ardor

Grief is the love we no longer know where to place. It is proof that something mattered, that something touched you so deeply it still lingers even in its absence. And that’s the cruel beauty of it: grief only exists where love once did.

i wish swimming was something you could do alone in your bedroom.

in the second video he explains that when he was 18 after his freshman year he declared a philosophy-linguistics major and wanted to be a philosopher and a poet but his parents wanted him to rethink things in terms of career and he did and ultimately chose to become a neurosurgeon but it wasnt what was in his heart and while he was in medicine and starting to feel frustrated with it and his inability to help people heal in the way he wanted to due to the systems and institutions he had to work within, he would agonize over these tiny decisions like whether to get all-season tires or snow tires and just agonize and agonize for weeks driving his wife crazy he didn't know what he wanted and he couldn't make decisions and it was because he couldn't trust himself anymore. because he betrayed himself

weird little girls are born with divine innate knowledge about the universe

theyre also born with the burden of prophetic dreams

he says I hold on to everything but I don’t know where to put it

You deserve a life that feels good for your nervous system. Do whatever it takes to get there.