"I like to sit down."

my mom’s been telling me my entire life she and my dad met at a bar which BOOOO BORING but today she just casually mentions actually she placed a fuckin ad in the newspaper saying she was ‘a single lady ready to meet the one’ and he was the first to call her and they dated over the phone for like three months before they met n she was like “i was already pretty much in love with him because i adored his laugh on the phone” ????? What kinda 90s romcom bullshit

btw the first time they met in person apparently was because my grandpa fuckin uhhh died? and my dad called my mom inconsolable and she went over to console him and literally just kinda ?? never left???? ehakdhskdhskfjdkdh this bitch’s been telling me they very casually met at a bar can you beLEAF no wonder me and my brother were born fuckin drama queens

apparently. when they had their very first date my dad mentioned his daughter (my sister on his side) and my mom was like :( because she really wanted children and he just patted her hand and was like “don’t worry! we’ll have children of our own.” HDLSHDSKDHDK THE AUDACITY OF THIS MAN? ON THEIR FIRST DATE??? HELLO?

they need to invent a staying up late that doesn't make you get less sleep

Not very tigerous of you ricky

this was a trick actually

I can see your bipples

I need more news like this

#it’s NOT inexplicable#it’s bc someone based it on the unicode 6 yellow heart#which is colorless but shaded with halftone dots#and someone interpreted that like stubble#and drew this#which is SO FUCKING FUNNY via @animusbell

Everyone loves me for my repetitive speech, my odd noises, my constant forgetfulness, and my repetitive speech

Uh....australian here. We don’t talk like that. At all. This shits closer to how white South Africans talk lmao

Uh...white south African here. Neither do we lol

uh... white person here. i jack off to goombas from the super mario bros games

Being a fan-in-law is a nice bit of fun. For me it’s different from just “valued mutual likes something and I like to see them have fun,” sometimes I do develop a genuine fondness towards the thing in question. I recognize that it is probably very different from the fondness an actual fan has but like, it’s fun anyway. Like, no I will not watch that show but yes I do want to see your gijinkas of the characters. I hate that band’s music but I LOVE to see how you stylize their faces. god bless or whatever