close  for  the  night,  private  event,  host  the  space  but  you  do  the  decorating  and  setup?"  cash  curled  his  fingers  at  her.  "give  me  more,  layout  what  you're  wanting  here."

       tickled  with  a  flash  of  amusement,  she  offered  alfred  a  funny  look.  "well,  i'd  certainly  hope  they  are."  the  knife  tucked  under  a  cushion  wasn't  entirely  or  even  mostly  there  for  him.  since  digging  and  having  spent  the  last  two  years  doing  so,  the  brunette  had  become  a  little  paranoid.  sounds  outside  of  her  home  in  the  middle  of  the  night,  sometimes  even  in  broad  daylight,  felt  like  an  intruder.  this  pantheon  stuff  and  their  reach  was  creeping  her  out  as  well,  but  the  grief  of  losing  more  friends  was  what  kept  driving  her  forward.

"yeah,  been  there,  i  get  it.  for  me  it  was  nothing.  just  a  means  to  let  loose.  but  emily...  she  loved  proximity  to  power,  and  discernment  wasn't  really  a  tool  she  cared  to  sharpen."  at  his  question  fidan  pulled  her  phone  from  the  other  side  of  her  on  the  cushion  and  scrolled  through  it  for  a  moment.  when  she  offered  it  over  to  alfie  it  was  of  her  last  text  exchange  with  emily.  where  she  mentioned  going  to  the  marquee  again,  avoiding  some  guy  she  referred  to  as  'the  shady  one,  you  remember?',  and  something  about  someone's  wife.  it  all  looked  like  ramblings  in  a  way,  even  to  fidan  because  she  only  knew  of  these  things  through  vague  stories  she'd  received  with  emily  was  sober  a  day  or  two  later.  "she  seemed  normal  last  i  got  from  her."  a  gesture  to  the  phone.  "but  i  went  into  the  marquee  recently  and...  have  you  seen  the  type  of  people  that  rub  elbows  in  there?"

"where'd  you  say  you  grew  up?"  genuine  interest  sparked  in  her  dark  gaze  as  she  peered  at  her  friend.  she  was  sure  they'd  talked  about  it,  but  she  was  also  sure  it'd  happened  over  drinks  and  sometimes  details  were  fuzzy  after  that.  "for  me,  it  was  taught  to  be  distasteful  to  completely  clean  your  plate,  but  from  a  professional  standpoint  it's  truly  the  only  way  to  get  through  all  the  chefs  and  restaurants  want  you  to  try.  no  more  than  a  few  bites  of  anything."  though,  there  were  the  rare  times  fidan  got  a  taste  of  something  incredible  and  euphoric  that  she'd  have  to  devour  more  of.  "the  times  always  get  a  little  carried  away  on  those  pieces."  eyes  half  rolled,  she  wrote  for  the  paper  as  well  but  she  was  known  for  keeping  it  real.  "i  think  that's  it  though.  i  have  a  hard  time  with  things,  especially  drinks,  that  are  overly  sweet."  a  mental  note  was  being  tucked  away  in  the  back  of  her  head,  yet  her  cheeks  dimpled  with  amusement  as  she  watched  cleo  finish  off  the  drink  regardless.

"alright,  dancing  it  is.  i  actually  need  to  really  let  my  hair  down  and  stay  out  of  my  house  as  long  as  possible."  a  small  laugh,  she'd  been  holing  herself  up  for  days  at  a  time  since  the  fires.  since  grief  gripped  her  all  over  again.  "oh,  come  on.  there's  gotta  be  things  moving  in  the  art  world.  you  can  ask  me  to  a  show  or  gallery  at  any  time,  you  know  this.  don't  hold  out  on  me."  mostly  a  tease,  she  knew  there  were  lulls  in  any  industry  but  so  many  things  could  be  considered  art.

another  laugh  bubbled  up  at  the  fire  reference.  "fucking  hell.  that's  what  it  feels  like,  doesn't  it?"  a  sigh  heaved  out  of  her  and  fidan  tossed  her  dark,  thick  tresses  back  behind  her  shoulders.  genuinely,  she  appreciated  cleo  asking,  but  whether  she  had  permission  or  not...  the  former  chef  would  lie.  "oh,  i'm  doing  great.  coping  better  than  i  thought  i  would.  maybe  i'm  just  becoming  numb  to  grief  at  this  point."  reaching  for  the  drink  she'd  cast  aside,  she  let  some  of  that  alcohol  down  her  throat.  "but  yeah,  wow,  it  really  has  been  since  then.  what  have  you  been  doing?"