lore's basement

Do you ever think about soulmates?

the topic of high-functioning depression is such a sensitive and important topic for me.

i've had MDD for the past four years, and i went through the first year and half unmedicated.

the high-functioning part of my depression is why no one saw what i was going through.

i graduated salutatorian of my 8th grade class while simultaneously having panic attacks, anxiety attacks, suicidal ideations, and more. everyone saw my success, but no one could see how badly i wanted to kms.

for me, my body physically could not show depressive symptoms around other people. it was reaction formation--a defense mechanism is which someone acts the complete opposite of how they feel.

for some people, and for me, we can't turn it off. it turns on without permission.

high-functioning depression is why we see so many academically successful people kill/harm themselves--we only see their successes.

that's why more people being aware of depressive symptoms and taking each sign seriously can save a life.

i'm not sure how i did it, but i'm still here today. if you are physically or mentally unable to reach out to people around you, please call 988.

988 and support groups helped me so much. it was much easier for me to voice my problems/pain to strangers rather than to people in my life.

reach out to someone. someone will listen. make yourself heard.

AMELIA SHEPHERD in Grey's Anatomy 22.18

Ziva on "NCIS: Tony & Ziva":

tali not referring to tony and ziva as "abba" or "ima" really throw me off too. her first two years with ziva, tali spoke hebrew only. i would think that hebrew would be her first language, therefore she would use "ima" or "abba."

"Listen, you should know I've taken some kind of truth serum, so if there's any questions that you don't want to know the answer to..."

"Don't let anyone tell you you can't." - Joyce Berrardi

Berrardi is both a writer and certified surgical technologist. She wrote a children's book, I Can Be a Surgical Technologist, because she grew up not seeing books like that. She also studied anatomy and biology extensively before becoming a surgical tech.

Even before that, she was rejected by two schools. They didn't think she had what it took to pursue her studies. After becoming a certified surgical tech, she called them back to let them know that she did have what it took, and she did it successfully. Despite being shot down, she kept going.

here's a link to her book!

"Keep writing." - Mike Delucia

Delucia is a writer and poet who has authored multiple books. He wasn't sure of what to study in college or what to pursue as a career, but he always loved writing. His books have been produced into screenplays.

here's a link to all of his books!

"It's okay to be the first." - Vic

Vic is the security guard at my high school, but before that, he was a police officer and detective for the NYPD. He was a first responder during 9/11. He was the first police officer in his family.

"I miss it, but I don't regret it." - Vic

Vic expressed how he misses being a detective, but he doesn't regret retiring. For him, retiring was his way of honoring his mother--she was excited for the day he would retire from the NYPD. Vic made me understand that you will do different things in your life, and it's okay to miss those parts.

"Make the best of it. It's what you make of it." - Vic