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oozey mess
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

â
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
noise dept.
wallacepolsom

if i look back, i am lost
$LAYYYTER
Sweet Seals For You, Always
đŞź
One Nice Bug Per Day
YOU ARE THE REASON

çĽćĽ / Permanent Vacation

izzy's playlists!
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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@waternavigator

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being dominant about consent
âlook at me.â
âyou donât get quiet when somethingâs wrong. you use your words. i need to hear you.â
âdoes this feel good, sweetheart? tell me.â
âi wonât guess. youâll guide me. thatâs how this works.â
âmay i touch you here?â
âif you hesitate, i stop. immediately.â
âi want your yes. not your silence.â
âsay it clearly for me. green, yellow, or red.â
âgood girl. thatâs it. always tell me.â
âyou trust me because i make it safe to.â
âiâm in control, but you are never powerless.â
âif it stops being good for you, it stops. no questions. no disappointment.â
âyour comfort is not optional.â
âyouâre mine to guide, not to harm.â
ânow come here. and tell me exactly what you want.â
âIâm sorry I made such a mess, Iâll try not to gag so much next time.â
He just finished fucking my mouth, and for whatever reason - perhaps the angle of his cock or his pace or my lack of sleep - there was a lot more gagging and drool this time. My chin was dripping, my eyes were watering, and there was a puddle on the floor in front of me, between his feet.
âDonât apologize. I loved it.â
âYeah? You donât want me to work on my gag reflex?â
âWhy would I want that?â
âSo I can take you fully?â
âWhen you choke, your throat tightens up around my cock. You grab my thighs in panic but we both know you canât go anywhere. It makes me feel like a fucking god. So no, I donât want you to work on it.â
đĽšđĽšđĽš i throat so much cock and still gag...im so lucky that some Men appreciate my failure
My favorite ways to put disobient girls in their place;
A firm slap followed by a stern âExcuse meâ?
Bending her over mid sentence for inspection. Itâs hard to sass when youâre exposed like that.
Grabbing a fistful of her hair, forcing her head up to meet my gaze, and saying âmind your mannersâ.
Pulling her over my lap for a quick, but hard spanking. It should be under 2 minutes, but intense enough to remind her it could go a *lot* longer.
Making her kneel beside you while youâre finishing something up. Stuffing her panties in her mouth and warning her not to drop them is an added bonus.
Cuffing her hands behind her then exposing her tits. Reminding her that sheâs eye candy needs to drop the attitude.
Yanking her pants to her knees, grabbing a tight hold of her neck, and marching her to the corner. Make her hold whatever position you prefer once sheâs there, but her struggling to keep up and the look on her face while you remind her whoâs in charge and what youâre going to do to her for misbehaving is perfect.
Making her strip naked for a spanking. Pull her over your lap, and make her sit there for a while before you actually begin. Spank her, make her get on her knees and apologize, then pull her back over your lap to finish the spanking. That keeps her off balance and submissive.
Grabbing her cheeks with one hand, forcing her mouth open, spitting inside it, closing her mouth, forcefully telling her to swallow, then sweetly asking âwhat were you sayingâ?
Lastly; Roughly pull her over your lap like youâre going to spank her, but donât. Instead, play with her pretty little pussy. Edge her. Get her close to orgasm, then put her on her knees. Inform her that only good girls get to cum, and sense she canât behave, she doesnât get to cum. Use her mouth for the rest of the night, whenever you want. Sheâll be soaked, with only the promise that maybe in the morning, youâll let her her. That attitude fixes itself, every time.
I know Iâm a broken record butâŚ
Thereâs a world of difference between a situation where a couple might say âIâm a sub so my pleasure doesnât matterâ and that turns the sub on, so this whole interaction actually pleases the subâŚ
Vs a situation where a subâs pleasure is literally minimized and the sub is expected to have their desires widely neglected.Â
â
Or a situation where a sub hasnât had an orgasm in weeks and they might say âGood girls donât cum.â but they enjoy the neediness that denial brings them overallâŚeven if it brings frustration, itâs more of a net positive overall.Â
Vs a sub who genuinely doesnât enjoy denial and hasnât had an orgasm in weeks because theyâre trying to prove to their dom (or themselves) that theyâll attempt to amputate their needs and wants for the sake of proving themselves submissive.Â
â
In other words, being objectified, degraded, put in second place, receiving physical pain, being expected to sacrifice, etc when itâs what you both want and enjoy at least for the most part (with some kinks it makes sense for it to not be all 100% thrillâŚbut is still a net positive when analyzed overall) - is different from genuinely being treated as less important or less worthy of happiness.Â
Net positive. I like it.

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If She Doesnât Feel You For Days, Youâre Doing It Wrong
Iâm not talking just about the fucking and the sexy times and the scenes. I donât just mean the slaps and pulls, bites and pinches, belts and ropes, licks and thrusts. Oh, the licks and thrusts. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh, yes! I am talking about all of the above, and so much more. I am talking about anything and everything you do. If youâre doing it without passion, if you are going through the motions, youâre doing it wrong. Sheâll know it. Everyone around you will know it. Do you kiss her when you walk in the door? Do you lean over and plant a peck on her cheek as you toss aside your coat? Stop that shit. Stop it now. If youâre going to kiss her, grab her by the back of her hair, lick your way up her throat, and then kiss her like youâre trying to save her fucking life. Even if that entire exchange lasts only 10 seconds because youâre in a rush to hop in the shower and get to wherever the hell your ass needs to be next. Sheâll feel that for days. Not everyone is good at putting pretty words down on a piece of paper. I get it. Go ahead and buy her a Hallmark card that says everything you feel about her in your heart. But fucking write something personal in it or go home empty-handed. Tell her about the last time she took your breath away. Tell her what you want to do to her the next time youâre alone. Tell her something that can only come from you because sheâs yours. Tell her what you think of when you feel her hair in your hand or smell her shampoo. Tell her your fucking dick twitches when she calls you in the middle of the day and laughs into the phone. Sheâll feel that for days. Donât roll over when you get into bed. Grab her hip and pull her into you. Burrow your nose into her neck. It doesnât matter if all you do after is go to sleep. Do it because sheâs the last goddamn thing you want to feel as you drift off at the end of the night. Do it because you want her in your dreams. Sheâll feel that for days. Donât spank her because she asked for it. Spank her because holy shit, that ass. Donât eat her pussy because thatâs what gets her good and ready. Eat her pussy because itâs the only thing that will cure the cancer eating away at your soul. Whisper into her ear every dirty fucking thing about her that makes you crazy. Up your game a bit. Donât ask her, âIs this what you want? Whose pussy is this?â Fuck. That. Lean over and fucking TELL her that pussy is yours. Because youâve never felt pussy so good.â¨Because youâll never stop wanting it.â¨Because all day you canât wait to get in it. Sheâll feel that for days. Long after the sun rises and the soreness wears off and the bruises fade, sheâll still feel you. Sheâll feel you sinking into the cracks in her soul and hear the echoes of every whisper as it bounces around her heart. Sheâll call you in the middle of the day and laugh that laugh that makes your dick twitch, but what you wonât see on the other end is her blushing and squirming in her seat because she can feel you. Whatever IT is, if you do it like you fucking mean it, like you cannot take another breath without doing it, sheâll know the difference. Sheâll feel it forever.
THIS!!!!!!
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Yesfuckingplease â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
A must read! đŻâ¤ď¸đĽ
âGet some sleep for me.â
I was going to sleep anyway. Iâm already in bed.
But now itâs different.
Now Iâm closing my eyes for him. He feels closer, and Iâm melting into his subtle command.
He could have said goodnight, sweet dreams, sleep well... but he didnât.
He gave direction. He gave me the most comforting way to end my day - following his firm hand to rest.
itâs the âfor meâ.Â
in the D/s relationships iâve been in, those two words have an almost magical ability to make me feel ownership on the most reassured level imaginable. whether i hear them before going to sleep, or at the beginning of my day, they have the power to make me feel floaty all the way through, in a way that other words and phrases donât.
itâs one of my favorite, casual leash tugs. it feels bonding. it reminds me that weâre in this together, and that we both make each other better for it.
Punishment
In all our time together, I only got the belt twice. The belt was for broken rules, reserved for the worst offenses. If I got mouthy or let protocol slip, heâd give me quiet reflection time. Kneeling with hands behind my back and nose to the wall, thinking about my actions until the timer went off. Then Iâd write a letter detailing what Iâd thought about and why my obedience mattered.Â
But the belt was a different kind of correction. In position, no warm-up, full strength. The tears began almost instantly, progressing to screams and full-body sobs by the time he finished. And then he scooped me into his arms and held me so tightly I almost couldnât breathe. I nuzzled against his chest as my heart rate began to slow. I closed my eyes and listened to his soft voice.
âDaddyâs here. All is forgiven. Iâve got you. Youâre safe now.â
From the outside, punishment may be the hardest thing for people to understand about D/s relationships. Why would a strong, independent woman willingly submit to a man beating her for breaking what seems like arbitrary rules? I see three important functions for punishment.Â
Remembering itâs not a game. This dynamic is built on responsibility and accountability. Dominants and submissives each have responsibilities to one another and to the dynamic. But nowhere is that more apparent than when a rule is broken. Itâs easy to make a submissive wear a plug on a date or deny permission for an orgasm. But punishment is hard. Itâs unpleasant. But without it, the dynamic is just dress-up. Being punished reminds me that the power exchange is real, and that I can trust my Dominant to hold me accountable.Â
Reconnecting with my role. Itâs rare for me to break rules. But when I do, it usually means that the connection hasnât felt as present for me. I forget an instruction, or even worse, I question it. Then when I realize Iâve disobeyed, I feel even worse. It is hard for me to feel submissive with the cloud of disobedience over me. Iâve stepped outside my role. I struggle to connect with my Dominant because I know I did something to undermine the dynamic.Â
By submitting to the punishment, I remember that I am choosing this. I remember that I donât have to follow rules or submit to this person, but I choose this life because it fulfills me. I choose it because itâs how I feel loved and at peace. Punishment can be awful. But it reminds me why I kneel. It helps me to reconnect with my purpose.
Knowing I am worth the effort. It is so much easier for a Dominant not to punish their submissive. Itâs easy to excuse the behavior. Maybe the submissive has been under a lot of stress or had a bad day. Maybe the Dominant hasnât been as engaged as theyâd like to be. But no matter the excuse, I need to know that I am worth the effort to correct. Perhaps that correction is a discussion, not a punishment; itâs not my place to decide whatâs warranted. But I need my Dominant to acknowledge my misstep and take action accordingly.Â
I feel awful when I break a rule. And if my Dominant doesnât correct me, I feel unseen and unimportant. I need to know that my Dominant cares enough to hold me accountable. Itâs easier to let it slide. But a good Dominant will choose the more difficult path because itâs better for me and for us in the long run. I put a lot of effort into my obedience, but I fall short sometimes. When I do, I need to know that my Dominant will step up. I need to know that love and ownership arenât just for when Iâm perfect. I need to know I am worth the effort to correct.Â
Punishment is deeply cleansing for me. I donât enjoy it. I donât want it. But I need it. I need to trust my Dominant to hold me accountable, and I need to accept responsibility for my actions. After, I can return to my place at their feet with renewed commitment to the role I cherish so much.Â
You know those scenes in a chick flick where the male lead looks at his female love interest like she's the most amazing thing he's ever seen?
I've noticed recently that my husband looks at me when I'm randomly speaking or doing something and smiles with the purest, happiest smiles I've ever seen. He looks at me like he adores every part of me from my frizzy hair to my tippy toes, even when I question what does he see in me. When I ask, "What are you smiling at?" His sweet "You," never fails to make me blush. To be on the receiving end of those smiles... sighhhh. And in those moments, those adoring eyes tell me more than any "I love you" ever could.
What is Domestic Discipline?
I know it can be hard to understand at times and this entry is an attempt to clarify things a bit. Domestic Discipline is:
Using reasonable punishments with loving intentions behind them as means to correct unwanted, dangerous, or detrimental behaviors.
Being patient, understanding, and forgiving.
Respecting one another at all times, in all situations.
Putting complete trust in your spouse.
Spanking on the buttocks and/or sit spot with self-control and appropriate loving intentions behind it.
Using reasonable, rational, and sensible punishments with self-control and appropriate loving intentions behind them.
Being fair and unbiased.
Confessing your mistakes to your spouse with remorse, respect, and contrition.
Taking responsibility for your actions.
Supporting your spouse in all situations and in all aspects of the marriage.
Communicating, communicating, and communicating some more.
Apologizing for mistakes made or poor judgment used with sincerity and humbleness.Â
Displaying leadership.Â
Setting a good example.Â
Showing admiration and affection towards your spouse.Â
Using encouragement and reinforcement to build your spouses self-esteem and improve their overall behavior.

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I have a question. Do you ever feel like on some level it's just pretend? Like, as an adult, does a spanking really work to change your habits? I mean no disrespect. I am a 24/7 sub and I just want to feel it's real... But on some level I think we can't get past the sense that it's play. I think my dom and I both want it to be real but there's like a barrier we can't get past. Idk if this makes sense. Thanks :/
I can tell that you tried to consider how your question would come off to me on the receiving end of an anonymous question and added context to help with that - I really appreciate that! Thank you.
My first thought when asked if it feels like pretend, is definitely no. My D/s is very much real and it feels natural and authentic to us.
But then you say does a spanking really work to change my habits?
And, no, not really. I have experiences where I have formed new habits or got rid of bad habits through DD or D/s. So I don't mean to suggest that D/s hasn't helped me change habits. It unquestionably has. But I don't think that change comes from being spanked or whatever. I don't think punishment itself is much of a motivator, at least it never has been for me. I think the motivation to change comes from feeling bad about not keeping my commitment to CD, and it comes from wanting to keep my commitments to him, wanting to please him, etc. That would exist with or without punishment.
I guess to just try to speak more generally on D/s feeling real vs fake...
I think it's normal for it to feel awkward or like acting or like it's fake when you're new. Maybe especially for elements like punishment which didn't exist in your relationship at all prior to D/s.
Maybe something to think on, is what 'real' vs 'fake' means to you in the context of D/s.
I have absolutely no clue if this is you or not. Just throwing it out there as it is something I've noticed for some people....
I think sometimes when D/s feels fake to people it's because their instinctual idea of submission is that it should be forced or absolute, that the sub should have no say or no control in it at all. So real life submission may feel fake to them because they helped design their rules, or they could safeword, or they could call off the entire dynamic and to them that somehow cheapens the authenticity of their D/s?
Truthfully, if that's how someone feels...then their idea of 'real D/s' is actually abuse. It's uncomfortable, but a lot of BDSM or D/s fantasies are romanticizing or fetishizing aspects of abuse...and that's fine if it's kept as fantasy or it's done as role play with a negotiation in advance and a safeword in place and all those things. But when talking about time outside of scenes, 24/7 D/s stuff, you really have to separate kink fantasies from the serious aspects of your D/s.
In my view, keeping fantasies separate from the 'serious' side of your 24/7 D/s doesn't make 24/7 D/s fake at all. It IS a dynamic that you have intentionally created, but I don't think that makes it fake or pretend. Lots of things are created by us but that doesn't make them real. For example, marriage is something we agree to 'create' with another person, and we both consent to the agreement...and you could file for divorce at any time. But the commitment you made is still real, right? I think D/s is much the same.
When I think about why I see my D/s as real, a few things come to mind. I imagine these may vary for other people. So I'm not saying if others don't have these things that they aren't real D/s. But what makes me feel that my D/s is real is...
We both take the commitment seriously. We don't see it as a joke or whatever, we take it seriously. We both know the other relies on us to keep our commitment and would be hurt if we just ignored our responsibilities to the other.
We both naturally skew towards our 'role' even without meaning to. It's part of our personalities or our natural traits, to some degree. We choose to embrace or enhance it, but the basic core pieces of it would be there instinctually.
It's something we both need to feel truly fulfilled with our relationship.
For me those things boil down to "it's a natural part of who we are" and that makes it real. We create it, negotiate it and renegotiate it as often as needed. It changes how it looks or how we live it out due to those negotiations and changes. Either of us could stop it all at any time. None of those make it fake or pretend to me.
Hope something in here helps. :)
In case it needed to be said......... I donât submit because I think heâs superior to me, I submit because I trust that he always has my best interest at heart
My Dom Shows Me Respect By...
Hearing me out even when he disagrees with me.
Backing off when I say something is really too much.
Keeping his ego in check when making decisions for us.Â
Respecting my limits.
Loving me for being me. Â
Handling tough discussions with care and a calm tone of voice.Â
Being my safe place.Â
Staying on top of his responsibilities within our relationship.
Seeing value in my personality, including the soft, cautious and sensitive parts.
Double-checking his views or decisions if I voice concerns.
Following the D/s hierarchy.Â
Recognizing and accepting our differences.Â
Working hard to earn my trust.Â
Holding me accountable.Â
Understanding that somedays submission is hard.Â
Using D/s to help me grow in ways I find meaningful. Â
Believing in me.
Showing up to support, guide, or discipline me as needed, even when itâs hard. Â
Trusting that I am trying even when I fall short.Â
Giving me boundaries.Â
Protecting my sensitive heart.Â
Being patient with me.Â
Setting goals for me that are achievable.Â
Building me up.Â
Considering his impact on me.Â
Trusting me.Â
Being dedicated to me.Â
Encouraging me to say ânoâ when I need to.Â
Doing his best to make the best decisions.Â
Staying loyal to me.
Speaking kindly of me. Â
Advocating for what is best for me.Â
Caring about my pleasure.Â
Being clear about what he expects from me.Â
Analyzing his perspectives, beliefs, and actions regularly.Â
Being open and honest with me.
Forgiving me when I make mistakes.
Viewing us as a team.
Keeping his promises and commitments.Â
Remembering the value of my submission.Â
Some of you need to realize that a woman doing something kind for a male partner is not always a sign of her own oppression wtf
Me: hey babe I picked up coffee for us on my way home
Someone who has literally never touched grass: QUEEN HE DOESNT DESERVE IT - YOU ARE NOT HIS SLAVE - THE FACT YOU CANT SEE THIS MAKES YOU A TRADWIFE - GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN
Some of you are falling for the radfem rhetoric that because the patriarchy exists no individual man could be a decent human being or deserving of kindness
The same way that housewives who CHOOSE to be housewives while their husbands work DO exist and are NOT traitors or opppressed
This is actually really important to me so Iâm going to keep talking about it. My mom was a stay-at-home mom for my entire childhood. She chose to drop out of her masterâs program to raise me, even though my father and her entire family had offered to come together and raise the baby so she could finish out her degree.
After I was born, she talked to a close friend about if sheâd made the right choice - she felt like she was relegating herself to a life without importance - she felt that society had told her that to be important she has to go get her degree and âchange the world.â Her friend told her that if she is raising her children to be good people, sheâs changing the world by being present for them and helping them live their fullest potential.
My mom believed in this principle so strongly that she followed it for most of my life and dedicated long hours to schooling us at home (at least 3 of us kids were neurodivergent - I can confidently say I wouldnât have survived as my authentic self in a public school).
My mom and dad have one of the best relationships Iâve ever seen - itâs one I aspire to and admire all the time. My father has overwhelming respect and love for my mom, which she has for him as well. They like to sit on the patio or in the living room and have a drink while they just talk for long hours alone together. They miss each other when theyâre gone. I once found a love note from my dad to my mom the day he left on a business trip and at the time I was embarrassed but in retrospect who doesnât want the kind of partner who writes love notes after being together 10, 15, 25 years?
To assume my mom was oppressed, conservative, didnât make her own choice, didnât think about the implications of her choice, or didnât have a relationship that was both equal and loving makes you look stupid and to a certain degree sexist yourself.
People will be rude as hell to stay-at-home moms for no damn reason. Even if you havenât seen it happen I guarantee itâs happened.
It's also a form of misogyny to devalue what is seen as traditionally feminine work â the raising of kids, housework, cooking, etc. Any feminism that places value only on women occupying typically masculine roles â having careers, etc â is actually just perpetuating this misogynist tradition While it's important to give women options, it's also important to remember that there's a reason why we look down on this kind of typical "woman's work", and it's not (just) because we're afraid of oppression â it's because patriarchy has devalued and minimised it to the point of poisoning it in our minds. We don't see it as important, and yet it is one of the most important roles you will ever perform. And its one that should be enthusiastically performed regardless of gender. Otherwise all we're going to do is raise children who will perpetuate these patriarchal ideas
dear god the sheer magic of being so invested in a book you just sit and read half of it feverishly without any ability to stop, just gulping down word after word like itâs water in a desert and your eyes arenât fast enough for your mind and when you reach the last page you look up and realize youâre not decades and miles away but in the space of your own room,,,, truly unmatched by any other human experience

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25 years
Tomorrow is our anniversary. We have been married for 17 years and together for 25. We lived in 3 countries, lost jobs and found different talents in ourselves. We have 3 beautiful kids, lost people we love and found unexpected friendships. We live and still have the feeling we pretend being grown-ups.Â
Not everything was sunshine and rainbows. We had our hard times as well. But you have been there with me and for me. When my mom got terminal ill you took over everything. Put your job on pause to take care of the kids and the house so I could full time be there for my mom. You did it without even raising an eyebrow. As if it was the most natural thing in the world.Â
This summer I found the courage to talk to you about my desires and wishes. What I was discovering about myself. This time both your eyebrows rose. You had a hard time seeing yourself in the role of a dominant. Didnât want a woman to follow orders and reallyâŚâŚ spanking me or hurting me? Out of the question! Throughout the summer we talked a lot. After your first âshockâ you really listened to me. Made me feel safe to open up and be vulnerable. It was scary but also exciting. You put in the work. Reading up about it.Â
Now half a year later we are on our most exciting adventure of our marriage (of our lives even). We are still learning and shaping up what works for us. We stumble, fall and get back up. Giving up control to you, made me realized just how much control I took in this relationship. We have new rules and exciting play times. I am discovering so much about myself and feel like I am 18 again exploring ourselves in new ways.
The most valuable experience of this journey is to see you grow in your role. To see âmy thingâ change into OUR lifestyle. You were always handsome but youâre irresistible now. You walk up straighter, your head up high. Even friends and family see the changes. You start to really enjoy your new found dominance (or rediscovering it). Your creativity astounds me in and outside our bed. Youâre playful, loving but strict and unbending. You truly SEE me now for who I am now.
You have always been the love of my life. Now I can call you my Dominant (husband) as well. It is an honor to serve you and I am so so so proud of you.Â
Your Kitten