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@vhiio0

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It sucks being almost fluent in a language, because I have so many banger jokes I want to say, but don't know the 1 hyper specific word that makes it funny
There's a scene in very early 60's Doctor Who where a character falls into a swamp, I think, and they throw not a rag doll, but a card board cut out of the actor. 10/10 they don't make 'em like this no more
horse with a dvd player on its back 2006-03-21
wild
sorry I have some kind of brain disease
I suspect this was meant as a visual pun because this server is rated for 733 watts, almost exactly one metric horsepower

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I’m sorry Orpheus i was too harsh on you…
i was in the physics lab today and we were working with lasers, so the Lab Freaks (legal name) were being very careful to stress that we Do Not Turn Around or Look Behind Us because we’ll get extremely blinded by the power of high strength lasers
and i’m not gonna lie it was actually extremely hard to resist turning around. i misjudged orpheus it turns out this isnt extremely easy actually
okay i’ll be honest i 100% looked back at the lasers. actually multiple separate lasers multiple different times. they were pretty
and i didnt get blinded. so clearly lab safety isnt real and you should always risk it cus taking risks is awesome #gambling
but uh. my ass is NOT making it out of the underworld 🔥🔥🔥
i just got this wrong number text and was like “that can’t possibly be a real name” and i googled it and was led to bobbi babalooney’s website which autoplays the single best and most ridiculous jingle i have ever heard and it drove me to actual tears please go listen to it and have your whole life changed by bobbi babalooney’s hype man
I love you miss Babalooney…
when u look at 2017 and think “oh that’s only like 3 years ago” and it’s actually 12,000 years ago and everything is gone and everyone you know has been reduced to ash and the world is completely different
Reblog if you're hoping 2011 will be a fresh start.

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yknow how the greener parts of apple skin are tan lines from where leaves and branches obscure the sun? I’m surprised I’ve never seen anyone utilize that for printmaking
finally got an apple that shows this effect well
OH THIS IS EXCELLENT THANK YOU
It's crazy how humanity invented bicycles and decided to try it with one big wheel and one small wheel BEFORE they tried having two wheels the same size
This is not quite true, though it would be very funny if it was.
The classic "old bicycle" we're all thinking of, which looked like this:
Is actually a technological compromise developed in the early 1870s. The very first bicycle was invented in 1817 and it looked like this:
It had no pedals and the rider would push it along with their feet, the same way toddlers learn to ride bikes today.
In about 1864, a mechanic in france came up with the idea of adding pedals to the front wheel, making the first self-propelled bicycle.
This was a great improvement because it's a lot easier to move and a lot more fun than the Fisher Price version above. It was a big thing for about five years, but there were some drawbacks.
First, because the pedals were directly attached to the front wheel, you couldn't go very fast without moving your legs incredibly quickly, which takes a lot of effort. It also is kind of awkward to steer because your legs are in the way of the wheel.
The other issue was bumps. Roads were not very smooth in the 1870s, most of them were unpaved and full of ruts, potholes, and rocks. And at first there were no rubber tires, just wooden wheels with metal rims. Altogether this made for a very bumpy ride.
The big front wheel, which was made possible by the invention of wire spokes and solid rubber tires, solved all of these problems. A big wheel runs over bumps more easily: think of how rough it is to ride roller skates over bumps in a sidewalk that you would hardly notice on a bike. And the bigger the wheel, the faster you can move with one push of the pedals. Having the seat on top of the wheel, instead of behind, also makes steering less cumbersome.
There are of course drawbacks to this design, in particular being so high up makes it very easy to go over the handlebars if you crash, and more likely to hit your head or break your arm.
Two more inventions helped drive this comical beast into extinction and bring back a more balanced, and safer, bicycle.
The first was the pneumatic tire, which contains a cushion of air, and makes for a much softer ride compared to a solid tire or a metal one. The cushion effect eliminates the need for a big wheel to smooth out the bumps in the road.
The second invention was the sprocket and chain drive. This lets you put the pedals anywhere you want on the bike, and with a big gear at the pedals and a small one at the wheel, you can get more speed out of a small wheel.
The first modern bicycle to combine a sprocket and pneumatic tires was built in 1879. It was an instant hit, not just because it was much less dangerous, but because the low drag profile and the smooth pneumatic tires made for a faster ride, and the trendsetters in cycling, then as now, were the racing community. There have been plenty of innovations and modifications in the years since, from ten-speed gears to carbon fiber frames, but these are all variations on a theme. The basic form of the bicycle has not changed.
Happy riding.
Okay full disclosure I was high as a kite when I made this post, otherwise I might have fact-checked my joke before posting, but this is awesome. Thank you for the bicycle lore.
only real thursdayheads know what day it is today
I was walking out of the Walmart today, and a car passed me, and I got this incredibly vivid impression. It wasn't really in words, but if I had to put it into words, the two key points would be
a). I needed to watch that car and
b). That I needed to be careful, because the driver of the car was a massive bitch.
It kind of took me by surprise, because I really had no reason to be beefing with that car, and I also hadn't really had an impression like that since I was religious, which was in my teen years. Right? It'd been a decade since I had a little voice whisper in my ear, and I'd basically written it off as nonsense.
Anyway, I watched the car, because The Spirits or whatever were very insistent that I did. Car drove fine, went into the parking spot, inched forward, and right when it should've just stopped, the driver gunned it for some reason and it ran into the curb and cracked its bumper.
So, the driver got out, and she went to the front of the car to check that yes, she had cracked her bumper, and then she turned to look at me. The parking lot wasn't empty, but we were the only two people standing in that row, and I'd probably been staring at her for tenish seconds now.
She demanded very angrily to know why I hadn't warned her of the curb. And I could have said I didn't know you were about to gun it or is it my job to help every stranger park, or even could you have even heard me, inside your car?
And all of those would have been fine, but I was really, really busy digesting that I had somehow communed with Mormon Jesus again for the first time in fifteen years, and that the communion had mostly been there to let me watch someone park badly (?), so what I responded with was:
"Because it was foretold."
And I can't tell which would be funnier, if she went silent because there's not much to be said to that, or if she went silent because in Utah, she might actually believe me, but we parted ways without more words.
I'm still kind of digesting this myself, actually.
God is real but only to tell you to look at that dumbass fail a basic parking manoeuvre

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Conspiracy theorist discovers basic geometry
citing wikipedia is harsh but citing khan academy is going for the fucking jugular