Feeling like El muchacho rn

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

YES OMG BRÜNNHILDE

official library post

this is the vibe i bring to the party actually

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

Having seen some births now i can say that dog birth is amazing cos they just slip n slide out one after the other like a little conveyor belt. And theyre so little and unformed. And then UNGULATE BIRTHS ... are amazing for the opposite reason which is that 10mins after being born they are filing their taxes. Unless they are goats, in which case they are committing tax fraud instead

Goats are what is called a precocial species, which means that shortly after birth they are able to do many thimgs on their own, such as standing, walking, eating, and embezzlement

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

Lady in drive through had a bearded dragon sitting on her boobs and she held it up and let me pet it. killing myself canceled

Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?