GROWING SIDEWAYS,

hi, idols! as an apology for the pause in operations on the main and the lack of monthly schedules, we come bearing gifts... an ask meme! this isn't the honesty hour that was mentioned a while back (as that will be used as part of our next event), but we think it'll still be lots of fun. check under the cut for all the details!

“there’s a stairwell in the building,” she starts, her voice slipping out of the cold tone she usually has and into something more casual. “sometimes people hear footsteps behind them, but when they turn around, there’s nothing.” she tilts her head slightly, watching him carefully. “they say if you hear them more than once, you shouldn’t look back a second time. oh, maybe this one is the ghost you've been visited by... there was something about one of the practice rooms... the lights flickered every time someone’s in there alone. at first, thought it was the wiring, but i heard it only happens when someone’s dancing. never when they’re just sitting there. is it only when you take photos?” she's feeding into this conversation like she might actually believe in the paranormal activity in the company building. whether or not jieun made that up on the spot or had actually heard it from others was something she'd probably never admit.

“Yeah, yeah, the lights went out. I think I suddenly got chills back then, too. It was like something just came behind me.” His eyes are wide, hanging tight to every word Jieun says. He’s not sure if he’s acting like he believes her just to get rid of the awkwardness entirely, playing up a part of himself for Jieun so she can have the smallest bit of fun, but he’s having fun with being silly, too. “Should we go to that stairwell? It’ll be our first mission. I’ll bring flashlights. What other tools do they use? Like… that thing that translates what the ghosts say. Should we invest in that? It’ll be worth it, I think.” Seowon shrugs, smiling. If he thinks about it more, maybe it’d scare him for real– call him a baby, whatever, but come on. “Yeah, it’s only when I take pictures. Maybe if I use that one filter, it’d show the ghost posing with me or something, Jieun. Should I take pictures there again?”

11:49 AM: did u forget ur promise to make it up to me?

11:50 AM: didn't u say i "had ur word"?

12:03 PM: oh 😭 sorry for leaving u hanging, sbn

12:03 PM: lol u do have my word. been busy w cb stuff (not an excuse) but making up to u is on my mind! 😊

they  aren't  anywhere  near  ready  for  ranked.

which  is  fine;  lena  may  even  go  as  far  as  to  say  that  she  prefers  free  play  to  competitive.  she  never  speaks  in  the  voice  chat  for  a  reason,  barring  a  private  one  on  discord,  and  she  barely  even  glances  at  the  team  chat  even  though  it  takes  up  a  good  fifth  of  the  screen.  like  the  men  who've  defined  her  career  (  though  she  thought  she  could  have  an  escape  from  them  in  at  least  this  one  thing  ),  lena  picks  her  favorites  —  usually  the  one  person  who  realizes  being  halfway  across  the  map  alone  means  they're  not  getting  any  heals  and  so  sticks  close  —  and  just  stays  wtih  them  the  whole  game.  randomizing  teams  means  she  loses  her  favorites  after  a  match  or  two,  so  it's  pretty  rare  for  her  to  actively  team  up  with  someone  she  doesn't  know  personally.  to  hitch  her  healing  wagon  to  a  certified  noob  is  unheard  of.

but  something  about  this  guy  is  endearing.  even  if  he's  really  bad  at  this,  he  doesn't  resort  to  blaming  her  or  their  teammates.  he's  clearly  trying  to  learn,  which  is  what  quickplay  is  for  in  the  first  place,  and  she  feels  an  odd,  almost  maternal  sense  of  joy  when  he  figures  out  a  skill  or  times  his  ult  just  right.  lena  wonders  if  he  feels  any  sort  of  similar  joy  too  when  he  sees  that  player darkntwisty  is  on  for  the  night.  then  again,  that  might  be  a  bit  too  self-effacing.

If he watched reruns of his own gameplay, he wouldn’t know how somebody could be so slow and stupid, too. Taking heat from the people in the lobbies he’s randomized in is something he’s grown accustomed to, unsurprisingly, but it’s a little funny. He gets cursed at more on quickplay lobbies than when he’s out and about, facing the world as an idol.

Seowon’s been trying to be good at playing Moon Knight, just so that user 50pizzas can team up with user darkntwisty. He doesn’t really know the full abilities yet, and he doesn’t know why he got sent a friend request either, but Seowon’s not going to question it and be stuck in gold forever. “That’s so stupid,” he replies. Yes, Seowon gives free elo to everybody he plays against. Yes, he still talks shit about everybody better than him. “They should’ve played it sooner.”

he does allow himself to rest a little next to seowon though, melting into his member's side as he asks what he feels is a ridiculous question, just to momentarily disengage from rehearsal in this moment.

jun does laugh at seowon's reply though — he asks good questions, and jun has to think for a moment. "hm, talking human sized cockroaches..." he mumbles, "yeah. cockroaches that can talk, let's make it extra creepy," jun smiles, before laughing.

he does have to think about his own reply, taking the bottle from seowon and sipping the drink. as he swallows the drink, he starts to imagine the situation. a hundred cockroaches? jun can feel himself shiver at the thought of it. what if they crawled up his pants? gross. but human sized cockroaches...? he furrows his brows. cockroaches that can talk... maybe... if jun was diplomatic...

“No, but… what are you even gonna talk about to those roaches? Would they even fall for the Sodapop charm? You’re winking at them and singing Thrill Ride and they don’t even know what you’re doing.” It’s one of the rare times that Seowon allows himself to be opinionated rather than just going along with another opinion, and it’s silly to think that it’s about cockroaches of all things, but it’s true. “I’m not going to a house with a hundred roaches either, though. I’ll just. Get lost on the way. That’s an option, right?”

He pretends to think about a question, but Seowon usually saves these things in a corner of his mind for when he wants to fill up the silence. “Uh, would you rather… eat only Midas Labels cafeteria food for the rest of your love or never be able to find love?”

Shit. That’s actually kinda deep. Seowon doesn’t know his answer, either. If he asked that in a fansign with Sweeteas, he’d play it off as already finding his love in them, but this is Jun, so…

my house is a concept that jun thinks he's never actually done before. not because he has any sort of disdain when it came to sexier concept, but simply because it never quite fit sodapop's image.

so when he'd been told that he'd be in the 'my house' unit, jun's eyes had gone wide. he isn't too nervous though, about the prospect of possibly having to pull off a concept he's so unused to. if anything, he thinks that their fans might even be looking forward to it ( he can already image the tweets that might pop up – how insane the search engine would go ).

it's the fact that amongst the lineup in the unit, sodapop are more or less the 'youngest'. and jun, despite thinking of himself as someone who's easy to approach, can be quite a bit of an introvert. which is exactly why he's so glad that he's got seowon on this unit as well.

My House doesn’t lead him to that usual state of apathy, though. Seowon’s excited. He’s on top of fan activity and interactions; he knows that they’ve been waiting to see what a more sensual concept would look like on him. Seowon has minor singing parts, mostly, which leads to him just focusing more on this bolder stage presence and the charm needed.

It’s hard to get that right, he realizes, when Sodapop’s concepts are bright and juvenile. He’s been observing his seniors who are in the unit, too, and they don’t seem to struggle when it comes to that aspect. Seowon’s dilemma: how many lip bites and winks can he do without being called cringe on the internet?

He’s too scared to approach the seniors or ask them for advice, so he thanks God for placing Jun by his side. They have similar images: pristine boys next door, boyfriends. Their friendship within the group has turned into something real but not quite, because Seowon finds himself prioritizing the idol-work aspect of it most of the time. Jun’s head is leaned against Seowon’s shoulder right now, though, so he allows himself to take a breather and laugh at the words that come out of Jun’s mouth.

but then he asks two questions, and this time, he manages to get an actual reaction out of jieun. her lips twitch, the smallest hint of amusement creeping in as she watches him with thinly veiled interest. ghost stories, of all things. she debates, just for a second, if she should indulge him and make her own contribution to the stories that circulate around the company. maybe she should widen her eyes dramatically, lower her voice, say something unsettling just to see his reaction. but she holds back. barely.

there’s something fascinating about people who command a room without raising their voice, or even really needing to speak. jieun knows her dad as one of these people. while she may not have experienced much of what her dad's like as a ceo, she knows him to be someone who can make you feel like the most important person in the world before their attention shifts and they move on, leaving behind nothing but their presence. she knows this is not what everyone else experiences, but this is version of the man she knows because it's the version she calls her father.

who she's looking at is not her father, but there are some similarities between the two. in fact, who she's looking at was the last person she thought she'd ever be making this comparison with. and yet, the resemblance is there. if she was being honest with herself, she saw a little bit of the other ceo in him as well. but she doesn’t voice these thoughts. she doesn't even speak, only watches him like he needs to be studied, like she’s waiting to see if the seams of him will start to fray.

seowon is a few steps away from her, and it just looks too easy for him to have this sort of presence. it's the kind that makes people lean in without realizing it, the kind that makes them want to stay. it’s a skill, she thinks. being liked. being loved. he wields it well. but she wonders, when no one is looking, if he ever puts it down. when he finally turns, she doesn’t avert her gaze and doesn’t pretend she wasn’t staring. instead, she keeps her eyes on him and lets the silence stretch with an unreadable expression on her face. then, as if she’s come to some sort of conclusion, she speaks.

“you’re very good at what you do.” her voice cuts through the space between them, stripped of any real praise. there’s no smile to soften it, no shift in her expression to make it seem like she means it in a flattering way. it’s an observation and nothing more.

Upon the acquisition, Seowon’s heard ghost stories told by the artists who have been here for longer than YDH has, more often than not. He’s had some instances where he’s on his phone, taking selfies to send on Hi-U only for the lights to shut down a few seconds after. He’s met with this one, now. Lord, please be with him. Seowon’s alone, wandering around the building after a dance practice with his group, and he feels a heavy stare on him as if he’s being watched from behind.

Seowon’s gotten used to the feeling of being looked at, being a debuted idol with adoring fans and everything– but he highly doubts that he should be feeling like this in the company building. He also expects it to go away in a few seconds, but it doesn’t, so what other conclusion is he supposed to come to other than the supernatural, really? He sucks in a shaky breath, and he chooses to turn around and face whatever this is instead of running away.

Oh, he thinks when he finally turns around. It’s Minnie. Go Jieun. He hates to reduce her to just Go Eunsung’s daughter, but the truth is, he doesn’t know the girl well enough past that. Seowon’s kept a safe distance from her. They’ve tried to make small talk when bumping into each other in elevators, but all of it’s just surface level. He notices, thouth, and he doesn’t think that she’s cold. Just a little reserved, and Seowon wonders if the infamous hate train that she’s garnered plays a part in it.

He’s a little shocked when Jieun’s the one that breaks the silence between the two. He’s even more shocked that it’s somewhat… a compliment. “Ah,” he lets out, bowing his head towards her. “Thank you, Jieun. You’re good at what you do, too.” Seowon tries to smile at her, but he doesn’t miss the emptiness that comes with her words. He just hopes that his efforts to make the conversation more lively isn’t for nothing.

okay, doah actually can't stand a lot of things — but rejection is one of the things she really, really, really can't stand. she's never tried getting to the bottom of it, because doah doesn't need therapy (lie) and she also doesn't have time for it (partial lie). doah thinks therapy is for sad people, and doah doesn't think she's that sad.

but she knows she doesn't like rejection. which is sort of ironic, because it happens to her a lot on these shows — but it's different when the person rejecting you is younger than you, and actually pretty handsome, and paints himself as the ideal gentleman. being rejected by someone like that isn't something doah's ego is able to handle. she can't place her finger on the why. she just knows that it stings and it stings different, and she doesn't like that it stings. so, can anyone really blame her when she pouts and sulks throughout the rest of the filming? it is a bit humiliating to be rejected by the nation's boyfriend on national television, after all.

so, when filming ends and she's greeted with a food truck decorated with nothing but pictures of a smiling han seowon, she can't help but scowl at the sight of his stupidly handsome face. she's not entirely aware of the way her arms have folded angrily against her chest until a staff member bumps into her, and she sheepishly places her arms back at her side, tearing her gaze away from han seowon's handsome face. a quiet scoff pushes past her lips as she turns to find her manager, but a familiar voice draws her attention back to the truck — and she's greeted, once again, with that stupidly handsome face.

she just can't catch a break today.

she stifles a pout when she notices him rushing over. she doesn't really care if he knows that she's annoyed, but she knows better than to cause a scene in front of this many staff members. so, she substitutes her scowl with the faintest of forced smiles, greeting him as nonchalantly as she possibly can. a look of confusion paints her features when he hands her the paper cup, but she accepts it with another forced smile. the warmth from the beverage is comforting, but she still feels irritated by what happened earlier, even if she's trying extremely hard to hide it.

her head tilts as she listens to his apology, and amusement begins to color her features. a coy smile tugs at her lips, and she waves her hand as if to dismiss his worries. "why are you sorry?" she asks, an eyebrow cocked. "do you really think i was hurt by what you said?" her sugary tone is entirely artificial, but she's had enough practice to make it sound somewhat genuine. an airy giggle punctuates her question, and she closes the distance between them with a few short steps, leaning in close as her voice drops to a playful whisper.

If this is what they’re met with every single time, then Seowon has got to be better for them. Sorry, Doah. His MBTI still has the letter ‘S’ in it.

She’s looking up to him, clearly unhappy, and he’s still thinking of Sweeteas– Seowon’s very aware that this is what made her this prickly in the first place. He’s been in this situation a few times before, where he’s had to apologize for his actions in the name of his fans, but it doesn’t matter. Watching his interactions with others is the very least he can do to repay their love to him– a food truck decorated with his face, birthday advertisements across the country, and so many other forms of their love that he’s received. Seowon can only pray that he returns it enough, that they won’t see how hollow he truly is, and that they won’t let go.

“You weren’t… hurt?” Seowon asks, as if he’s trying to make sense of it himself. “I think you were, sunbae. You seemed pretty… cold to me, for the rest of the shoot. I’m apologizing and I really do mean it.” So please accept it and let’s put it behind us, he thinks, but he doesn’t say it out loud. The distance between them is closed when Doah takes a few steps closer to him, and for some reason, Seowon doesn’t run away from it or shut whatever this is down immediately. She’s so bold with her words that it pulls something in him, makes him want to let go of some parts of himself and indulge.

Seowon guesses that that’s what Doah does to people. Sweet and sour, making you try another bite. Her playfulness comes easily to her. Doah’s a natural entertainer, and not in the way Seowon is where he’s the cookie-cutter image of perfect. There’s something real about her. She doesn’t try too hard. Seowon guesses that that’s what makes her so easy to recognize in the mass array of this industry.

He doesn’t indulge, though. Instead, Seowon plans to interject, eager to continue and make his point. And again, that doesn’t happen, either, because you’re too young for me, Doah whispers to him. And much to his surprise, Seowon lets out a laugh. He looks away and shakes his head, quickly making the calculations. Simple math, but… that’s just three years, right? What’s this girl talking about? “Okay, sunbae. I’m a little curious now,” A light smile is on Seowon’s lips, and he takes a step back as if somebody waved their hand to his face and said hello, Earth to Seowon. “What’s the… calibre of men you usually date, then? S’okay if I drop the honorifics and call you noona, sunbae?”