many's gay blogge

we are Many Strawberry, a Manifold Mindmesh, faerie Viscountexx of Chitin. none of these are names, you may not have our names.

fae/it pronouns, please use them both in the most confusing and whimsical ways possible.

we're queer anti-binary bi dyke freaks. kinnie creatures. insane worshippers of deities inside and outside our head. kink posters who do ageplay and incest and CNC and such.

i'll block anyone's ass for any reason. don't take it too hard. it doesn't mean I hate you, just that you annoyed me once or twice.

we try to tag thoroughly for filtering but we are only inhuman. tell us if you need a tag and we shall consider it, mortal.

we have music over at jam.coop, another blobge besides our tumblr at dreamwidth.org, hypothetically projects at itch.io, and a homepage for everything else we wanna share online. also we're on the fediverse (mastodon compatible, our server is just cooler than mastodon) as [email protected] at the moment.

generally regard this blog as 18+ but i'm not putting mature content labels on anything i'm not forced to because that should be between you and a trustworthy adult, not you & internet surveillance.

by the time i had gotten on HRT, the fact that i was a minor almost didn't matter anymore, my 18th birthday was merely months away. I figured out I was a girl by 15, and knew I wanted to transition by then, but started earnestly trying once I had a job at 16.

I saw two different endocrinologists. The first one took me back into his office, required a testicular exam of me, and when I stated my discomfort, I was explicitly given the "Do you really want HRT? You gotta do this, then" ultimatum. I felt violated and defeated, and I didn't understand that this was an assault or not okay or something to tell anybody about for something near a decade.

He talked extensively about the permanence of altering my body with hormones. To my father, who had to be in the room. While misgendering me the entire time. Then, he told my father he wouldn't even bother trying to file with insurance because they wouldn't cover it.

I left without hormones, that day, and I searched for another endo. I found a place, spoke with them over the phone. They followed this fancy thing called the "WPATH guidelines"! Wow cool!

Yeah turns out that meant I needed to spend a year convincing a therapist I really wanted to be a girl. No like really. But reallly really.

Then I have the fucking appointment.

And you'll never believe what this old man endocrinologist asks me to fucking do to put me on hormones! That's fucking right it's time for a fucking weird uncomfortable testicular exam of a teenager!! And of course because THE LAST TIME THIS HAPPENED it was at a doctor who gave me a hard ultimatum I just straight up didn't even consider that I could say no. I don't know if I could have.

I wish I had.

So yeah idk. That's the "easy, forced upon you" hrt, or at least it was last decade. Go to a specialist, beg them to put you on HRT, get misgendered, get asked if you wanna freeze your sperm (but are you sure? you understand right? your fertility is important to you right? it's not? what's wrong with you?), get your balls fondled against your consent, and then spend a year in therapy talking about literally nothing useful except how much you are a girl actually for real and not just having a little phase so you can repeat the process and hope this time you actually get the fucking meds, and by that point you're almost an adult who can consent without a parent present anyway.