you are the star

They just invented the world’s fastest sandwich. They’re calling it the autobáhn mì

I hope you get your favorite food this week and your favorite drink and your favorite 2k dollars

I'm sorry there's no magic in this post I'm just talking. I hope good stuff happens to people online I hope good things happen to all of us

who wants to feel my healing purring frequencies

Me pretty please I want to be healed :3

*rubs my scents glands against your ankle and purrs with a phd*

i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

I’m tired of “gooners” I’m tired of 4chan terms I’m tired of casual racism I’m tired of all this shit we have to pretend is normal so we don’t upset like the few people who conflate their identities with being edgy, racist and insufferable

hello my name is Stray Hair snd my big dream is to play the itsy bitsy spider on broadway. doyou mind if i practice on the side of your head.