gestalt

sometimes you invent mind prisons for yourself for no good reason and youre like "i really like being in the mind prison" even though you dont actually like being in the mind prison

sometimes the absence is more compelling. let's lack something and then feel its presence forever in the empty space where it should be.

hard pill to swallow: there are some things that are not meant for you. you will meet people that are not willing to stay. there will be times that you will fail. but don’t be discouraged because alongside, you are meant to be something, you will meet people that will stay, and most importantly, you will get better.

people love the social cantagion/"only contagious mental disorder" model of restrictive disordered eating because it's a very clean comfortable pleasant way to ignore the fact that disordered eating is quite often just the most logical response to being inundated with the message that fatness is morally and medically repugnant, socially unacceptable, sexually repulsive, a fate worse than death -- and you can see this in the very way people express concern for the visibly anorexic, lamenting that they "weren't even that fat" and "didn't even need to lose weight." these are things you will never, ever hear if you're fat and your anorexia almost kills you, btw

like i think that "role modeling" and the glorification of dangerous thinness play a part in this, i do think it's irresponsible to model this behavior for young women, but placing the whole weight of disordered eating as a phenomenon on the shoulders of ariana grande or any similar figure falsely locates the problem within the superstructure. your average teenage girl is being put less at risk by waifish starlets than they are by constant, grinding, "well-meaning" daily fatphobic jabs about food and their weight by their parents, teachers, doctors, siblings, classmates, friends etc. and moreover by the general observation that life is actually made crueler and materially harder for fat people