I created a 24-colonist Fire Emblem: Three Houses Medieval Eugenics Soap Opera in RimWorld #2
According to my custom scenario, something happened in Fódlan right before Edelgard could start the war, so Rhea teleported the students to another world. That’s how the members of the Black Eagles, Blue Lions, and Golden Deer ended up in RimWorld. After all 24 of my pawns landed in the Dark Forest, New Fódlan was born.
Now, you might think, "You have 24 pawns, what do you even have to fear from raids?" Well, every single one of these goofs had a ridiculous market value (Hilda alone was worth 3,000 silver at the start). Because of this, my colony’s wealth shot through the roof on day one, meaning raids came in strong and heavy right off the bat.
To make matters worse, I was running Dubs Bad Hygiene (a simplified version, but still). The pawns actually needed to bathe and use the bathroom. Picture 24 colonists crammed into what was essentially a giant wooden shack that doubled as a bedroom (24 sleeping spots), a warehouse, a workshop, and a kitchen. Thankfully, I at least built the toilet in a separate room. Mental breaks were a daily event. They were sleep-deprived, starving, arguing over stupid nonsense, lacking resources, wearing tattered clothes, covered in dirt, getting bitten by bugs, and Felix was beating people up left and right... While these poor souls were suffering just trying to gather raw materials, I was busy planning out the village layout.
A hilarious bug: Ingrid was constantly freezing and catching hypothermia. I had to manually remove it via Character Editor, but it just kept coming back. Even after I gave her a heavy parka, she was still freezing to death. I checked her stat modifiers and realized her comfortable temperature range was set to +75°C to +625°C. Turns out it was broken math from the Crest of Daphnel. We quickly fixed that little oversight.
Anything that moved on the map was immediately hunted down and eaten. However, we needed a way to preserve the extra meat—remember, we had no electricity, summer was coming, and we couldn’t afford to let food rot. Medieval Overhaul (MO) has a meat drying rack that turns raw meat (2-day shelf life) into dried meat (2-year shelf life). But I had to manually restrict their diets so they wouldn't eat raw meat the second it was butchered. I also planted a massive field of rice and a small plot of potatoes, forbidding them from eating those raw too. In fact, I banned raw food entirely, except for berries. There were plenty of berries thanks to the biome, and we harvested herbs as well.
Additionally, there were two hornet hives on the map. They spawned hornet honey (an expensive drug) and insect jelly (edible), but if a pawn stepped too close, those flying pests would attack and bite. So yeah, we ate insect meat. We also raided hostile camps, taking everything that wasn't nailed down: food, leather, and supplies. Everything goes back to base!
Quests were constantly popping up: "clear out this bandit camp" or "craft this and bring it to us." If the reward was good (like legendary medicine, high-tier weapons, mithril, or runic cloth), we took it. I mean, what else were we supposed to do?
Medieval Overhaul has its own research tree, and certain tech could only be unlocked after finding specific blueprints. Where do you get them? Buy them from caravans or go plunder libraries. So, we regularly went on library-robbing road trips to loot books, which we could also sell for a nice profit.
Now, I'm the type of player who gets deeply attached to my pawns. If I lost anyone in a raid, I’d reload and try again to minimize casualties. Surprisingly, we handled diseases (malaria, flu, plague) fairly well, even though our only medicine was herbal plantain. Strangely enough, Marianne got sick the most because I gave her a weak immune system. Remember this fact. It will become important later in the story.
Winter was coming fast, which meant we urgently needed to sew parkas. Bernie couldn't handle the workload alone (and kept having mental breakdowns), so I forced Hilda to sew. Can you imagine the look on Hilda's face?
Relationships started forming, and couples naturally wanted double beds. We couldn't afford to build those for a long time, though. And considering I had the Intimacy mod installed... well, they didn't strictly need a bed, but things got pretty wild pretty fast. Still, I tried to rush a proper dining hall and individual houses as fast as I could.
Now, let's talk about the romance drama:
The first weird couple in the colony was Sylvain and Edelgard. Talk about "I see my goal, I see no obstacles." Pretty sure Dimitri stopped considering Sylvain a friend after that.
Dorothea started flirting with Hubert.
But Claude was the absolute king of chaos. First, he hooked up with Caspar, but Caspar dumped him for Raphael.
Claude, bitter about the betrayal, stole Lorenz from Linhardt.
But Claude wasn't done there—he then dumped Lorenz and stole Edelgard from Sylvain... while they were actively preparing for their freaking wedding!
It looked like we were witnessing a grand political alliance between the Alliance and the Empire—a peak diplomatic power move—until Hubert (who had previously been dumped by Dorothea for Lorenz) swooped in and stole Edelgard for himself!
Claude was shocked. I was shocked. Everyone was shocked. But Claude didn't give up: he went and stole Dorothea from Lorenz!
Can you hear Lorenz screaming in the background? Because I definitely can.
Meanwhile, Marianne, whatever malaria you've got going on, hold on a second—I've got way more important drama to deal with right now!
Oh, and there was also a move by Mercedes, who briefly stole Hubert from Edelgard, but Hubert eventually came to his senses and went back to Edelgard. Couples were popping up like mushrooms.
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