evy

Did I make the right choice? Was it truly the best for both of us? Do I still love her? Countless questions raced through your mind, tormenting you as you tried to make sense of your actions. Tears streamed down your face as you hurried home, desperate to avoid anyone seeing you in such a pathetic state. Unfortunately, hiding seemed impossible.

Whispers filled the hallways, making it clear that you weren't very good at hiding your pain. Thank god today was the last day of school cause there was no way you could survive having everyone’s eyes on you. 

Nat was everything you could have ever asked for. She had this incredible way of caring for you, making you laugh, and being so incredibly smart. And let's not forget how she'd always lend a helping hand with your homework. She was the kind of girlfriend who had your back no matter what. But deep down, you couldn't help but feel like a piece of crap. How could you break her heart like this? You kept telling yourself it was for her own good, but the question tormented you: Was it really?

Lately you've been going through a strange phase, and despite Nat's unwavering support, you pushed her away. It's tough to be in a relationship when you don't even know yourself well enough, so, you convinced yourself she'd be better off without you.

As the weeks went by, you couldn't shake the overwhelming feeling of missing her. You'd ask your mutual friends how she was doing, desperately seeking any news. At first, she was devastated, just like you, but somehow she managed to hold it together better than you did. Your closest friends couldn't fathom why you broke it up. "You and Nat were made for eachother y/n! You totally deserve her!" they'd say trying to lift up your confidence and self esteem. Little did they know, there was a secret you never shared, not even with Nat herself. It all started when you accidentally overheard her friends gossiping about you during lunch. They all agreed that you weren't up to Nat's level, and unfortunately, those words stabbed you in the heart.

Suddenly your phone rang. It was a text message from your mutual friend Wanda:

-I was at Nat’s today helping her set everything up for tonight and y/n……….she wouldn't shut up about you -

-Tonight? What are talking about? - You texted her, but Wanda was known for her late replies.

Your day went on as usual.

Summer used to be your favorite part of the year, but they were no fun without a lover.

Trying to distract yourself, you started the daunting task of tidying up your chaotic bedroom.  This was your first real breakup and you were not handling it well.

As you were about to finish cleaning everything up, you found a  neatly wrapped package.

What was in it? You had no clue. You opened it up and now everything made sense.

NATASHA’S BIRTHDAY PARTY!.

Months ago, you had tirelessly scoured every library in town looking for an old copy of a vintage book your then-girlfriend wanted but wasn't finding anywhere. You sighed. You were saving it for her birthday. How unfortunate.

Your phone buzzed: It was Wanda, finally:

-Bday party dummy. Dont tell me you forgot :/ she really misses you btw-

‘’Fuck it’’ you muttered. And without giving it much of a thought, you put on your best outfit and hopped on your skateboard, heading straight for the party.

When you passed by her house, you couldn't breathe. The house was packed with people- her friends, including those who believed you weren't right for her. What were you doing here!? Go back! Go back!- Nervousness took over your body, causing you to trip and fall off your skateboard. And of course, people laughed.

When you stood up, you saw Nat standing on the porch of her house, looking at you.

She appeared…happy?

‘y/n…I- what are you doing here?’’ she asked, attempting to hide her smile, yet her eyes sparkled with delight.

‘Happy birthday’’ you said, handing her the gift. The sheer joy on her face made you grin like a fool as she opened it.

"Oh my god! Where—how did you find it? Thank you, y/n...I don't know what to say’’.

"You’re welcome Natty’’. Wait- did you really just call her that? Who refers to their ex with a pet name?. "Well, um, have a good night, Nat." You reached for your skateboard, ready to make your exit, but she stopped you.

‘Wait!’’. She sounded desperate. ‘’You don't have to go, it doesn't have to be like this. I know you don't like me anymore but-’’ . She sniffled. ‘I miss you....please stay?’’.

Natasha didn't hate you. Natasha missed you. SHE MISSED YOU.

Your heart was racing, everyone was watching the scene and you knew there were only 2 ways this could end: You could walk away or…

In a bold move, you dropped your skateboard and, cupping her face in your hands, you kissed her.

The wooing noises and teasing remarks from her friends were making you so embarrassed but you didn't care. Nothing mattered. No one’s thoughts did. The only thing that mattered is that you loved Nat and she loved you.

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As the party came to an end, you found a quiet moment to sit down and have a heartfelt conversation with her.

"I'm sorry I didn't notice my friends saying those things, y/n," she expressed, clearly upset.

"What? Baby, no, it's not your fault," you reassured her, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes. "I was the one who closed off and failed to communicate what I was going through... and it led to hurting you."

"Okay, hold on, no crying on my birthday," Nat interrupted, laughing softly as she gently wiped away your tears. Leaning in, she pressed a sweet kiss against your cheek. "We're together now," she whispered, her arms wrapping you in a warm embrace. "Everything will be alright, sweetie."

You mumbled a response, your voice barely audible. "What was that, hon?"  her eyes filled with curiosity. "Did you like my present then?" You said.

She nodded with a smile spreading across her face. "Yes, but I like this one even more," she confessed, tightening her embrace.

The semester had finally ended, and you couldn't remember a time when you needed a break more than now. Thanks to the Stark scholarship, graduation was within reach, but it hadn't been an easy journey.

After a tiring five-hour drive, you arrived at your parents' house in Westview. Too exhausted to unpack, you went straight to bed, even though it was only 4 pm.

As expected, you woke up in the middle of the night to find everyone asleep. Without disturbing anyone, you quietly took your keys and decided to go for a peaceful walk around your old neighborhood.

While strolling through the streets, memories flooded your mind at every spot. The park where you broke your leg playing soccer when you were twelve, the house that always had the best Halloween decorations… and suddenly, you found yourself standing in front of Wanda's house.

Mixed emotions filled your heart as you hesitated at her doorstep. It had been so long since you last saw or spoke to Wanda, but the desire to see her face overwhelmed you. So without giving it much of a thought, you knocked on the door.

"What the heck am I doing? It's midnight," you muttered to yourself, ready to walk away.

"Y/n? Is that you?" It was Wanda's voice. You turned around and headed back towards her.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up. I didn't realize how late it was," you apologized.

"You didn't, actually. I couldn't sleep, so I came down to watch TV, and then I heard the knock... I didn't know you were back," Wanda said, looking as beautiful as ever. Even with dark circles under her eyes and a tired appearance, she captivated you.

"That makes two of us." you said with a small smile. ‘I'm staying at my parent’s house for the long weekend’’.

‘‘You haven't called me since you left’’. Wanda said with an accusing tone. "Neither did you’’.

Your comeback made her laugh. You missed that sound so much and that sight…she had the most beautiful smile you’ve ever seen.

‘‘Do you wanna come in? I was about to prepare some tea if you want some’’. You accepted the invitation and walked inside her home, following her back to her kitchen.

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You both sat on her couch and drank your tea in front of her fireplace and after a long chat of you just telling her about uni, Wanda went straight to her point.

‘‘y/n just do it’’. Her demand took you by surprise. ‘‘Do what?’’ you replied.

She bit her lower lip and giggled softly. ‘’Sometimes you’re so silly y/n’’. 

And before you knew it, Wanda was straddling your lap pressing her lips on top of yours.

You kissed her back of course, running your hands all over her body, pressing her soft hips closer to you. 

She broke the kiss to take off her shirt revealing her breasts. You laid her down on the couch and took her pants off. Her cheeks were scarlet red and her body was breathtaking. Wanda was a goddess. 

‘your turn’’ She ordered you to undress and you did as she said.

‘I missed you Wanda’’ your lips were now tracing every inch of her body, paying extra attention to her chest area. You couldn't believe how long it's been since you could worship her body like this so you were determined to make up for the lost time.

‘y/n please, I need you’’ She whined. You wanted to please her so bad.

‘Is that so baby?’’ you started leaving a trace of kisses all across her abdomen till you reached her lower tummy, and with your face between her thighs, you started to pleasure her the best way you knew how.

Her moans filled with immense satisfaction were music to your ears and after a few minutes, she finally climaxed.

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You opened your eyes to the sound of birds chirping outside and Wanda’s fingers running through your hair gently. ‘Morning’’ she greeted you.

Lifting your head from her chest , you smiled, planting a quick kiss on her lips. ‘slept good?’’ you mumbled groggily, but she found your sleepy voice endearing. "Considering I slept on a couch with another person on top of me, I slept wonderfully," she remarked, wiggling her way out from underneath you. ‘I’ll go make some breakfast’’.

 As much as you wanted to stay, you knew you had to be back at home with your parents. After all, that was the reason you were back in Westview….or so you thought.

‘I’d love that but…. I have to go Wands’’. Her face was now filled with disappointment. ‘’Babe’’ you said but she cut you off. ‘‘Just go y/n’’.She was clearly upset. "Wanda, you didn't let me finish." You said determined to clarify your intentions, making her eyes widened with curiosity.

 "I was going to ask if you wanted to come home with me and have breakfast with my parents… I'm tired of this back-and-forth game we always play. I want us to be more than that"

Wanda's expression instantly transformed into one of pure happiness as she bounced back onto the couch, wrapping her arms around you in a tight embrace. Her laughter was starting to give away her answer. "So, I assume that's a yes?" Her radiant smile confirmed your assumption. "It is, in fact." You kissed her lips again. ‘‘Let's get dressed then’’.

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‘‘Y/n, may I speak with you privately?’’ Nick Fury asked as you were about to leave after a meeting.

‘‘Uh, yes, of course, boss. What is it?’’ you replied.

‘Why don't you have a seat, Agent?’ Fury gestured towards a chair.

The look on his face gave it away. It was about Natasha.

‘Is she okay?’ Your voice trembled as you fought back your tears that were ready to come out.

‘Physically, she is fine, but... she's going to need you.’ Nick slid a leave document across the table. ‘I just need you to sign this, and then you're free to go home.’

‘Where is she? What the hell happened?!’ You demanded answers. Fury was always so secretive.

‘We'll be bringing her home to you as soon as you get there.’

And so you did. Hoping for the best but expecting the worst, you drove home and waited for them to bring your girlfriend back to you.

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The past few days had been bittersweet. You were thrilled to have Nat back home with you after her months-long mission with the rest of the team, but it weighed on you to see her suffering.

Natasha was a private person when it came to her trauma. It wasn't because she didn't trust you, but rather she didn't want to burden you with her struggles. Since her return, she had managed to hide it well. After that conversation with Fury, you expected her to be shattered and completely broken…except she wasn't, at least not for the first few days.

You could say Nat was an amazing actress, but you noticed her mask was starting to fade away.

‘Wow, that smells good,’ Nat said as she entered the kitchen.

‘It does, doesn't it? I hope it tastes as good as it smells, though,’ you giggled.

‘I'm sure it will, malyshka.’ She gave you a quick kiss on the cheek and sat on the counter with her book.

"We have perfectly good sofas and chairs in case you didn't know’’ you teased with sarcasm.

‘Meh, I prefer to sit here.’ Her cat, Liho, jumped on the counter with her. ‘Up here, I have a pretty good view of the sexy chef.’ She whispered teasingly, causing you to blush.

Liho started jumping around the kitchen counters, making a mess.

‘Nat, please control your cat before he jumps on the stove and burns his whiskers off.’

‘Hey, come here, little one,’ she called, but it was useless. Liho was in a playful mood and he was not taking orders from anyone.

The cat ran behind a pile of pots and pans, causing them to slide off the counter and crash onto the floor, creating a loud noise that made your heart skip a beat.

‘Jesus Christ, that scared me so bad, Liho, you little...’ You turned around, laughing, only to find your girlfriend standing in the corner, hyperventilating.

‘Nat?’ You reached out your arm, but she pushed you away.

‘Baby, it's me. It's okay, you're safe.’ Your voice shifted into a comforting tone, allowing her to keep her distance. She wasn't looking at you.

‘Try to take a deeeeep breath, baby.’

Natasha struggled to breathe, her hand clutching her chest. You took a deep breath yourself, hoping she would follow along. ‘And then you let it out slowly.’

Your girlfriend raised her eyes to you and tried to do as you said.

‘‘There you go, that's good, honey. Keep going.’’ Natasha's eyes were watering, but her breathing was starting to return to normal.

‘’Can I come closer?’’ You asked, and she nodded.

As soon as you got close, she grabbed your arm tightly.

‘I'm here, Natty. You're okay. You're having a panic attack.’ 

She couldn't speak yet, but you could see the relief in her eyes that you were there with her.

You held her close, gently rubbing circles on her back, feeling her body tremble less and less. ‘Do you recognize my perfume? It's the one you got me. I wear it every day.’

It was working. Making her focus on her senses was grounding her back to normal.

And then something happened: Natasha started sobbing in front of you for the first time.

Your heart sank as you held her even closer. She was falling apart, and you were the only thing she could rely on.

‘Don’t hold back, honey. Let it out.’ And she did until she ran out of tears.

Showers were her safe place. She always took her time with them, as the warm water usually helped her muscles relax after a battle. It was a calming and soothing experience for her.

You helped Nat undress, and what you saw broke your heart. Her body was covered in dark bruises and scratches. You had no idea how this woman was able to move around like nothing had happened while hiding both the physical and psychological pain. But that's Natasha, strong inside and out.

You sat on the toilet seat while she showered, until you heard the water turn off and she opened the shower curtain.

You wrapped her in a towel and gave her a soft kiss on her cheek.

‘Thank you, Y/n,’ she mumbled, giving you a sad smile.

Back in the bedroom, Natasha was feeling better. She sipped tea from her favorite mug, wearing your pink Hello Kitty pajama pants. She looked adorable. You sat on the bed next to her, playing with her hair and stealing little kisses whenever you could.

Suddenly, her stomach growled and you both looked at each other. She laughed.

‘Hungry, baby?’ You teased.

‘I wonder what gave it away…’’. Her sarcastic response made you sigh in relief. She was definitely feeling better.

You both ate the reheated dinner, and since it had gotten quite late for a movie, you went straight to bed.

Her head rested on your chest and you held her as close as possible.

‘Sorry about all this, malyshka,’ she said. ‘You shouldn't be dealing with this.’

‘Nat-’

‘I mean it,’ she interrupted. ‘I wish I wasn't so broken.’

‘You're not broken, Nat. You're just going through a rough patch’’ you replied.

‘Seems like my life has just been a long, messed-up road, then’’ She mumbled while snuggling closer to your chest.

‘Have you heard of kintsugi?’’. Your question caught her by surprise, and she responded with a vague ‘hmm?’.

‘It's a Japanese art form in which they repair broken pottery by filling the cracks with gold lacquer. They don't hide the cracks; they display them openly, creating something new and beautiful. It teaches us to embrace flaws and find beauty in the process of healing, you know?’

Natasha started giggling.

‘What's so funny?’ You asked, confused.

‘Nothing, I just didn't know I was dating such a poetic soul,’ she teased.

‘Oh, fuck off,’ you laughed and she stole a kiss from you.

‘You're magical, Y/n. Did you know that? I don't know what I would do without you,’ Nat said.

‘Guess you'll never find out because you're never going to get rid of me.’

‘Lucky me,’ Natasha said, wrapping her leg over your body.

‘But seriously, you don't have to hide your feelings from me. I love you with all my heart, Nat. I'm always going to be here for you, no matter how bad things get’’. You reassured her.

‘Thank you, my darling. I love you too.’

‘To the moon?’ You asked, raising your eyebrow.