piss baby

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao

That’s because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest

Being with me is like torture I think

The existence of dildos is crazy like the way you can come home from work and just start fucking yourself in the ass

candy before beer youre in the clear. beer before candy hurricane sandy

youare all just jealous of my severed head

if you're in your 20s just remember that you're in your 20s and being in your 20s is like being anywhere between 20-29

How do you misspell hi

when a joke takes a while to hit call that a jestational period

you dumb asshole, you just won $0,000

😍fuck

one lucky follower has been selected to be dissected and reconstructed