for gold and glory!

there's a thing you want to make, so you open a new document.

you come up with an opening line. you think, wait, there are so many other lines I could open with, I should think of all of them and then pick the best one. you realize that's crazy, and also that you can't pick the best one because you'll only know the best way to open the piece when you've written the rest of it. you start writing and realize after the first two paragraphs you have a better idea for how to open. you think, I knew I should have thought of all the possibilities first. no that's dumb. you re-start and get several pages in and the concept you began with starts to melt like an ice cube in a hot pan. what was it? did you ever even want to say something, or did you just want to look like you had important, meaningful thoughts and opinions? words are starting to abstract, like semantic satiation happening to your entire vocabulary. what are words? you're pretty sure people use them to express their thoughts, which would be helpful if you had any real thoughts. maybe you need to do more research to make your thoughts more real. you need to read more--not for enjoyment, purely so that you don't embarrass yourself as a person and artist. you need to acquire life experiences with the sole objective of eliminating the personal flaws that will be visible in your creative self-expression. as you are, there is not enough in you to make something good, no matter how many drafts you write.

you close the document.

I also only really do it once or twice a month so sometimes I do go out in public with hairy legs.

come on man i'm on my lunch break can't you wait???