a guide to self acceptance as someone who is black and esu/trace - deyjahvu777
feeling guilty or having trouble accepting yourself is completely normal in this very niche situation. for many, many reasons!! but I was able to accept myself, fully manifest every single change, and fit in perfectly in my community, and you should be able to aswell. so these are some of my favourite tips and tricks to help you out.
1. don't be closed off to criticism
many people out there dislike it when people manifest a new ethnicity and race, and they have their reasons. instead of avoiding conversations around why it might be problematic, listen. don't take it as a personal attack, take it as constructive criticism. try your best to understand the point of view and where it's coming from.
especially with being black. for hundreds of years we have been exploited, dehumanized, and brutally g*n0cided, then mocked for our culture, only for that same culture to be celebrated when it's on a white body, with no credit given, while we still face reprocussions when we engage with that same culture created by us. this is something that has been happening and still happens. it's easy for anyone to make the link that someone who is manifesting being racially black could be feeding into this issue, that's why I preach commitment, ancestral revision, and manifesting actual genetic changes. permanent minishifting, if that makes more sense. you can't have the rhythm without the blues.
so, while understanding negative views, understanding that they're more about society than you as an individual, and using them as a way to be better, it's also important to understand (affirmation alert) that you've always been black and you always are black. you don't get the privilege of being black sometimes and nonblack other times. I'ma say it again because I really want it to sink in
you don't get the privilege of being black sometimes and nonblack other times
that's genuinely the most important mindset shift and once you understand that everything else will naturally fall into place. and that brings me to my next point
2. it's a lifestyle, not something you can cherry pick
don't just get a hairstyle without learning about parting, getting tools from a black owned beauty supply store, and learning about it's history and different ways people have faced discrimination because of it
don't just listen to music, learn about black musicians in history and their significance, their importance to the music industry, and the way they've been stolen from. in fact, learn about how literally most genres were pioneered by black musicians. learn about the way black people have literally shaped modern music globally with no credit.
don't just watch any movie or tv show about a black story, do your research and learn which films and tv shows are appreciated in the community and which ones are considered negative representation and why.
embrace being black, and don't engage with police officers like a white person would. embrace being black, but don't be white when it's convenient.
and please, learn all about the painful parts of our history, feel it deeply as your own history, process it and let it sink in, cry about it if you need to (you probably will unless you don't really cry like that, but even i dont cry like that and i cried over many things in our history). But also learn the joyful parts of our history and feel that pride. cry over that too (again I dont even cry often but do cry over black excellence)
the more you're comitting to being black 24/7 the less fraudulent you'll feel. it's a lot easier than it sounds.
and it sounds harsh, but if you're unable to accept that you'll experience the struggle and be unable to switch back to a nonblack identity when convenient, it just isn't the right path for you. it'll take time to get used to but you have to.
3. prioritize black stories
black sitcoms, black authors, black musicians, I literally only engage with black stories. that's how it became the default in my mind (which made me unable to see myself as nonblack)
also, when you start seeking out black stories that aren't centered around white people or antiblack stereotypes, you not only understand more, you also realize the frustration around representation.
you don't have to be entirely racially represented in everything you consume, but seek out the good representation. it's so important.
4. live your life how YOU want
there's stigma around ethnicity changes, but if it'll genuinely make you feel happy and more like yourself (as it did for me) then it's definitely worth it. and, for what it's worth, the mindset of loving being black so much that you'd choose it in every lifetime has helped me a lot. it's a mindset many black people who are problack hold and it's a mindset I too adopted. and for whatever it's worth, I saw a black man say on tiktok one time that if he wasn't born black he would be rcta to be black. lol. but that was my situation (more or less) and is definitely someone else's, so to hear it be said was very comforting. you're not a nonblack person appropriating the culture, you're a black person who's reality is playing tricks on you. how weird. stop accepting the old story as the truth. it's okay to love and embrace being black no matter what the old story said.
it's normal!! I find that the best ways to combat it are
- giving back to the community, even if all you have to give is love and positive energy (BUT supporting black businesses and being more conscious of where you spend money is also important, we're boycotting target if u didn't know)
- figuring out why exactly you feel that way and deconstructing it
- sitting down and listening to videos/podcasts/tiktoks by black people or black loved ones talking about the struggle (don't force anybody to talk to you about it but if you have a close loved one who you can talk to about it then take that opportunity, it's nobody's responsibility to teach you but many people are more than happy to share)
- remembering that your personal journey doesn't make you any less black. there will be black people who disagree with that but there's also many who agree. and the diaspora can NEVER agree on anything, even within different ethnicities there's lots of discourse, so don't take any one opinion as truth. try to understand all sides of the story and then form your own opinions. plus, as long as you don't give up you will definitely reach a point where there is literally no difference between you and a black person, physically and mentally. how quickly it happens depends on how much you learn and how quickly you change your self image. so like... you're literally black either way.
I really hope this helped and if anyone would like to add anything please do.
tysm to @trans-japanese for requesting this for a friend, I can't believe I didn't share these tips earlier!!
I'm tryna get into the habit of longer form content again because it's so fulfilling to me so get excited for more stuff like this on ethnicity revision, black girlhood, beauty, lifestyle, manifestation, all those lil things 🫶🏼 okay tysm for reading, love y'all
