WarriorCandies

“...the pro has learned that the Goddess prizes labor and dedication beyond any theatrical seeking of her favors.The professional does not wait for inspiration, he acts in anticipation of it.” ----Steven Pressfield in Turning Pro.

So. Hustle-culture is kind of annoying, right? I can’t be the only person that feels this way. You have your entrepreneur bros and life coach style youtubers, and you keep watching them even though you also find them grating and obtuse. However, there are nuggets in there-- nuggets that keep you watching. Deep down, there might be a hint of truth to what they say. One of these, though I am loath to admit it at the moment: You should not await motivation to do your work. 

Listen, I hate this one. I hear it a lot, and honestly, I hate it all the more because it is true. Whether we are waiting for the muse to strike, or we are tired from our day job and want to just relax for a goddamned moment like you see other people do, it remains pretty true. You have to make some kind of mark on some kind of paper/ or digital device. You have to write however many words on the page. You have to at least try something. I have started telling myself to at least try to draw for 15 minutes a day, even if it is total shit (not necessarily all at once either). After months of this, moving at a glacier-like pace, I finally regained my daily drawing habit! 

Until I tried this, I was convinced that I just needed to make myself love what I was doing, that I just needed to fall in love with my characters again. However, it was by forcing myself to draw that I eventually got into the drawing so much that I began looking forward to it! Once you start, you kind of want to see what it looks like completed. Even when you dislike it, it tends to lead you towards a new idea for a new design. So, keep at it! And don’t forget: this is kindness-- do not beat yourself up when you fall short. Art is a gift as much to yourself as it is to others. Sitting down to do the work is self love. 

So, I have officially embarked (or re-embarked) on my webcomic journey. I posted the prelude ep to WEBTOON, a couple of weeks ago, and plan on updating it this week! Though I am already a little behind (larger update/brother’s birthday), I am really excited about it. Even so, I have already been dealing with this thing--- the same thing that has been an issue for me since college, and I have decided to dub it: The Pendulum. 

We all know it, really, this isn’t special to me by any means. The Pendulum is your brain. It is the ebb and flow, from love to hate, excitement to disappointment. You come up with a really fun idea-- the high. You are drawing and it is not matching that picture in your mind--the low. This is natural, and happens often as it is part of the process of making art. However, after art school, this developed into creative debilitation. The early stages of this had actually been recognized by one of my drawing instructors. He said something like, “I notice these tiny marks here, you are hesitating. Try to make a full line before lifting your hand”. It took me a while to realize the cause; learning how to analyze art had begun to cripple my ability to make any. It was stopping my hand. After graduation, the hesitation in my hand became a hesitation to draw at all.

So, the Pendulum stayed in one place, on the side that had all of the doubt, the fear of being seen, and the fear of being judged as terrible. There lies the danger as a creative; you can not allow yourself to get stuck in the doubt of your ability or originality. I realize now that you have to develop trust that with time, skill will build on itself and even if things don’t come out as you plan, they will still be remarkable. I am still learning this: posting my art online and having people look at it and give me feedback has helped a lot. I think that this might be the key. To get that pendulum to start swinging, you must SHOW YOUR WORK.

A Bit of Self-Consciousness About Tone

This weekend my boyfriend and I rewatched Deadpool 2 and it really got me mulling over how important tone is to how the audience experiences the story. It’s a really tricky biscuit! I am often most deeply moved by the stories that can move from earnest tragedy to silly humor and back again. For instance, although I enjoy the sequel to Deadpool, I was not at all moved by a pivotal death in the beginning of the movie, not because I wasn’t invested in the character that died, but because the tone of the movie is so sarcastic and irreverent about death that it is hard to feel it in any sincerity. Because it’s a comedy, ultimately, that really is okay.

As I write my own scenes, though, I feel the familiar push and pull between having something treated as “cool action” or “dumb fun” and wanting moments to have an impact on the reader.

1. Do a simple drawing to post to ig.

2. Consider design prompts for a beer label for your portfolio.

3. Read a really fun novel.

4. Contemplate doing fan art for said novel, even though you vowed not to do anymore fanart.

5. Contemplate the impermanence of your mark on the world.

Isn’t it weird how the closer you get to doing something you wanted to do, you find ways to not do it?! I am posting the first bit of this comic next week, but my mind doesn’t seem to want to cooperate with me. Procrastination is so strange-- and for me, it often masquerades as other equally “important” tasks!

So, I know they say this place is dead, but fuck it, I’m blogging here anyway!!! I’ve decided starting now, this will serve as my webcomic diary. Hopefully, it’s interesting enough for whoever ends up over here.