Chaotic Poetry

No matter how hard i try, if i force myself to be with someone, if i'm friends with someone. The only person i will have for my own is my own self.

That's terrifying me more than anything in the world.

People treat love like the pinnacle of all joy and life. I can't break the spell on my mind that says this will happen. That's what i was made to believe since i was younger than i could think.

Everyone still thinks i'll be normal.

But i will be alone, every relationship, every truth remains the same.

Through all the smoke in my lungs and all the pain i have sought out, i am one with the dull and lonely.

I cannot reach for that sword again, as it cuts away the one thing i have always known.

It's unfamiliar.

Yeah, that shit hurts the most.

Like, fuck around as in you only live once. Fuck around as in might kill me, dope. Fuck around like trying out fishing. Fuck around as in might just dissapear, fake my death.

The second thought says: "Fuck you, you've got both, it's impossible not to be loved by anyone or anything, just as it's impossible not to love anyone or anything. You can't escape the foundation of life, no matter how many times you deny it."

It makes them feel like rebels, maybe childish but they still have status.

All of the status and not an ounce of respect for it.

Just slightly rebellious.