Voi

i feel like we don’t delve into the actual impacts fucking odelath had on gillion.

it’s gillion’s first day of training and he can already hear the whispers as he walks down the halls “chosen one”, “saviour”. he finds this hard to believe because how can he save the world when he is too weak to even lift the sword the elders gave him and his armour is too big it’s giving him blisters.

he stands in front the elders, trying so hard not to shake but the face in the centre seems to calm him.

the elder of knowledge and wisdom, his face seems familiar, in a way that feels…. safe. Elder Odelath stares back at him with eyes that say “you are safe with me”

training continues, every day building callouses and scars, gillion learns the taste of blood, so metallic in his mouth.

however, the days seem to start to get blurry, his memories further and further out of reach, slowly becoming cloudy and then gone.

he knows there are things missing, chunks of days gone, all the knowledge taken with them.

Odelath is the constant. Gillion knows he is safe, he is kind, he shows him softness, turning up to most training sessions with a quiet praise and some concoction to help him recover.

over the years of training more and more is taken from him, all he knows is to swing a sword and protect this oath.

“short and stupid juice”. a juvenile term for something that explains so much. all those gaps, the way all those memories had fallen away like sand in his palms.

he had been set up to fail, meant to be broken over and over again, expected to break.

It's meant to be tragic. That even after all that she realized she wanted to change as her last words and thoughts. She didn't want to go.

But also it's about breaking and entering into sea world and making a janitor think you killed your best friend so you can escape, it's about gaslighting your coworkers into thinking you are the dumbest man alive, it's about only closing a mystery when it's as funnt as possible and making sure everyone else around you is as baffled as possible. It's about childhood and nostalgia and growing up in the most chaotic way you can. It's about people being killed with a t-rex skull, it's about slapstick and committing to the bit and being the silliest messiest bisexual on tv in 2006-2014.

Shout out to that one tumblr post that was like: "You know it's not just trans people who ponder their gender, it's healthy for cis people to take a look inside and be like! Yep that's all good!" And I read this post and was like.... like what do you look at inside though T O T??? I asked my boyfriend how he knew he was a boy and he said he just felt this unexplainable intrinsic feeling he was a boy... and I'm like... I HAVE GENUINELY NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT WTF 😭😭😭!!!!!!!! So apparently its like. Normal for people to feel this inexplicable 'Gender' feeling or whatever,,, I feel like how asexual people feel when they discover people around them aren't making up the fact they experience sexual arousal T O T

Obviously all my sciency stuff is just speculation! But I'm the type of person who believe that everything has a rationale behind it, and like an adopted child who is curious about their biological parents, I am just interested in my origins! The field of genetics still is mostly just like,,,, hmmm we think this whatever MIGHT be a contributing factor to a person turning out this way... maybe. If you are more interested in the topic I discussed, just look up 'Genetic Memories in Animals' and there should be some more stuff OuO!