can't see what i am, i just see what i'm not

“I plant roots so deeply in the people I love that I always lose a piece of myself when they go.”

“If she buys drinks for your friends at the bar, it’s not because she likes your friends, it’s because she likes you. If she watches football with you all Sunday long, it’s not because she likes sports, it’s because she likes you. If she volunteers to DD for you and your friends, it’s not because she doesn’t like drinking, it’s because she likes you. If she goes to the gym with you it’s not because she likes working out, it’s because she likes you. If she invites you over because she made your favorite food, it’s not because she likes cooking or because she likes steak, it’s because she likes you. And don’t get me wrong, she might actually like some or all of those things but that’s not why she does them. She does them because she likes you.”

“Nothing lasts, you see, not even the thoughts inside you. And you mustn’t waste your time looking for them. Once a thing is gone, that is the end of it.”

“There are many things I don’t know, but quite a few I do. I know you can’t be lost if you know where you are. I know that life is full of precious and fragile things, and not all of them are pretty. I know that the sun follows the moon and makes days, one after another. Time passes. The world turns, and we turn with it, and though we can never go back to the beginning, sometimes, we can start again.”

“I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough.”

“I’m caught between trying to live my life, and trying to run from it.”

“I hope you get the chance to meet someone at a bar that makes you want to stay out until 3am on a Wednesday. I hope that same girl laughs at your stupid jokes and will go to sci-fi movies with you. I hope you one day have coworkers that value your opinions and make you excited to go to work in the morning and leave drawings on your desk. I hope that one Christmas morning you get to see the look on your daughters face when you surprise her with a puppy. I hope you have sons that look just like you and appreciate spending time with you because I know you’ll be at every soccer game. I hope you can go to sleep easily knowing that people love you and your efforts are worth it. I really just hope that one day you’re genuinely, seriously happy and you forget about everything that ever hurt you, including me.”

“I believe in the person I want to become.”

“I thought you were a good person but you messed up and you used me and you still don’t remember when my birthday is and you never even knew my middle name. And you tricked me into thinking you wanted the same things as me and you acted like you cared about what I was doing on the weekends and how my sister’s classes were but I don’t think you really cared about anything at all. And there’s a lot I should have said to you but the only thing I want you to know now is that none of that was okay but I am.”