ARAIGNÉE DU MATIN, CHAGRIN.

PERSONNE N'ÉCHAPPE À MON REGARD.   an independent, private, selective, &. low activity amélie lacroix from overwatch written by andy. previously est. 2016.

this blog is primarily a character study of widowmaker / amélie lacroix with a heavy focus on worldbuilding and character development from the ground up. extremely canon divergent with a heavy headcanon focus. worldbuilding &. affiliation with #headlyne & #spec08. beta editor only!

bold :  99%  of  the  time italic :  sometimes  /  situational .

^^^ leaving the original rules for everybody else but i'm going about this one as bold for post talon and italicized for pre talon. both is both. the usual

ANGER.   jaw  clenching ,  hands  balling  into  fists ,  teeth  grinding ,  yelling ,  going  nonverbal ,  vocalizations ,  stuttering  speech ,  rushed  speech ,  slow  concise  speech ,  rambling,  quiet ,  arms  crossing ,  shaking  head ,  curling  lip  upwards ,  baring  teeth ,  tearing  up ,  animated ,  expressionless ,  projects ,  internalizes ,  vents ,  withdraws ,  tighter  movements ,  passive-aggressive ,  direct ,  physical  outbursts ,  verbal  outbursts ,  pacing ,  going  still ,  anger  boils  over  in  the  heat  of  the  moment  but  cools  down  quickly  afterwards ,  anger  brews  slowly  but  lingers  longer ,  will  act  out  of  impulse  when  angry ,  will  stew  on  their  anger  and  plot  revenge ,  holds  grudges ,  forgives  easily ,  forgives  but  never  forgets

JOY.   easy  smiles ,  fighting  back  grins ,  suppressed  laughter ,  loud  laughter ,  giggles ,  chuckling ,  smirks ,  whole  body  laughs ,  covers  mouth  when  laughing  /  giggling ,  throws  head  back  when  laughing ,  slaps  leg ,  touches  people  around  them  when  laughing ,  looks  down  when  laughing ,  looks  for  eye  contact  when  laughing ,  sparkling  eyes ,  bubbly  happiness ,  quiet  subtle  happiness ,  obnoxious  happiness,  wants  to  spread  joy ,  quietly  savors  joy

SADNESS.   crying ,  bottling  it  up ,  seeking  distractions ,  wallowing ,  meditating  and  processing ,  avoidance ,  seeking  out  comfort ,  withdrawing ,  swallowing  thickly ,  talking  it  out ,  internalizing  it ,  sad  smiles ,  depression  naps ,  using  alcohol ,  using  drugs ,  seeking  out  sources  of  joy ,  fidgets  with  sentimental  item ,  sits  in  silence ,  broods ,  gets  moody ,  wants  someone  to  share  the  misery ,  tries  to  hide  negative  emotions ,  nurtures  others  to  make  themselves  feel  better

EMBARRASSMENT  /  SHAME.   blushing ,  looking  away ,  rubbing  at  the  back  of  the  head ,  running  a  hand  through  hair ,  clearing  throat ,  covering  the  face ,  laughing  nervously ,  laughing  it  off ,  overthinking,  letting  it  go ,  self-deprecating  humor ,  deflecting ,  getting  irritated ,  smiling ,  withdraws ,  crossing  arms  over  the  stomach ,  crossing  arms  over  chest ,  hands  in  pockets ,  shoulders  sinking ,  shrugs ,  falling  into  silence  until  comfortable  again ,  talking  a  lot  to  compensate

GUILT.   avoiding  eye  contact  ,  shoulders  sinking  low ,  head  hanging  down ,  crying ,  chest  aches ,  lashing  out ,  internalizing ,  apologizing ,  deflecting ,  communicating ,  withdrawing ,  grand  gestures  for  forgiveness ,  accepting  fault  easily ,  punishing  themselves ,  martyrdom ,  victim  complex ,  over-active  guilt  complex  ,  healthy  conscience ,  internalizes  even  after  forgiveness ,  seeking  redemption ,  moves  on  easily ,  denial ,  shuts  off  empathy  to  cope  ,  lack  of  guilt  /  conscience ,  sorry  they  got  caught  more  than  caused  harm ,  can’t  handle  knowing  they  hurt  others

FEAR  /  ANXIETY.   trembling ,  crying ,  sarcasm  /  sass  to  cope ,  humour  to  cope ,  rambles ,  going  quiet ,  going  nonverbal ,  getting  angry ,  fidgeting ,  freezing  up ,  impatience ,  clenching  jaw ,  picking  at  nails ,  chewing  at  the  lip ,  pulling  at  clothes ,  adjusting  jewelry  /  clothing  /  hair ,  pacing ,  swallowing  thickly ,  eyes  widening ,  over  -  reacts,  under  -  reacts ,  calm ,  logical ,  panic ,  irrational ,  overthinks ,  carefully  analyzes ,  talk  to  themselves ,  breathing  exercises ,  flight ,  fight ,  withdraw ,  fawn

TAGGING : everybody cuz i tagged on somba already

amélie does not like nicknames and she will be at the very least irritated if you call her one. shortening her name or making it into another name makes her roll her eyes and if she hardly knows you (or doesn't like you)? she's going to be mean about it like Do not get so familiar with me. say the full amélie or refer to her by her widowmaker title.

on the same line of thought, she is not a fan of pet names unless she actually likes you. she does not like ones that lean towards the condescending territory like princess or baby. she also does not like ones like babe. sweeter ones like my love, darling, etc. are allowed if she's in a relationship with you… aka gérard (formerly) and emily (now.) she will say the same kinds of names back. if she calls you these names without that relationship, she is 100% taunting you. it is not genuine.

i guess since we're on a name trend, amélie is not particularly bothered by being referred to as ms. lacroix or ms. guillard. guillard is her preference but it won't be as big of a stab as you think if you spit out lacroix at her.

she is so… so bad at cooking. always has been. still is. absolute disgrace to the french. gérard would tease her about it all the time but she just never got good at it, nor has she ever enjoyed it. her lack of desire to learn does not help. the severe dysfunction that came with her depression and trauma post-talon makes it almost impossible for her to get up and do anything besides pick at the pre-portioned meals that moira has her on.

she was pretty tidy before everything with talon happened. not that she was a clean freak by any means, and she did NOT like to clean whatsoever, but she put her things back where they belonged and did the dishes. now? oh my god, she's a disaster. do not go into her flat at talon. the floor is her table. only she can step in there without stabbing her foot on something. she tosses her garbage and rotten food, thank god, but that's only because the smell bothers her so bad that it overrides her dysfunctional behaviors and gets her off her ass.

simpler set of headcanons today about how amélie’s upbringing that i’ve been meaning to do! content warning on a mention of disordered eating w/ a bit of elaboration at the last bullet point.

amélie guillard was born to a typical conjugal family consisting of her mother (adeline), her father (benoît), and herself. adeline was a former opera singer and her father worked as a lawyer. she spent her younger years in annecy, france within their ancestral home.

the guillard name had a lineage dating far back into the years of the french revolution where their influential power waned. despite this, the family overall managed to maintain enough wealth to be considered rich by the time she was born. amélie did not have any financial issues, however her parents were not the most doting. their parenting had a heavy focus on discipline, manners, and etiquette. they were also very distant.

her fondest memories of her father were going on hunting trips with him in the woods by the château. they would stay in their cabin nearby at least twice a year ever since she was a young girl. she was not allowed to shoot the rifle herself until she was in her preteens, but benoît often let her hold onto it while they sat or walked. safety on, naturally. her interest in hunting, taxidermy, and the macrabe were definitely sparked at this point in her life. amélie quickly became a very good shot, something that was especially impressive considering how infrequent her practice was. in her adult years, she did nothing with this talent as it was discouraged for her work in the fine arts.

her mother was what sparked her interest in the arts. amélie had an early love for theatrical music like opera, ballet, musical theatre, and soundtracks because of adeline playing it frequently in their home. she often took her to fine arts performances which was one of the only ways she had to truly bond with her mother. her mother would go on to enroll her in singing lessons, dancing lessons, etc. and amélie quickly decided to stick with ballet. she began her ballet lessons at the age of 6 after school.

with amélie’s interests ranging anywhere from the fine arts to taxidermy, her parents discouraged most of her unconventional interests and encouraged her to focus heavily on her natural talent for dance. her interests in horror and the like were pursued quietly and sparingly in her limited free time. 

the discouragement of anything outside of her “work” and the lack of attention if she wasn’t excelling made amélie have a fixation on perfection. while her parents wouldn’t harshly scold her for her failures, the quiet disappointment was worse in her eyes. her dance instructors leaned on the harsher side as well as she transitioned into her teenage years and her craft was becoming more serious which did not help. amélie grew to become fairly stoic, cold, and distant from her peers.

by age 14, amélie was sent to a boarding school in paris that offered a focus on ballet dancing. by this point she hardly saw her parents aside from holidays and the occasional visit to check on her studies and progress. despite how little contact she had with them, she still felt constant pressure from them to excel. occasionally her mother would go to her performances once she started getting soloist roles. amélie would not get a principal role until her early 20s which, while extremely impressive considering that doesn’t tend to happen until mid 20s & up, was disappointing to her. girl relax.

amélie’s entire life revolved around ballet down to her diet, her everyday activities, etc. some of her other athletic activities included yoga and gymnastics. the yoga continues into adulthood with gymnastics being replaced with pilates to maintain her form between performances.

her eating schedule was extremely strict, mostly due to her own accord but encouraged by her parents. this fell into the disordered eating territory. amélie was very strict on counting her calories and making sure she stayed at her ideal performance weight. being on the taller side for a ballet dancer with a tendency to store fat and muscle in her lower half, she had to be very careful about her routine. she was notably thinner (but still with plenty of muscle- lower fat percentage overall) before her talon training where she has bulked up, especially on legs. there’s gonna be a headcanon further elaborating on this and then noting how her body has changed since her capture.

we've decided to make some private & exclusive multi sideblogs to fill in important roles in our whole blog canon situation sooo whenever i mention a character that she writes on said sideblog, like moira or gerard, it'll be in direct reference to her portrayal. this is not an exclusive situation by any means, i'm still fully free to interact with duplicates of these muses. it's more of a mains situation u know? gives a baseline for our character's development since everybody is so intertwined within the cast.