Procrastinating Writer

anybody out there hiring gay losers. ideally a 100k/year salary and i work for one hour every day when i feel like it. thanks

Trainee grumbles that this is stupid when the first set of tasks is just cleaning the dojo. Within two minutes he reaches for the dustpan and knocks the edge of his pinky nail against it in a way he's never noticed before. He's staring at the baby blue smudge and suddenly he understands things differently.

There's a montage of days passing as he fetches water, chops wood, hoes crops, washes clothes. His nails are a different color during each cut. He's sprinting up the mountain with a fresh wet pedicure and the master is nodding in approval. The master's nails are flawless tech art.

human diplomat who has to be briefed on “stop fucking trying to pet everything. yes a lot of the people you’re interacting with have very soft fur and quite a lot of them do like being scritched but you can’t just do it and frankly it’s bad conduct during a peace meeting”

blackmail game would be insane

I've always liked the idea of a sci-fi setting not making humans the average species, and instead, they are animal tamers. A rarity for species to adopt and keep pets. Which makes human ships especially hard for other species since they have to deal with hyper lethal predators walking around, while the humans do a dumb baby voice constantly.

fuck this time loop im leaving (walks into a different, worse time loop)

Getting a new job

Way worse is that you have an unskippable cut scene after the crafting mini game, every time, called "doing the dishes." You can avoid it for a while by exiting the kitchen but the longer you wait the longer the cutscene is.

I think I’m literally never gonna be sick of this masterpiece. I think watching it on a loop for eight hours could fix me. Dancing’s what clears my soul. Dancing’s what makes me whole.

I just love that this very video is an accumulation of thousands of years worth of art made by people who have never met each other. The concept of this video was so completely unfathomable to every single artist who made the sculptures and yet they’ve all put something toward the creation of it.

what if i *remembers that making suicide jokes is not conducive with my goal of improving the wellbeing of myself and everyone around me* transform into an oyster

Ok yeah that lake is superior

hey, don't cry. one cup heavy whipping cream, two tablespoons granulated sugar, three tablespoons cocoa powder and whisk until stiff peaks form for three ingredient chocolate mousse, okay?