DEADBEAT.

JUST? He’s almost offended. He generally prefers to keep his deals VAGUE, people agree to them more easily, and he can always shift the terms around a bit if things don’t head down the channel he’s predicted them to. 

                     Which happens annoyingly often when he’s around the Pines. 

“ Hey, for all you know that favor could be an internal ORGAN, ” he laughs, hands propped on either side of him, raising his brow, “ But hey, you wanna put some serious risks? How about we put some LIVES on the line? Metaphorically speaking, of course– if I win, you get me something from your brothers lab– ” he snaps his fingers, revealing the rift containment, “ It’s not really anything he’ll miss, but, it’s got SENTIMENTAL value. And you don’t tell anyone about our little deal, no matter WHAT happens, go it?”

[Huh -- Stan had assumed that a bonafide demon would be a bit more...risky, but here he was, insisting that his favor would require the theft of some petty little snow globe gadget held in his brother’s lab. Talk about a let-down...]

[Of course, if Stanley was capable of grasping the magnitude of the entire issue, he’d outright refuse. From his perspective, thanks to his brother withholding secrets from him, the object in question appeared as though it was nothing more than a minuscule snow globe with a space-y design. Granted, just about anything within his brother’s laboratory was practically guaranteed to be hazardous in some form, but even Bill had insisted that it was merely an object of sentimental value.]

[Frankly...in a sense, Ford had “robbed” Stanley of the future he’d always dreamed of, and Stan was perfectly capable of snatching something while his brother was distracted. What would be the harm in a bit of larceny? It might even be fun.]

She raised her eyebrows, honestly quite surprised that he believed her.  She straightened up a little bit and even offered a small gap-toothed smile.  She knew fairlu little about this boy or his twin brother other than the facts that they were twins, they lived above a pawn shop that she walked by almost every day to go to school, and that the other one had six fingers on each hand instead of five.  A lot of kids teased him for it but that didn;t make a ton of sense to her.  She herself thought it was pretty nifty.  She also knew that Stanley was a bit punchy which frankly, she admired as a fellow punchy kind of kid.

“You would hafta be pretty dumb to think witches are real.  Beleive me, if I had powers I’d be using them like, all the time.”  She pointed a finger as if using a wand, “I’d turn the teacher into a toad and make the school lunches into actual food.”

She was opening up for the first time, which was a little scary for her but there was something about this boy that she liked- or at least didn’t mind.  First of all, he’d never done anything wrong to herl ike pulled her hair or pushed her down so that was a plus.  Plus, he’d pulled his fair share of jokes and pranks at the expense of the teacher, all of which were quite funny.  

“I dunno how I feel about ghosts but I’m pretty sure there aren’t none in my house.  Just a lot of dust and maybe some mice… Your brother’s kind of a smart guy so I bet he’ll be able to find something and even if he doesn’t my house is pretty big so it’s a good place to do stuf like play hide and seek.”  Not that she’d know, she’d never actually played the game before.

She puffs out her cheeks at the last statement about him not knowing who the gossip was.  She’d been trying to figure out who started the rumor for all year but her search was not fruitful since no one ever talked to her.

“If I ever find out who keeps tellin’ people lies about me I’ll knock em’ silly.”  She throws a few pucnhes, “M’ sick of gettin’ messed with…”  She shook herself of her anger and smiled again.  “But- Uh- Yeah!  You guys can come over if you wanna.  Like I said, my dad works a lot so he’s never home anyway…I’m free…Whenever so you can just come by.  As long as you dont see a big black car in the driveway, it’s all clear.”

[Witnessing Aggie actually smiling only served to cheer Stan on -- not only that, but her grin was also gap-toothed! Maybe that coincidence wouldn’t feel like much to any other kid, but it was another minuscule sign in Stanley’s eyes that she was a kindred spirit. Nonetheless, her comment about how she’d utilize her witchcraft in everyday life to turn the teachers into toads and turn the lunches into actual food elicited a bout of laughter from Stanley, who was thoroughly impressed with her comedic talents already. This particular apple fell FAR from the tree.]

Haha! I think we’d all feel better eatin’ somethin’ that ain’t  just trash dressed up all nice for our tummies! I never knew you had such a neat sense o’ humor. And hey, if I had some witch-y powers, I think I’d get rid o’ school altogether! Plus, I could get revenge on all the bullies! Punching ‘em all is one thing, but we could get real creative with some magic on our hands.

[Granted, however, his usual resort to physical violence being overpowered by black magic would be a bit disconcerting. Not because of the existence of magic or anything, but because it might allow him to lose the only true advantage he had in life: his fists. Stanley didn’t have his brother’s gifted mind, and his only defense against the jerks in their lives were his knuckles. Good thing magic wasn’t real.]

[Nonetheless, he lightened up upon hearing of the existence  of small critters in their household ( ironically, Lee perked up more at the mention of mice than at the mention of ghosts ); like any other kid his age, he had a fascination with even the most “disgusting” creatures. Mice had a deplorable reputation, anyway -- and they didn’t deserve any of the contempt or fear they received. Beyond that, of course, Aggie also implied that her house would be ideal for hide-and-seek; imagine just how thrilled Ford would be to play that game in a “haunted” house! Maybe he’d even wind up scaring himself to the point that he couldn’t handle being inside -- not only would that be hilarious, but Stanford had actually managed that before. Regardless of his obsession with the “spookiest” of creatures, he could easily lose his brevity and become terrified.]

Really!? Hey, I know we prolly won’t find any ghosts, but I call playin’ with the mice if I catch any! Plus, hide n’ seek is always fun! And Ford’s gonna be so excited to play in a house that he thinks is full o’ ghosts! [Or petrified. Either way, it’d be amusing. Stanley’s following bout of snickers ceased upon hearing her scheme for vengeance; although he hadn’t personally heard anything incriminating, he had a perfect candidate in mind for the likely culprit spreading unsavory rumors.]

Hey, y’know what I think? It’s prolly that no-good Crampelter! He’s the guy who’s always pickin’ on me and my brother. He’s a real meanie! Plus, he’s definitely ‘nough of a dummy to think witches are real. [With a confident smirk, Lee nodded, positive that his theory was correct. Then, after a brief pause, Stanley decided to provide Aggie with another reassurance.] But, from here on out, if I catch anybody talkin’ bad about ya, I’ll go and sock ‘em for ya, too! We’ll be able to take down twice as many bullies that way!

"$9.25 for a bar of soap!?"

"Oh my gosh, _____, now look what you did!"

"Babies. You're better off raising tomatoes!"

"A book? What do you want a book for?"

"Why would you wanna read when you've got the television set sitting right in front of you?"

"There's nothing you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster."

"_____, you're a crook!"

"This is illegal!"

"I'm smart, you're dumb. I'm big, you're little. I'm right, you're wrong. And there's nothing you can do about it!"

"Are you being smart with me?"

"When a person is bad, that person has to be taught a lesson."

"I didn't do it."

"They're all mistakes, children. Filthy, nasty things. Glad I never was one."

"Do I allow pigs in my school?"

"Your mommy...is a TWIT!"

"You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you?"

"When I'm finished with you, you're gonna look like road kill!"

"Some rats are gonna die today!"

"Hey, dipface! Where are you going?"

"WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED!?"

"I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me."

"My idea of a perfect school is one where there are no children at all."

“Huh?”

She was used to sitting quietly by herself on the playground, content ot just watch the other kids as they ran around having fun.  Few kids spoke to her and when they did they rarely had anything nice to say.  She kept to herslef.  That was just how it was.  Her only company was a little gray cat back at her house, and that was that.  The little girl never tried to make any friends because she simply had no idea how.  So she’d sit, watch students and say very little unless she absolutely had to.  So having someone in her class approach her was a bit of a shock.  She expected insults, maybe some sort of invitation to fight.  But no. the boy simply stood in front of her and spoke.  The question was expected.  She’d been getting the ‘witch’ thing as long as she’d been in school.

Aggie was a quiet girl who didn’t say much or do much in school, so kids only knew her by her face and by her background.  The skinny girl dressed only in dark colors and lived in a dreary loney house in a forested area of town.  Her father was a doctor, and a feared one at that.  So, the isolation was to be expected.  She should be ready for it, and yet this boy had the gaul to come up and ask her. He didn’t spit it in her face, he asked.  She knew the boysn ame- and that he had a twin brother.  They sat a few rows in front of her, but she knew little else.  She’d been in detetnion a number of times with the boy in front of her but she never spoke to him.  She admired his boldness and she thought he was funny, not that it ever showed.  Aggie never showed anyone how she felt about anything.  That usually got her in trouble.

Normally, she’d get red faced and angry and she’d shove whoever was too close to her but she didn’t feel the need to do that.  It wasn;t an insult from him.  It was a question.  No one ever bothered to ask her.

“I’m not a witch.  Everyone keeps saying I am but I swear I’m not.”

This is probably the most anyone has ever heard her speak, teachers included.

“If my house is haunted it must not be very haunted cuz’ I’ve never seen a ghost in there before, never in my whole life.  But I spose it is pretty scary if yer not used to it.”  She swings her legs on the bech a little, “My father wouldn’t like it, but he works all night so I spose he wouldn’t mind if ya came looking, as long as you don’t touch nothin.”  She knew that was a lot to ask.  Stanley, the twin in front of her was a known trouble maker.  She didn’t actually care about her father’s rules, she just wanted to seem a little more professional than she felt. 

“…Who told you I’m a witch, anyway?  Cuz’ I’m not, really.”

[Frankly, despite Stanley’s allusion to the “witch” theory, he personally didn’t believe a word of it. Even his brother, who insisted on the existence of ghouls and monsters in spite of Lee’s ever-present skepticism, doubted the harsh gossip -- this operation would be their likely official debunking of the unwarranted rumors. Not that anybody would listen to them defend the poor girl, but Stanley would be willing to throw a punch or two to stop them!]

[After all, his personal feelings on this entire matter matched how he felt about his and his brother’s situations -- they had been unjustly outcasted from their peers because of Ford’s anomalous fingers ( though, Lee’s relentless defense of his brother to the point of violence certainly didn’t help ). Since someone else undergoing the same adversity was attending their same school, Stanley felt obliged to assist. Even if Ford was primarily involving himself for the sake of trying to prove that paranormal phenomenon existed, Lee realized that he’d probably been fueled by an identical sort of intent.]

[When she finally spoke ( which Stanley himself was almost startled by, since he’d never heard her voice before ), she’d almost immediately started denying the claims about her -- and Lee, of course, believed her wholeheartedly. Without a hint of cynicism, he responded, upholding that her alleged nature as a witch didn’t matter here.]

Hey, no worries! Me and my brother pretty much figured that out already. I mean, you’d have to be a real dummy to really think witches exist in the first place, right?

[Stanley nodded as she claimed there were no ghosts in her home -- he personally already assumed the same thing, but Ford couldn’t resist any opportunity to search a supposedly haunted building. Even the caves they occasionally perused were his brother’s targets as potentially haunted spots, even though they’d never once encountered a spooky occurrence within them. The brunet’s grin widened, however, once she eventually gave them permission to explore the house -- his enthusiasm was primarily because he’d be able to give Ford some good news, despite his rather awkward introduction to Aggie.]

[Of course, there was the sole condition that they be careful while they were inside -- but as difficult as that would be for Stanley, he was convinced that he couldn’t screw it up too badly. That might’ve just been false confidence, though --  he was a natural troublemaker. Avoiding those impulses to touch just about anything that piqued his interest would be excessively difficult for him.]

I actually don’t really believe in ghosts, y’know? But Ford’s all ghost-crazy. Heck, he thinks just about every place’s got somethin’ spooky in it! We prolly won’t find anything, but it’ll be fun, I think! Oh, and I promise I ain’t gonna mess stuff up over there. I’ll be real careful.

[Hoping that he made a decent enough impression for her to actually allow him and his brother into her house, he listened as she inquired about who “told” him about the rumor that she was a witch -- and to tell the truth, it was nobody. Anyone who listened in on the kids in the hallways would hear about Aggie, the “witch.” Offering a shrug, Lee provided her with the best response he could muster.]

▽△▲ Bill isn’t really known for his experience in PHYSICAL altercations; but that doesn’t mean he didn’t have QUITE a history of real life decimation. On top of that, the world they were in wasn’t entirely physical either, so he already had a nice advantage. 

“ It’s my NATIVE TONGUE, Fez! ”

What’s a risk to a being beyond consequences?    Rules?             Morals?                       Fully functioning thought processes?      FUN. 

Not that he was really in any danger of LOSING of course, and while that took the surprise out of playing the game, it didn’t make it any less enjoyable.

“ How about this; if you win I leave you and your little family alone until the END of summer; if I win— YOU OWE ME A FAVOR, deal?”

JUST a favor?

[Sure, Stanley recognized that he shouldn’t actually trust this triangle more than he could throw him ( which actually wasn’t that good of a metaphor, considering the frail appearance of this omnipotent weirdo ), but a mere favor didn’t sound like a big deal to him. His “probable” victory wouldn’t taste as sweet without a major risk involved -- at least, in his eyes. Stan was truly tempting the fates here...what an idiot.]

Them’s some lowly stakes there, Cipher -- my winnin’s would be way better than yours, don’t ya think? You’re so confident you’re gonna win, so why not even the stakes, huh?

     At the mention of the burn that the heat vent  in his lab had left, Stanford felt his digits begin  to curl into themselves. It was tempted-  very, very tempting- to sock Stanley right in the jaw  once again. It wasn’t HIS fault! And it damn sure wouldn’t  have happened if his twin hadn’t tried to destroy his work.  He wouldn’t have fallen into a hell dimension, either. But if  the old man let himself think about that, he definitely would’ve punched Stanley again. 

Instead, he mimicked his brother’s actions and took a deep breath,  and then another, and another. Slowly, his white knuckled fist began to relax.  He was a man of science, not violence.  Well, most of the time, anyway.  Silently, he weighed his options.  Either give in to Stanley’s irritating persistence, or let his temper get the best of him yet again.  He certainly knew what their father would do. 

A sigh came from the old man and he shrugged his shoulders,  carefully reaching up to remove his coat. 

“Fine.  Let’s just get this over with.” 

[Admittedly, Stanley tensed up slightly upon witnessing his brother’s hand ball itself into a fist -- on any other occasion, it implied that he was about to earn himself a slugging, but his brother somehow managed to keep his temper in check this time around. Frankly, if Ford had actually acted instead of hesitating, Stan wasn’t certain whether he’d even bother fighting back. Given that he was normally easily provoked, that sort of attitude merely served as an indication that he was sick of contending with his brother -- but then again,  the fact that he never pummeled Ford with his trusty “left hook” was just as much of a hint.]

[Nonetheless, there was a rare moment of silence between them -- although, for Stanley, it was more like an impatient wait for his brother to force himself to settle down. Utilizing crossed arms and an irked glare to convey his restlessness along the way, he only loosened up when his brother made the shocking move to cave in and allow Lee to assist.]

[Taking his brother’s coat off his hands and hanging it on a nearby chair, Stanley began examining the wound; it didn’t appear as though it’d be too difficult to take care of, but you never knew with Ford. This wound might’ve been the result of some nasty chemicals or something, in which case, they might need to consult an actual professional.]

Hmph. See, that wasn’t so hard, was it? [Stan, of course, couldn’t resist rubbing in the true simplicity of the decision to let him take a look, being the stubborn jackass he was.] So, how’d you get this thing? Takin’ care of burns depends on the cause. I’m sure ya already knew that, though...