vivosunamela

The crew would have managed. Sure, it would have been hard to find a cook as good as him, but they would have managed. Zoro, though… he was this sturdy and safe boulder you could rely on. An anchor needed by the whole crew. Loyal to his death if he had to.

“Don’t you dare!”, Sanji hissed while burying his face in his hands, “Don’t you dare to die, you stupid, egoistic algae!”

Of course, Zoro hadn’t been egoistic. Sanji new that too well. After all he’d been the one Zoro had rescued first-hand just hours ago. But he was worried – so badly he even would admit it. And that exactly left him in such a freeze. He was unable to help; unable to watch; goddamnit, he even was unable to light up a fucking cigarette!

“Done!”, Chopper’s relieved voice broke the harsh silence, “I just need to clean him up and make sure he gets painkillers-”

“Wohooo!! ZOROOOO!!!”

“Shut up, Luffy! He needs rest!”

“Calm down, you two! I need to finish this up properly!”

Overwhelmed Sanji watched how Nami tried to keep Luffy away from Zoro, so that Chopper could finish his work. He fixated the swordsman’s chest that was rising and sinking – very slow and shaky, but steady. He had made it. He was still there. That stupid Marimo.

Sanji left out a tiny, hoarse displaced laughter. Then he got up on his wobbly legs and went to fetch the cigarettes and his lighter. It would take time for Zoro to wake up. And it would take time for Sanji to understand the mixed up feelings he had about this whole thing. But right now, all that mattered was that Zoro was alive. And therefore, Sanji could distract himself with other things.

“I’ll go cooking. We all need dinner.”

~.~.~.~.~.~

During the next days Sanji didn’t leave Zoro’s side. Not that he was occupying the seat next to his sickbed. But he was always around, serving drinks or meals, listening to Usopp’s stories or Brook’s music, helping Chopper change bandages or simply leaning on a wall in the background and taking a smoke.

Nighttime, though, was something different.

He had been able to convince Chopper and Robin that he was fine with taking over the night watches at Zoro’s side. He didn’t mind the little amount of sleep, since he was used to it anyways. It was the burden he carried as a cook.

Quietly he sat next to Zoro, watching him sleep while the moonlight was contouring his facial features, which normally were too soft for such a shithead and now ragged with freshly healing wounds. One cigarette after another found its ashy way towards the ceiling and still Sanji was waiting. Waiting for Zoro to finally wake up, so that he could give him a real telling-off. Or kiss and hug him to death. He hadn’t decided on that part yet.

Sanji was just about to roll another cigarette (the packs he had bought back in Water 7 were long finished up) when Zoro moved. Startled Sanji dropped his rolling paper and scattered tobacco all across Zoro’s bed sheets. He could do nothing but stare at Zoro, who muttered in a deep, croaky voice: “It’s you.”

“M-Marimo…”, speechless and frozen Sanji watched how Zoro tried to halfway get up, grunted and then decided to lean onto his elbows instead. Even though he had been sleeping for days, his eyes now were as sharp as ever.

“Can you get me some sake, I- ugh!” Zoro had tried to get up again, but had to surrender to Chopper’s firm bandages. Or maybe it was the pain. Sanji didn’t mind, he just was glad to see Zoro awake again.

“You.. need to rest.”, he got up and insistently yet softly pressed Zoro back into the pillows. There it was. The steady heartbeat. Right underneath his palm. Before Zoro could start complaining or he himself could freeze again, Sanji grabbed the water bottle he had drank from and gave it to Zoro. He watched as Zoro emptied the bottle. Finally, it was the swordsman who started to speak again.

“Thanks. For bringing me back.”

The hair in Sanji’s neck stood on end as he realized what Zoro had said. He snatched the bottle from him and snorted: “If you hang on to life so dearly, think twice next time you want to sacrifice yourself!”

The telling-off it was, then. With glistening eyes and crossed arms Sanji looked at the man before him, wrapped up in white bandages and staring back, mildly confused.

A short silence followed. Then: “You wanted to sacrifice yourself in the first place!”

“And you should’ve let me!” With a crash the bottle landed on the floor, shattering into thousands of pieces. Feeling how the anger inside of him rose, Sanji took another step towards Zoro and poked him right at those damn bandages. “Don’t you realize how important you are to the rest of the crew?! To Luffy?! To me?! How much we rely on you?! How much we love you?! And you’re throwing all of that away like it was nothing!”

With a firm grip Zoro clutched Sanji’s wrist, stopping him from another poke. He looked him dead in the eye and responded: “And what about you? Don’t you think you deserve all of that just as much as I do?”

Sanji couldn’t answer. Because he knew exactly how little he agreed with Zoro’s view. He never had been the most loved one, so obviously he was… disposable.

But was he really? The longer he thought about it, the more he had to admit that maybe the Marimo was right. He wasn’t disposable. Not with this crew. Not since that fateful campfire night on Skypiea. Not since he and Zoro…

“I was…! You were about to...!” His voice broke and he collapsed onto Zoro, tears filling his eyes. And there it was, that clumsy, rough hug filled with trust and heat of which he thought he’d lost it.

“But I didn’t.”, Zoro tried to sound reassuring, but he was just as overwhelmed as Sanji. His hand found its way to the blond hair and Sanji felt how Zoro tightened his grip around him, as if he’d never let him go again. “And I won’t.”

“Is that a promise?” Sanji pressed his forehead against the steady thudding in Zoro’s breast and wrapped his arms around his neck. As if to reassure himself that the Marimo really and truly was alive.

“Only if you promise the same. I... cannot lose you, Sanji.”

Warmth was spreading inside of Sanji’s body when he realized the meaning of Zoro’s words. This weighed so much more than a vile ‘I love you’. They both knew that they wouldn’t be whole without the other, now that there was so much more between them than endless bickering and standoffs.

“Fine. How about this?”, Sanji lifted his head and enclosed Zoro’s face with his hands so the Mossball would keep eye contact, “If we ever feel the urge to sacrifice ourselves again, we do it together.”

Zoro grinned in approval and pressed his forehead against Sanji’s.

“Sounds just fine for me.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Longing for more than just words, something to seal their hasty pledge, Sanji leaned forward and pressed his lips against Zoro’s. The answer came fast and feral. It had only been days without this kind of touch and yet they demanded it from each other, just as if the fresh wounds would heal faster this way.

But Sanji knew healing would take time. It was a lot easier, though, knowing they both would keep the words they had spoken between tears, bandages and moonlight: They’d either die together or surpass death while trying so.

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Omg big thanks to anyone who actually read until the end! x333 It means a lot to me!! x333

I don't consider myself the best writer, but I just didn't want to draw another comic and I liked the idea way too much to not use it...