worstsimpsonspageever posts as astrological signs, leo edition

My favourite part of writing professional emails is sending them and immediately running over to my "sent" folder to check I did in fact write "Yeah, I can make a 3 PM meeting" and not "I think you're a big stupid piece of shit and I fucked your wife" somehow

peeing after esex so i don’t get an hdmi

i dont even have sex i just make the posts for clout

Unfortunately me until Thursday

bro has sex scheduled on thursday

Sometimes, if you’re lucky, there will be a tree outside your bedroom window. It is very important to romanticize this tree as much as possible.

wishing everyone a very good luck getting through january-march without killing yourself

once again wishing everyone a very pleasant please don’t kill yourself