Hedgehogs of Insanity

Thanks for tagging me! This is a video of a black-and-white Tegu chasing a ball, and all of the tegu's body language is telling me that it's a relaxed but curious animal and isn't feeling stressed.

Tegus are anecdotally known to enjoy chasing balls for fun, and I think that's what we're seeing in this video. The way the tegu scrambles at the beginning is just because it's having trouble getting traction on the slippery floor.

What people thank an animal should be kept in and what the animal actually should be kept in. (click the pictures)

For one about ferrets, rats, mice, hedgehogs, and chinchillas go here.

Not based on personal preference, but observable fact. An animal kept in an environment that is too small is unhappy and stressed. This can absolutely lead to a short miserable life.

I see a lot of people, virtually every day, who have these preconceived notions about what an animal can live in. A hamster lives in a hamster cage of course, because the happy little hamster on the box says so! This cage is for finches, they even keep them in it at the store! My friend had a rabbit and it lived in that cage so I’ll get that one. This sort of dangerous socially accepted neglect is not just limited to bettas and goldfish. Mammals and birds are subject to it as well.

What people don’t realize is that almost all commercial or common cages are completely unacceptable as homes for what they are marketed for. Those guinea pig/rabbit cages? Garbage. Those tiny finch cages? Torture. That cute technicolor hamster cage? A gimmick.

All animals need a certain amount of space for enrichment and general well being. That does not mean the cages someone is trying to sell you. It means the cages that are best.

And to all those people who are thinking “Well I had a hamster in a cage that size and it was fine.”

Stop.

You have only observed your animal. You have only observed the animal in a confined space and most likely showing signs of distress or behavioral problems. But you interpreted it as normal because that is all you know. You haven’t seen rabbits in appropriate sized cages. You haven’t seen parakeets in appropriate cages. You haven’t seen a hamster who is happy.

Signs and symptoms of cruelly confined hamsters. (The same applies to mice, gerbils, and rats):

Biting the cage bars

Obsessive digging

“Laziness” (lack of foraging/exploring)

Aggression

Pacing

Running in circles

Obesity

Signs and symptoms of cruelly confined rabbits:

Biting the cage bars

Running in circles

Bouncing off the cage walls

Aggression, irritability when being held

Cage aggression

Constantly banging toys/decor around

Obesity

“Laziness”

Signs and symptoms of cruelly confined guinea pigs

Biting the cage bars

Banging their water bottle on the side of the enclosure constantly

Aggression tword other guinea pigs or you

Obesity

“Laziness”

Signs and symptoms of cruelly confined parakeets

Feather plucking

Aggression to other parakeets

Pacing

Obesity

Repetitive behaviors (constant singing into a corner, going from the same perch to the same perch over and over again)

Fearfulness

Signs and symptoms of cruelly confined finches

Aggression to other finches

Flight tracing: Going from one perch to another in the exact same spot the exact same way over and over again

Obesity

Animals are more complex than people give them credit for. They to do all of the natural behaviors they’re built to do. Exploring, foraging, playing, hiding, interacting (or not interacting) with another animal, etc. All of this is taken from them in cages like the ones above.

People need to educate themselves about an animal before getting one. It’s a thought that’s been said a million times over and yet nobody actually does it. The reality is people who want a hamster/guinea pig/rabbit are not going to sit down and read ten articles and three books waiting 2 months while they set everything up unless they are already enthusiasts who are willing to put that much into their pets. I can say from experience that over 80% of the people who buy pets buy them to make their kids happy with no regard to what the animal needs. What is most important to them is getting a present for their child regardless of any consequences that decision comes with.

So we have to try and get this information out there. We have to try and make THIS the general knowledge about these animals.

Resources and very good reads for anyone who has or wants any of the animals listed here. I’ll add more when I find them.

Rabbits: X X X 

Guinea pigs: X 

Hamsters: X X X 

Finches: X

If you go to any touristy beach spot in the US during the summer months, chances are that along with shitty fridge magnets and T-shirts, every gift shop you walk into is also going to have a cage full of hermit crabs for sale. 

You can typically buy a “hermit crab kit” of couple animals, a cage, bottle of nutritionally-lacking hermit crab food and some tackily-painted shells for $30 or less. Hermit crabs are sold as cheap, short-term, low-maintenance pets that will probably be dead by the time your kid gets tired of them anyway. This is what a typical hermit crab cage looks like:

The one I rescued just spent the last four months of his life in here, along with two of his friends, who are now dead as a result.

And this is what a hermit crab enclosure is supposed to look like:

You may notice some differences here. Let’s start breaking them down. 

The first cage is too small for one hermit crab, let alone three, and it has nothing for them to climb or explore. 

There is only a single dish for water. Hermit crabs need both fresh and salt water to survive for long periods of time. 

There was no de-chlorinator sold with this hermit crab starter kit. Hermit crabs are very susceptible to chemicals in their water supply.

There is no heat lamp. Purple pinchers (C. clypeatus) need to be kept between 70-85 F to be happy. If they aren’t, your hermit crabs will become lethargic, stop eating, and die. 

The walls of the cage are made out of wire mesh. That means that the animal is going to dry out. The little humidity sponge that’s sold with the cage doesn’t help. Hermit crabs have gills. If the air they breathe has less than 70% humidity, they’re in trouble. If they’re unprotected, in a building with forced heat, they will suffocate in the dry air and die. This is why so many of them die when winter rolls around, and a huge part of why they’re sold with such a low life expectancy.

There is nowhere for a hermit crab to bury itself. This means the animal cannot molt properly. Purple pincher hermit crabs (the kind I have) molt every 6-18 months, depending on their age, for several weeks at a time. They need to bury themselves in substrate (sand and dirt) to do this. If they can’t, they turn pale, curl up, and become completely non-responsive as they hibernate. Even for experienced hermit crab enthusiasts, this looks a lot like being dead. 

Hibernation can also be induced by stress— for example, oh, any of the factors listed above! When this happens, most hermit crab owners will assume that their pet is dead and THROW IT AWAY.

Please, please, do not do this to your pet! It’s still alive!! The man I rescued my hermit crab from the other day had three animals in the cage when it was given to him as a gift this summer. Despite the fact that he thought he was doing everything right, the other two “died of natural causes.” And so he just threw the bodies away. They might have survived for years if he hadn’t done that. And, his mother-in-law, who also got herself a cage of hermies, apparently did the same thing to all three of hers. :(

This is why hermit crabs are sold as short term pets. Not because they have short lifespans, but because hermit crab buyers aren’t given adequate information or supplies to care for their pet properly, and the people who sell them know that tourists who buy them are just going to neglect their animals and then kill them.

You may notice that I keep bringing up the “short-term pet” thing. You might also notice I seem kind of angry about this. Why all the rage? Because the average purple pincher can live UP TO TWENTY YEARS IN CAPTIVITY. Some other species can live for THIRTY.

Hermit crabs are NOT a short term commitment!! If you take care of them properly, these guys will STILL be in your life after you’ve graduated from college, gotten married, had kids, gotten old and fat, moved across the country a couple times, and possibly even after your human children have moved out and left you and your crab to be hermits together. TWENTY YEARS. It’s a pretty respectable lifespan for an arthropod. 

It’s not an impossible commitment though. Hermit crabs are easy enough to take care of, and they don’t make noise or messes. Hermies are funny, and cute, and more social than people realize. Despite the name, purple pinchers hardly ever pinch. What they do do is follow each other around the terrarium, bonk off the walls like misguided tiny tanks, and fall over each other a lot. 

They’re shy by nature, but they can be comfortable with people if they’re socialized. I babysat one for six months who used to cuddle up in my scarf and climb my sleeves. It was adorable. Hermit crabs are climbers, and if you let them out of their cage they’ll scale the sides of your couch like it’s mount Everest, and try to join in your movie night by eating a single piece of popcorn. Hermit crabs are great pets.

Which, actually, brings me to my next point… Now that I’ve just spent all this time telling you how how great hermies are, and how to take care of them properly, I’m going to do a complete 180 and ask you to please not buy a hermit crab in the first place. Hermit crabs in captivity can’t reproduce. The first part of a hermit crab’s lifecycle is spent floating in the tropical waters of the Bahama islands as a kind of planktonic larva (the technical term is zoeae, and yes, I have recently used that in a game of Scrabble). That stage of the development can’t be reproduced in a fishtank. That means that all of the thousands of hermit crabs for sale in the United States every year are captured from the wild. Generally speaking, you shouldn’t ever buy an animal that’s been taken from the wild anyway. But for an species that breeds only once a year, and is susceptible to basically every pesticide ever invented… well. There are whole islands where purple pinchers used to be found in the hundreds of thousands, and are now totally gone. :(

These poor babies need a lot of help. If you want to have a hermit crab of your very own, please consider rescuing one— there are so many out there in unsafe homes. There are also organizations online that help rescue and re-home crabs. And if you already own one, please research how to take care of him properly. It might be more work than you planned on, but I promise it is worth it!

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