Dr. Yell Heah

Genderfluid in a fetish way. Straight up a sex/power/aesthetic way. Give me a gender and now we are in a Dynamic. There are norms and rules and expectations that can be deviated from & that deviance is queerness. This is why asexuality is queer. The norms & rules & expectations don’t come from biology or innate essence or anything like that, upon which we’ve both already agreed. Gender is something you *do,* not something you *are*—yes yes, we’ve all read our Butler.

So what’s left is just power and aesthetics and sex. And those things are politics. And because the cishets have decided that your gender is in some way connected to your genitals, this is a fetish thing. It’s a reproductive control thing. It’s a power thing. This is why queerness must always be understood as deviance. This is why “queerplatonic” actually is kind of a good way to describe how even friendships between queer people have their own perversions. Here we are all doing genders with each other, or not doing genders with each other, and both choices are queer.

There is no assimilation for queerness that doesn’t immediately make it cease to be queer. We are deviants. We have to be deviants.

He’s been on T for six years and I just started. This is the first time he’s done something for that many years and is an expert at it and got to teach me how to do it. Last night I did my first injection with him over FaceTime (I was on gel before). God I love being trans, I love the way it opens up new ways to relate to all the people in my life, I love the things I get to have with my loved ones. Happy pride! FaceTime screenshot under the cut featuring needle look out