vibrating heart

Here's to everything that aches and everything that breaks.

Here's to you,

and to me,

and to the courage it takes to be alive."

and when to stare in awe."

Not with love, not by force.

Not even by bleeding yourself dry.

You can only be there.

Keeping them warm while they fight and hope it is enough."

With our art and resilience and fragility.

We are the universe condensed into flesh and bone.

Brimming with so much hope it could implode into a thousand stars."

And today,

in this dawn,

in this city,

We both got fucking burned."

I believed I had found it. And that I was so so so lucky to be holding it.

I didn't realize the blood running from my fingers until it was to late."

Salty and rusty and so so heavy it almost forced me to the ground.

The day I lost you my lungs were ready to give out.

I had forgotten how walking the same earth as you kept me alive.

The day I lost you I found myself.

It was so hard, to remember who I was aside from the person who loved you.

I'm still not sure, darling, but I'll keep on searching.

One breath at a time."

That's too easy, darling. Too plain for this love that we've crafted.

When I say I'm yours I mean my soul chose yours to make a home with.

It means my every heartbeat pounds to the rhythm of your smile, and my every breath aches to fan over your skin.

It means your name is etched on my eyelids so I can take you with me when dreams come to carry me away.

It means I'll stay even when everything else is fading away."

Swore it would be enough to hold onto sandcastle promises and volatile tides.

Swore the days we spent in bliss would turn into an eternity built together.

But, darling, time flew by so fast we never even had a chance to catch it."

I. Take a broken heart and bleed it out until every atom of the universe feels at peace.

II. Add the gift to create new realities and sprinkle on just a smidge of melancholy from any yesterday that left you yearning.

III. Stir in hope and stardust melted into blind faith in happy endings. Bring it to a simmer.

IV. Serve with a side of passion and a generous portion of intrinsic, painful honesty.

V. Let it all roll down your throat; ink will heal you while opening up new scars.

It keeps us going at full speed with nothing to slow us down.

But it'll be alright, darling.

We'll crash and burn magnificently, and the wreckage left behind will be the perfect ending to our pretend love story."

The ticket from our first concert together that still has indie music seeping from the paper and ink.

The picture of the Eiffel tower you took in the winter during a particularly dark acid trip.

The plastic entry bracelet from the camping site where you got so wasted with your friends you lost the night sky.

You cover your walls with tokens of happy days. Tokens of love and adventure. Tokens of heartbreak.

But souvenirs can only last for so long, darling, and loneliness clashes horribly with white paint."

Not ever again.

You'll cling to neon dreams and iridescent fairytales.

Hope will stick to your honey lips and turn every word they grace into courage.

You'll be so goddamned brave, light will have to make room for you."