kinda convinced my mental health would be better somewhere else...

and funny enough, i'm coping by playing the same song i played to calm myself down when literal flood waters were about to reach my house... but i lived then, so i'll live now

Well at least now I know for sure... I could never have children in this kind of world.

but no matter how much we talked to each other about the inherit sexism in our family, my sister voted for trump... i wonder if it's even worth living anymore

You can literally tell someone flat out "I'm depressed" in a desperate plea for help and they won't listen

Lately, my sister and I have been having girl talks... Basically that means talking about our trauma and the family's fucked up past without the men in the family around to gaslight us and say it never happened. We're polar opposites, but we do share a few opinions. Like the clear sexism in our family, the past full of domestic abuse against the women in the family, and the clear favoritism of the sons over the daughters. It's so strange to bond over a breath of fresh air among the lies.

You know, i'm at a point in my life where i'll utilize my autistic taking everything literally as a comedic thing, but I get really sad when inevitably people think i'm still just taking it literal when I, in fact, know they're telling a joke. It's kinda funny cause I turned it around on them.

Sitting on my porch and judging all the people driving by at ridiculous speeds in a 20 mph zone and getting pissed like a cranky old man because kids live here slow tf down

I wanna make friends again... but it feels too risky

Feeling bitter looking back on the "friends" I used to have when I was 17. I don't think I deserved that.

Refreshes doordash until the exact moment my favorite restaurant stop serving breakfast

I run another blog where I post pictures of my cats and like... Why are there so many far right and nsfw blogs following it...

There's a layer in hell where you're always hungry but all there is to eat is hot pockets, and when you microwave them they never cool down, meaning every bite will make you hahshshahs all over yourself and somehow the middle is still cold, and all the stuff inside sinks to the bottom of the hot pocket, making a huge mess

I don't wanna call a hotline... Or be told that help is there... I'm not in danger, I only wanna read the tags, to see other people going through the same things as me and not feel so alone. That's what helps me... But of course other people do need that information, so it's good that tumblr has that post there, that warning. I hope it helps some people.

Global warming and seasonal depression is ridiculous, cause now I gotta be thankful that it's cold instead of contemplating why i'm still here :/

Yellow rooms, pill crushers, make the bed, don't sleep, in your room, outside, alone either way, "imaginary friends" who don't go away, foggy memories, ants, ants, ants, crawling, on the floor, seizures, cold hot dogs, hunger, hunger, hunger, hard to breathe, too small, can't reach, absent siblings, flies, go to your room, your room, your room, it's cold, feet on the heater vent, where is dad, mom is slurring, in the hallway, on the floor, help the parents, not the child, no sleep, dissociation, what is real, please don't forget me, please remember i'm here, please love me, please look at me, please, please!