Put Your Hand Inside the Puppet Head

travelling back to the paleolithic era to explain to a neanderthal that in the future there will be food that is simultaneously disgusting and also the best tasting food you've ever eaten. the neanderthal nods and says "oh yeah we have that" and leads me to a clearing in the woods where a perfectly normal mcdonalds sits.

Look outBig tooth cat in play place

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

If you become friends with someone they might offer you shelter or sources of protein

I feel like not enough people realize that people under enormous strain act really really fucking Weird

earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that

suddenly the fucking

they must've opened the fridge

some days are really hard and it can be difficult to understand why. but usually its probably because my blood is haunted

When life gives you lemons be like “wow this fic is really old”