Your Average Nobody

∆ legal adult ∆ queer ∆ current gender: the loss of a friend you never knew in the most basic ways, but knew in all the ways that mattered. the loss of words at why the way things are. the sense of overwhelming dread at the state of the world, but being reminded that to lose hope is to let them win. the slow healing of a wound, so incremental it feels like forever, still so raw that you don't know if it will ever heal; but it will, it always does, somehow. the way you wish you were who you were a year ago, but knowing that you must grow, and must go on, and that some day you will be grateful for it. the knowing that this has all happened before and it will happen again, but it feels like the first time you're certain that this too shall pass, that it no longer feels like the end of the world but just a hollow ache.