Visau

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

I love this post

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

We Are the Daughters of the Microbes Who Could Survive in an Oxygen-rich Atmosphere

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

Every time I go they put me in a chair and they say look into this machine there's a hot air balloon or a farmhouse in there and I do and I'm like you're right I see it and they're like yeah keep admiring that hot air balloon or farmhouse and I do and I'm like this shit's quaint as fuck and then do you know what happens next they attack me they jumpscare me with air directly into my eyeballs and i fall out the chair and they say sorryyyy but they're NOT they wanted this to happen they KNEW about the jumpscare well now I'm wise to it now I know better when I go in and they say look at this bodacious hot air balloon I'm like NO WAY DUDE that balloon wishes me harm have at thee and I attack them and push them on the ground and spit on them

the quick brown fox lowkey mogs the lazy dog

The quick brown fox just low-key vibe mogged the lazy chopped dog

The quickpilled brown fox vibemogs lazy chud dogcel by jumpmaxxing

horror movie showing a child’s drawing of the monster or ghost or whatever but instead of a little kid and crayons they’re like a preteen and it’s manga style

A big one to avoid is taking the knowledge from a framework meant for analyzing large-scale power structures, learning about how those affect material conditions at population levels, and then starting to go "ohhhh am I being Bad At The Framework if I try to change my material conditions with individual actions" to which the answer is... no. That's just outside the scope of the framework.

That's all to say that when you see someone from any branch of feminism starting to slip into "gals, is it heteropatriarchal if we do lesbian BDSM" you can just laugh to yourself and go "haha, she's individualizing the systemic analysis" and move on instead of trying to formulate a Theory Of How Being A Good Girl For Dommy Mommy Is Actually Super Feminist to counter.

you dont have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off, and while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the babys soft cartilage head into something a little more modern.  it might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but lets see where the dog is going with this

This post is from 2013. It has less than 100 notes. Together we can revive this work of art that tragically ahead of its time. We’re ready for it now

If a fantasy world has an ancient tree of wisdom, that means it must also have young trees that are dumb as shit. Just giving terrible advice like, "the evil wizard is kinda hot"'

they need to invent the opposite of an nda called an fda where u have to tell everyone everything

subpoena

tumblr

alcohol

war thunder forums

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

I want all animals to become sapient enough to produce art specifically because I want to see what sort of sex homunculus caricature each species would create if given the ability to draw

Like we've already got the anime waifu with the needle-waist and watermelon-bazonkas and borzoi-legs and bug-eyes. Now show me a fucked-up stupid beetle as drawn by a horny beetle. I want to see what a cartoonishly sexy lion looks like according to lions. I want to see the most ridiculous drawing of a peahen that would have the peacocks squaring up by the fountain.

We give this power to ostriches and they just start drawing people