wisdom

yes teenage girls can be dramatic and wild but honestly have u ever even seen what happens when u tell a grown man ‘no’

explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly

please be patient with me im from the 1900s

Yesterday my little brother told me something very sweet and touching, that when he was a kid and had nightmares about monsters chasing him or whatever he would be able to end the nightmare by finding me in the dream and I would protect him by fighting off the zombies, or carrying him away. This is adorable, and makes me feel like the greatest older sibling in the world, but the hilarious thing is that when I was a kid I had nightmares of needing to save him from zombies and such. so many dreams where he was in trouble and I needed to save him. Like my nightmares began where his ended. Low key I think he mastered the ability to psychically transfer his nightmare to me as a child and I'm kind of annoyed with him.

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

Oh wow.

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

i believe an important kind of creative process is "i didn't know that wasn't allowed"

I did this back in German 201, shortly before the 2015 US primaries. I wrote a letter as Donald Trump (who I did not think was a real candidate at the time) and mistakenly asked the reader if they were good in bed B)

Hollywood really could have that category

they should rewrite the bible so that jesus would be a hot 5'2 girl with a creampie fetish from missouri

There should be an equivalent to asking "how's the wife and kids?" that's like "so how's that fictional man of yours doing?"

americans are a saudi oil baron's idea of classy. brits are an american's idea of classy. the french are a brit's idea of classy. unfortunately the chain ends here since the french's idea of classy is also the french