How do you numb yourself?
Sex work sucks. Obviously the money is great but there are enough posts out there romanticizing designer clothes, vacations, the potential to build your business etc. But sometimes the shittiness of sex work just hits me like a ton of bricks: What am I doing with my life? Why am I spending my college days sitting across the table from a gross old man? Why am I really putting myself through this? Canât I just get a vanilla job?
There are a lot of ways we can numb ourselves to this overwhelming digust. For some, mentally and verbally denying the traumatizing parts of sex work is enough. Others have vices like attention, constant work, sex, drugs, alcohol, unhealthy eating/exercising, compulsive shopping, smoking, gambling etcâŚÂ
Me, I like to drink. I like that it makes me happy. Relaxed. When Iâm drinking, I donât think about the bad. Only how light I feel in the moment. I feel pretty and worthy.Â
My other coping mechanism is constant attention. I also rarely try to be alone because thatâs when reality hits me. I want to feel wanted and helpful. Attention gives me that feeling.
Please add your honest truth as to how you cope. Obviously, some of you may have extremely healthy coping mechanisms like meditation, yoga, reading, therapy etc but this post isnât for you. It is not an advice post either. I understand a lot of you might want to comment to rectify societyâs shitty beliefs about sex workers by adding stuff like âwell Iâm not this kind of sex worker/I like what I do/Iâm not an addict or mentally unwell blah blah.â But please refrain.
This post for the girls who feel like shit sometimes about their involvement in SW. Those who sometimes have unhealthy coping mechanisms. Those who do not want to feel alone or ostracized about the shit they do to block out some of the trauma.
