"One Hostile"

Y'know, if we’re gonna sell that we are, actually, boyfriend and girlfriend, then we might have to, uh… y'know… || (Tim and Lucy decide to practice kissing before going undercover.)

So last week I was talking to my neighbor on our walk about ways to de-stress and how I was thinking about getting some seeds and gardening. She immediately said DO IT (yes chancellor) The only problem is I’ve never been able to grow anything other than mold in my refrigerator and two children.

So Saturday my husband needed to go to Lowes and I went with him just to “look around” which was apparently my next mistake. My husband, god love him, doesn’t have it in him to tell me no to my inane and somewhat asinine ideas so he also encouraged me to get what I needed to start a small garden. Heres how it started:

Keep in mind I have NO idea what I’m doing so when someone tells me that my pots aren’t big enough for peppers I go get more. And if someone tells me I need an indoor greenhouse, I also get that.

But I also come back with this…

This is Tom the tomato plant. We don’t eat tomatoes. Also that picture of the greenhouse was on day three… sorry to jump ahead I just forgot to take a picture of it.

But on that note!! Imagine my surprise when I see sprouts in the greenhouse on day 3!!! It really is day three my stupid ass thought it was day 4… 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦‍♀️

The middle one is zucchini I almost didn’t plant and the left ones are flowers my child wanted. I have no idea where I’m going to put zucchini.

So on the actual day 4 I realized I have a problem when I went to Home Depot to look at garden bed options (ONLY LOOKING) that I came home with another greenhouse and 6 more seed packets.

At the moment I am TRYING to grow: two kinds of melons, tomatoes, green beans, strawberries, peppers, lettuce, cauliflower, parsley, basil, lavender, and three kinds of flowers.

I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time but dear lord please send help.

I have gotten myself in way over my head. I bought one of the super large trays of like 72 pods and started a bunch more seeds. Here’s a list of everything…

So far the peppers. And strawberries, the ones I originally wanted have done nothing. Nada. Zip. So I thought fuck it I’m sad and I got these:

There is three in total. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I also said fuck it and planted two entire pepper cores. Still nothing to report there.

My zucchini I was so happy about…. All but one are dead. 😭😭 RIP ZEKE!!

But!! I started lettuce again and I’ve got babies!

And Tom is growing well! I keep encouraging him every day to start giving me baby tomatoes. He keeps arguing he’s not old enough yet. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Also no one told me green beans grow like crazy in -2.5 days. Crazy germination rate!! So I now have 10ish bush and pole beans waiting to be dropped into their home for the next year.

Same for the cucumber actually.

Good thing we got wood for the raised bed that should have been built last weekend.

Oh and my husband insisted on this guy… 😳

We got the green beans in the long bed and a BUNCH of Zucchini because my husband insisted. 8 plants. Please comment and tell him that’s too many plants 😂

I FINALLY have pepper sprouts and like 17 or 18 lettuce sprouts.

And Tom the tomato plant has a baby brother plant that I propagated! (Also he is huge… getting transplanted again tonight)

And now squash and cucumber have been planted. Also I HATE growing leafy stuff from seed. I may or may not have BOILED my carrots trying to harden them yesterday.

So last week I was talking to my neighbor on our walk about ways to de-stress and how I was thinking about getting some seeds and gardening. She immediately said DO IT (yes chancellor) The only problem is I’ve never been able to grow anything other than mold in my refrigerator and two children.

So Saturday my husband needed to go to Lowes and I went with him just to “look around” which was apparently my next mistake. My husband, god love him, doesn’t have it in him to tell me no to my inane and somewhat asinine ideas so he also encouraged me to get what I needed to start a small garden. Heres how it started:

Keep in mind I have NO idea what I’m doing so when someone tells me that my pots aren’t big enough for peppers I go get more. And if someone tells me I need an indoor greenhouse, I also get that.

But I also come back with this…

This is Tom the tomato plant. We don’t eat tomatoes. Also that picture of the greenhouse was on day three… sorry to jump ahead I just forgot to take a picture of it.

But on that note!! Imagine my surprise when I see sprouts in the greenhouse on day 3!!! It really is day three my stupid ass thought it was day 4… 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦‍♀️

The middle one is zucchini I almost didn’t plant and the left ones are flowers my child wanted. I have no idea where I’m going to put zucchini.

So on the actual day 4 I realized I have a problem when I went to Home Depot to look at garden bed options (ONLY LOOKING) that I came home with another greenhouse and 6 more seed packets.

At the moment I am TRYING to grow: two kinds of melons, tomatoes, green beans, strawberries, peppers, lettuce, cauliflower, parsley, basil, lavender, and three kinds of flowers.

I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time but dear lord please send help.

I have gotten myself in way over my head. I bought one of the super large trays of like 72 pods and started a bunch more seeds. Here’s a list of everything…

So far the peppers. And strawberries, the ones I originally wanted have done nothing. Nada. Zip. So I thought fuck it I’m sad and I got these:

There is three in total. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I also said fuck it and planted two entire pepper cores. Still nothing to report there.

My zucchini I was so happy about…. All but one are dead. 😭😭 RIP ZEKE!!

But!! I started lettuce again and I’ve got babies!

And Tom is growing well! I keep encouraging him every day to start giving me baby tomatoes. He keeps arguing he’s not old enough yet. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Also no one told me green beans grow like crazy in -2.5 days. Crazy germination rate!! So I now have 10ish bush and pole beans waiting to be dropped into their home for the next year.

Same for the cucumber actually.

Good thing we got wood for the raised bed that should have been built last weekend.

Oh and my husband insisted on this guy… 😳

So last week I was talking to my neighbor on our walk about ways to de-stress and how I was thinking about getting some seeds and gardening. She immediately said DO IT (yes chancellor) The only problem is I’ve never been able to grow anything other than mold in my refrigerator and two children.

So Saturday my husband needed to go to Lowes and I went with him just to “look around” which was apparently my next mistake. My husband, god love him, doesn’t have it in him to tell me no to my inane and somewhat asinine ideas so he also encouraged me to get what I needed to start a small garden. Heres how it started:

Keep in mind I have NO idea what I’m doing so when someone tells me that my pots aren’t big enough for peppers I go get more. And if someone tells me I need an indoor greenhouse, I also get that.

But I also come back with this…

This is Tom the tomato plant. We don’t eat tomatoes. Also that picture of the greenhouse was on day three… sorry to jump ahead I just forgot to take a picture of it.

But on that note!! Imagine my surprise when I see sprouts in the greenhouse on day 3!!! It really is day three my stupid ass thought it was day 4… 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦‍♀️

The middle one is zucchini I almost didn’t plant and the left ones are flowers my child wanted. I have no idea where I’m going to put zucchini.

So on the actual day 4 I realized I have a problem when I went to Home Depot to look at garden bed options (ONLY LOOKING) that I came home with another greenhouse and 6 more seed packets.

At the moment I am TRYING to grow: two kinds of melons, tomatoes, green beans, strawberries, peppers, lettuce, cauliflower, parsley, basil, lavender, and three kinds of flowers.

I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time but dear lord please send help.