NO MORE SHAME / NO MORE FEAR / NO MORE DREAD

NOBODY EXISTS ON PURPOSE. Nobody belongs anywhere. We're all going to die. Come watch TV?

VITALPHENOMENA. by lye, 26, they/them. EST. 2011.

— rules&roster. roster wheel. prompts. open posts. credits. —

TRIGGERS APPLY. 20+ only.

For OOC info, content warnings, and rules, see below.

NOT ONLY THE LAND. The people on it—the blood inside of them.

Choso feels and lives in a way that defies even the supernatural community's structure of reality. He should not exist—in fact, he only does due to unspeakable cruelty of the entity posing as his father and torturing his mother.

He is guilty because he is the only one remaining to carry that burden. Nobody else can be held responsible for Noritoshi Kamo (or who everyone thought to be Noritoshi Kamo). But with his guilt, there is also open-mindedness—a willingness to accept others that defy the rigid expectations of their society.

Dante's blood, his lineage, are scarred and marred. Shamefully so. It should be difficult to look at. But as much as Dante is tied to where he came from, he also remains autonomous. (This is something Choso often forgets about himself.)

Choso stands by Dante's side because he accepts him as he is. He gives him the space to think and explore. He won't judge. Until he has to.

"Everything lives in its own way. Everything should be..." He doesn't know French. He wishes he knew more English—wishes he knew a lot more than he had time to absorb before today.

He shifts, arms wrapped around himself not tightly, but protectively all the same.

"That is not something you resent now that you know it. Right?"

WHEN CHOSO CRIES, HE DOES NOT THINK ABOUT FEELING SHAME OR MAKING HIMSELF STOP. He does not get angry; he does not berate himself.

However, when his happens, as it often does, he has always been alone. Now, although the amount of time he's been spending with Yuki has been ultimately—pleasant? (Pleasant would be insufficient, but overwhelmed with despair as he currently is, he cannot think of anything more accurate or outright flattering.) — he does not always know how to incorporate her into his emotional displays.

She is patient. Accepting. Enduring. These are things he can admire about her from a distance or up close, like they presently are.

These are also things that are so beautiful that they worsen his sobbing.

<<Joy?>>

What does joy have to do with what he's feeling right now?

All the same, he knows the answer instantly. He steadies his breathing before he says it. When he looks at her, he can barely see her—not as well as he would like to.

"Look, Loh-luh, considerin' I'm fuckin' grown-uh, my climbin' days are LOOOONG over!"

But he's being left out; this has him fidgety, antsy.

Ah, fuck it. Fire escapes aren't meant to be ascended in this manner, but people use them for the reverse purpose all the time. Something about Burns hoisting himself up and closer to Lola's level is completely appropriate.

like a thing that sits with you when you are switching out the laundry. it hits you hard when you least expect it but also never quite goes away.

fernanda was being abused by her in-laws and left that environment. doing so, she left her children within the influence of her less-than-admirable husband and the children's grandparents. as much work as kieran has done convincing her that she did the right thing, she's never going to live a guilt-free existence—even if she does, somehow, abandon and reject kieran's cult.

of the cass/jm/mack triad, cass has the most average sex drive. mack's is ultimately low, and jm's is ultimately high. cass has a fairly healthy relationship with sex that they developed on their own pre-knight and continued to remain in dialogue with themselves about during and after knight. cass is a very critical person, which extends to being prone to self criticism. so theyre often aware of things like consent, boundaries, communication, and the intersection of those three important concepts. she's not incredibly kinky but not repressed or shameful, either, so she's comfortable trying new things.

DAFNE NEVER HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO PLAY CHICKEN AS A CHILD. This is because Dafne had very few opportunities to play any game at all with anyone else. People have been avoiding her for as long as she can remember.

They have their reasons, of course, and those reasons are often good. She's never resented anyone except for herself and for him.

She's still surprised Jon's willing to get so physically close to her. If she thinks about it for more than half a second, it's genuinely suicidal behavior. Jon knows intimately, disturbingly well what they can do when Dafne's perceived to be in danger.

He does not think she's in danger now, though. In fact, Dafne feels a euphoria so foreign and so unique and so jarring that it couldn't possibly belong to her alone. Even then, it's inside of her—influencing her, twitching the muscles near her mouth until she's smiling up at Jon. It's almost inviting. It's also a little sad.

Her hands are wrapped around his upper arms. She isn't sure when that happened or why it did, but that fact, in combination with her twitchy almost-smile, gives Jon some courage he's been sorely lacking since she first saw him in their hallway.

So, yes—the game of chicken. It's not one she's familiar with, but she imagines this is what it's often like. One of them has to tap out first—which could mean losing, sure, but it could also mean finally getting what they wanted in the first place.

He leans down; she tilts her head up. They turn their faces in different direction with the same end goal in mind, which has the final result of Jon's chapped lips against the corner of Dafne's mouth—more her cheek than anything else.

The feeling of it has her jerking back. As she does, her fingers tighten into the sleeves of his t-shirt.

PICREW CREDIT

erik hallows | phil