OBSCURUS SANCTUS

When I was a child, I really wanted to be a boy. Not just in an ‘Oh, I wish I could wear shorts and play with cars’ way, because I did that anyway, but in a deep-seated way where I felt wrong in myself. I remember talking to my parents when I was five or six and saying I should be a boy. They didn’t take me to see a therapist or anything! They were maybe disappointed that I wasn’t more girly, but I had a sister who was. As I grew up it seemed to settle. I don’t feel I was born the wrong gender – but there’s definitely something about me. I’m not a girly girl; I just don’t identify with that. For me, transcending gender is the ultimate goal. For men and women, the gender roles we’re assigned are incredibly limiting. Being a woman, expressing masculinity is an interesting thing to do. When on stage, I feel powerful. I feel like a woman and a man.