catastrophic

my life after i turned 18:

If you’ve got a second to spare, you could save my life by reading this and sharing my story.

For my entire life, I’ve been mentally and physically abused by my Grandfather who is my dad through adoption. My grandma / mom left him when I was young because he was abusing her. He’s thrown scissors at me when I was younger and done awful things to me I don’t even want to say.

When I told my Step mom and him about my sexual abuse that happened in high school they called me a liar. He’s even made fun of me for my depression and anxiety as well as my cutting. When I went to grab a knife to take to the kitchen he dropped it on purpose and laughed saying I’d be used to it if it had cut me. He makes fun of me for being fat when he’s over 400lbs. I have tried to kill myself FOUR times this MONTH because of how he treats me.

HE WON’T EVEN ACCEPT THE FACT I’M TRANS AND GAY. He found my binder and threw it away and my step mom threw away my sports bras.

I have a place to go but without the funds and therapy, I can’t leave my home. 

I don’t want to be mentally abused anymore. I want to get help for my anxiety and depression and I want to stop cutting. Please extend a hand to help.

What can you do to help me? I’m taking donations in exchange for drawing pictures. You can donate by paypal at [email protected] or you can donate with a debit/credit card here http://www.gofundme.com/getaxelout

The best way to make your eating disorder go away is to feed your body. 

You can not simultaneously recover from a restrictive eating disorder and lose weight. That’s a bit counterproductive.

You may lose friends to this disease. Feel the sadness, but let it motivate you to keep fighting. If you don’t, you’ll die too.

It doesn’t matter how many times you have been to treatment or how long you’ve been sick. You still have to do this. You’ll never think that you’re sick enough to recover.

If you are questioning if you are sick enough, you absolutely are.

You are sick enough.

You are sick enough.

You are sick enough.

Eating Quest Bars, Arctic Zero, and Walden Farms because you like them is one thing. Eating them because it makes your eating disorder more comfortable is a completely different thing. You know the difference. Be honest with yourself and eat some real ice cream.

“Eating clean” and getting “fit” are concepts that are not the same as recovering. They can’t happen at the same time.

You can never, ever again go on a diet. (credit to Doc Rob for this one)

The professionals probably know more than you do (until they don’t, but that’s a story for a different day). Trust them.

Full recovery is 100% possible.