Robert's eyes tilt in her direction as she speaks. He doesn't flinch though he wants to. No, he wants to crumple. And to wrap it all up in a nice little bow she says it. Asks if there is anything special at all about this tiny little cut out that he found sacred. Put on the spot or not he would spin his wheels coming up with a compelling answer that didn't feel halfhearted.
Nothing special. The decaying bench accompanied by a fading trail light, surrounded by overgrown grass and a single bent tree. The place for meaningless things. Robert too, he supposes. That's why he found this place. Like everything else in life, he just ended up there. Utterly out of control. But coming back and choosing this place for himself; to hide away like a little bitch. That was in his control.
Courtney, in her own mystic ways, reads him like a book. She needs no subterfuge with him. She strikes for the core, like she wants him to hurt, to really rub salt in the wound. Pain is easier to deal with when it's constant though and Robert just breathes it in.
It was a mistake bringing her here, he realizes. She doesn't belong here. Understanding was sought but none was found. Or it is being refused outright, maybe in the same way she feels he has wronged her. Failed her. Eye for an eye. Either way nothing changes even if they were both blind. This place. This piece of whatever Robert is. It's nothing special. And clearly he was blind long ago to even be in this situation with Courtney.
She probably would have liked some story about how his long-lost twin was kidnapped from here or a bear mauled his uncle or some other bullshit. Sounds better. Makes for a less sad reality; the reality that he is just lost and clueless like anyone else. No magic mirrors or mystique must be disappointing.
He sucks in air and reaches up for the cigarette while maintaining his slouching position. He nearly drops it in an awkward fumble, with his eyes focusing in so intently on her. Courtney stands up, clearly tired of the charade they had just barely started.
Robert then leans forward on the exhale, keeping his gaze at her and shaking his head as she plants herself in front of him; offering an array of choices for a reward. All of them lack the quality he truly desires.
All things considered. It is stupid, isn't it? Not worth the air to tell it or explain. Not without clarity on why. But in over a decade he paid visits here there is no satisfying answer in sight.
"Guess it doesn't sound as good as having some tragic story. It would be more satisfying if I said Shroud shot my Dad here or something huh?" He laughs, maybe a touch bitter. The game isn't fun anymore. The exchanges have a new feeling to them. More concise with their intent. This back and forth felt like malicious motions. A barb here. A jab there. A kick in the nuts after already hitting the floor. Honestly, what on Earth was he, or Mandy for that fact, hoping for while he scanned the city for Courtney all this time? A nice chat over lunch? Yeah, right.
"Surprised you didn't say that killing Shroud was my reward." He said it. Fuck. He doesn't want to think about Elliot now. He's already liable to say things he doesn't mean and the space already feels more hostile than it ever has before. Cigarette burns its fumes between index and middle knuckles while he props up the other arm, pinching the bridge of his nose. Can't hide the restlessness in his leg or the way his fingers slide back and forth rolling the tobacco either.
"I don't need a reward." He never has. And Robert doesn't see a world where she would even be willing to give him what he wants. "Kind of against company policy to take tips anyway. I prefer suffering for free." Raising his head slowly back up, he peers out from heavy eyelids accepting reality in all its quiet cruelty, much like the boy that watched his father walk out the door for the last time. Words are incapable of supporting an olive branch. They’re flimsy and crack under the weight of vulnerability.
Mecha Man straightens his neck, fluttering movement in an attempt to reinforce his own desire to dismiss how pathetic he feels. The smoke goes back into his mouth, garbling his voice. "Let me finish this cigarette then I'll take you back."