vermillyons

i.

you know Zoro loves you.

you can tell from the way he’s always watching over you, even when you’ve been avoiding him for most of the past week. he keeps an eye on you during meals when you’re seated far away and not in your usual spot beside him, always ready to pass the salt or the whatever it is you need even before you ask for it.

you can tell he loves you from the way he checks up on you every night when you’re sleeping in Nami and Robin’s room instead of the one you share with him. Zoro never questions why you haven’t been sleeping beside him–he already knows the answer–instead, he takes a quick peek into the room you’re in and leaves once he spots your peacefully sleeping form draped across Nami. some nights, he does it multiple times, as if he’s unable to sleep and checking on you is the only thing he wants to do in his waking hours.

you can tell Zoro loves you from how Robin tells you he’s been asking the other Straw Hats what he should do to make it up to you. while having tea with her in the Sunny’s aquarium on a particularly cold day on the seas, you ask her how he’s been and she says he’s been resting, without needing Chopper to even breathe down his neck.

“he’s been asking everyone what he should do,” she says, taking a sip.

“do what?” you ask, tilting your head.

“he wants to apologise to you but doesn’t know how.” you can’t help but smile at the thought of Zoro overthinking such a simple matter–though, matters of the heart never seem to be simple to a man like him.

“he could just say sorry,” you think aloud with a shrug and Robin laughs lightly. 

“i think you’re too special to him for that.”

ii.

it’s been a little over a week since your perilous experience on Thriller Bark and you find yourselves docked at a new island. it’s fairly small compared to the other places you’ve been to but since it’ll take a few days for the log pose to set, everyone splits up to kill time in their own way.

Zoro heads straight to town with Nami accompanying him so he doesn’t get lost (and also because she has berry). holding a small piece of paper in his hands, he frowns down at it, prompting the navigator to ask what’s up.

“‘m just not sure if i can find everything i need here,” the swordsman replies with a deep sigh, missing the way Nami smiles at him. as tempted as she is to make fun of him for being broke and–possibly in the near future–single, she bites her tongue, knowing Zoro’s putting a whole lot of effort into his apology. she’ll be nice to him, for you.

“don’t worry about it so much, what could possibly be so hard to find anyway?”

Sanji felt Zoro’s stare burning into the back of his head for nearly five whole, silent minutes before the shitty swordsman finally decided to speak up.

“hey… i need your help.”

well. that certainly was not what Sanji thought he was gonna say but the chef would be lying if he said he was totally surprised.

almost everyone in the crew heard firsthand what Zoro said to you several days ago. the commotion inside the infirmary had drawn everyone to linger outside nearby in case an intervention was needed and it ended up backfiring in the worst way possible. you’d walked out of the infirmary in tears and cried even harder once you realised all your friends were looking at you after hearing what should have been a private moment.

Sanji nearly offered to kick his ass upon seeing your distraught face but stopped himself when he remembered the sight that greeted him once he’d woken up after encountering Kuma. as much as he wanted to avenge your feelings, he knew Zoro was going through a lot, too.

“the shitty co– i mean, Sanji told me to get ‘em roses because ‘it’s romantic’,” he said with a scoff, as if physically incapable of talking about the blond chef without insulting him. “but i know (Y/N)’s favourite flowers are daffodils. i just don’t know if this island has them or not.”

the next person he approached was Nami, who was much less courteous than her previous counterpart. upon seeing his face, she’d started tearing into him immediately, stopping only when she noticed he was just letting himself take all of it.

“not gonna fight back?” she scoffed, unable to push away the anger she felt on your behalf.

“why would i fight back if you’re right?” he replied, his jaw clenched. “i know i fucked up. that’s why i came here for help.”

“you told me to get her a gift, like a necklace or something,” Zoro continues talking without missing a beat as the two weave through the crowded shopping street. “(Y/N) doesn’t like necklaces, though, they make her neck feel itchy, so i thought i’d get a bracelet instead.” even though he’s finished his sentence, Nami can’t help but notice how he looks like he has more to say.

“you’re broke, aren’t you?”

he nods, looking almost like a child being scolded by his mother.

“fine, i’ll pay for it this time. only because it’s for (Y/N).” Nami keeps it to herself, but she’s impressed he remembers such specific details. if only he could do the same with directions, she sighs.

he never intended to ask Luffy for relationship advice but his captain, with his weirdly high emotional intelligence, sniffed out Zoro’s distress without even realising it. he was one of the few who didn’t catch the argument so he wasn’t really sure why his first mate and chronicler weren’t seen together as much as usual but he knew something was up and wanted to help.

“i think you should buy her meat. lots of it. just all the meat the island has to offer.” Luffy nearly started drooling as he spoke and Zoro wasn’t sure if he even remembered what the conversation was about at that point.

the whole meat thing was useless but the conversation did spark an idea in him.

“there’s this candy that (Y/N) talks about a lot, it’s her favourite,” Zoro says with a smile, unable to help remembering all the times you yapped on and on about how it’s the best thing ever from your childhood and how you hope one day he gets to try it. he’s not a fan of sweets but if you love it, he knows he will, too.

“that’s gonna be the hardest thing to find here, i think,” Nami says exactly what Zoro’s been most concerned about. “but i think if we try hard enough, we can probably find it.” she gives him an encouraging look. “c’mon, i’ll help you look.”

iii. 

you only see Zoro again when the sun has set and everyone slowly starts gathering in the dining room for dinner. you’re not sure if they’re just trying to be funny or if they’re actually this bad at subtlety because your beloved crewmates don’t even try to hide how they’re leaving the last available seat next to you. Chopper’s even draped across two chairs for no reason aside from “i just feel like lying down today”. you don’t point it out, though, having reflected on your role in the argument after your conversation with Robin, you no longer feel the need to be petty.

with an awkwardness only two complete strangers could possess, your boyfriend slowly takes a seat right beside you. to Zoro’s surprise, you turn to look at him for a second–so starved for your attention, he nearly feels his heart stop–before asking, “you okay?” your eyes flicker down to the fresh set of bandages wrapped around his upper body. 

“yeah, i’m good.” Zoro coughs and looks away, inadvertently making eye-contact with Nami. she frowns at him and mouths "don't be a loser!” turning back to you, he feels his heart drop when he realises you’re talking to Sanji about something else now. not wanting to draw too much attention to himself, the swordsman tugs gently at the hem of your shirt.

almost instantaneously, you look back at him, a hint of a smile on your face. “what’s up?” you ask, reaching your own hand over to rest it over his before rubbing your thumb over his knuckles.

swallowing thickly, Zoro murmurs, just loud enough for only you to hear, “can you meet me in our room after dinner? i have something to show you.” his face is burning red and you swear you can feel his calloused hand start to tremble ever so slightly.

the last person he ended up approaching for help was Chopper. it wasn’t planned since he’s just a little reindeer but Zoro thought it wouldn’t hurt asking him for his opinion, especially since redressing his wounds always took a bit of time and the silence sometimes got a little awkward.

“hmm…” the doctor hummed thoughtfully as he opened a new pack of bandages. “wouldn’t the best thing be to just do what she wanted you to? i mean, you guys fought because she didn’t want you to train while still injured, right?” Chopper sniffled a little but held it together. it wasn’t a secret that he felt a little responsible for your falling out since he was the one who asked you for help in getting Zoro to rest that fateful day.

“i think i might have an idea.” 

“here,” Zoro says as he hands you a neatly folded piece of paper. there’s an obvious lump on your bed under the blanket but you opt to ignore it for now. in the distance, you can hear the clanking of utensils and muffled chatter as your crewmates carry on with dessert without the both of you. 

unfolding the paper, the first thing that catches your eye is a large stamp of what looks like a hoof at the very bottom.

this note is to verify that Roronoa Zoro has locked all his training equipment and swords in the crow’s nest and that the sole key is in the possession of Tony Tony Chopper. if in any case Roronoa Zoro tries to exercise before he is cleared to do so by Tony Tony Chopper, the latter reserves the right to throw the key into the ocean. signed, Roronoa Zoro & Tony Tony Chopper

the laugh bursts out of your mouth before you can help yourself and for a full minute that’s all you do as the silliness of it all tickles at your heart. too preoccupied, you fail to notice how Zoro’s eyes soften as he watches you in silence. seeing the familiar smile on your face, after more than a week of being deprived of your voice and warmth, soothes his nerves in a way he should frankly find alarming. no one person should hold this much power over him and yet he wilfully leaves his entire heart in your possession to keep safe or to break. 

folding back the extremely precious document in your hands before slipping it into your pocket, you return your attention to the man standing in front of you, his physical size a stark contrast to the shy smile on his flushed face. 

“i got you some stuff, too–” before Zoro can turn away to bring out the gifts, you lunge towards him and lock your arms around his neck. he’s quick to return the embrace, instantly nuzzling his face into the junction between your neck and shoulder as he holds you close. 

“i’m so sorry, (Y/N),” he mutters into your skin, brushing his lips against your jaw as his warm breath brushes past your ear, “i didn’t mean what i said. i was pissed at myself and took it out on you.” Zoro hears you draw in a shuddering breath and his fingers curl around the fabric of the back of your shirt instinctively. “i’m sorry. you’re never a burden and… i-i want to be the one who protects you for the rest of our lives, so please,” your boyfriend pleads as he presses a kiss to your neck, “keep fussing over me and taking care of me. i’ll listen to everything you say.”

for a while, you remain silent, basking in the warmth of his embrace as you think about what he’d just said. you feel almost breathless from how rapidly your heart pounds in your chest and you briefly wonder if Zoro feels it, too. mistaking your silence for hesitation, the swordsman presses his lips against your neck and jawline a few more times as he runs his hands up and down your back.

“i love you,” Zoro mutters as he shuts his eyes and leans his temple against yours, wondering if this will be the last time he gets to touch you like this. “whatever you choose to do with me, i’ll always love you.”

“i love you, too,” you sniffle, finding yourself suddenly tearing up as you’re caught completely off-guard by his words. “i didn’t know you could be so cheesy,” you add with a soft laugh, only to feel his fingers brush against a particularly ticklish part of your body. you try to wriggle away but even an injured-Zoro is much too strong for you to break free from.

“don’t make fun of me, brat,” your lover replies, his own lips tugging into a smile as he keeps you locked in place and unable to escape from his wandering hands. “this is what i get for pouring my heart out to you, huh?”

“no, you get this,” you giggle before pulling your head away just enough to kiss all over his face. shutting his eyes, Zoro basks in the feeling of your brushing against all parts of his face as his heart nearly bursts from the overwhelming affection; and he can’t help but wonder what he’d done in his life to deserve such a beautiful thing. 

i. 

tears streamed down your face uncontrollably as you watched your parents haul the last of their supplies onto their small pirate ship. as the remaining few wooden crates and barrels on land dwindled, you found yourself reaching out your arms every time they walked by in order to pick up more supplies, only to brush past you again on the way to their ship.

when your mother stepped off the ship for the final time to pick up the last crate, you grabbed onto her coat and begged, “please, take me with you, mama!” your words were barely coherent from all the choking and sobbing but it was obvious to anyone watching what you were trying to say.

she crouched in front of you and patted your head, the warmth of her hand soothing your aching heart ever so slightly. you instinctively reached out your arms to wrap around her neck, the same way you always did whenever she was about to carry you home. instead of picking you up, though, your mother pried your hands away.

“you’re a good girl, aren’t you, (Y/N)?” she cooed gently, a stark contrast to how firmly she gripped your two wrists in order to keep them a distance from her body.

you nodded, fresh hot tears still pouring down your cheeks.

“well, good girls aren’t selfish.” your mother smiled though it didn’t reach her eyes. “don’t you want mama and papa to be happy? hmm?”

you nodded again. you did want them to be happy but why couldn’t they be happy with you? you opened your mouth to ask but something deep in your heart stopped the words from coming out.

“good girl,” she said as she patted your head one last time. “mama and papa will be so happy once we’re out on the sea as long as you keep being good. if you’re really good, we might even come back to take you with us.”

“promise?” you whispered, holding out your pinky finger. your mother smiled and hooked it with her own.

“promise.”

for weeks you stayed right where they left you on the docks, your eyes glued to where the sky met the sea–the exact spot their ship disappeared from view.

ii.

Ace begs you to talk to him as he relentlessly trails behind you, leaving the bar and all thoughts of it behind him. his heart ramming against his ribcage as his thoughts on why you’re suddenly so cold run wild.

“say something, (Y/N)!” his voice cracks ever so slightly. “i just don’t understand–” he tries once more to grab ahold of your arm but you shrug him away the moment you feel his fingertips brush against your skin. “did i do something wrong? did i say something?”

the more he asks, the more you refuse to turn around to look at him. your heart aches from how distraught he sounds and the hurt does nothing but make fresh, hot tears well up in your eyes. you don’t understand why he’s so determined to follow you all this way and yet you can’t bring yourself to ask him why.

arriving at your private cabin aboard the Moby Dick, you try your best to enter whilst keeping Ace outside but he’s faster and stronger and manages to squeeze his way in. he shuts your door behind him and leans against it with his arms crossed. 

“are you gonna keep me prisoner, or?” you ask, trying your best to sound as unbothered as possible in hopes that you can conceal the tears on your face. alas, the cloudless night sky allows for the moon to cast its light through your window, illuminating your room enough for both of you to see each other clearly. 

Ace stands there silently with his big wet brown eyes staring straight into yours. what’s normally a sight you welcome with open arms is now your greatest source of misery as it dawns on you that he probably will just keep staring at you until you give in.

for a few minutes, your room is completely silent except for the occasional splashing of waves. looking at him, you think about how the girls at the bar are probably still waiting for him and yet here you are, keeping him away from having fun. he should be celebrating with the others and meeting new people, instead he’s here with you.

how selfish. 

Ace catches the way your shoulders tense up and how your eyebrows furrow even deeper than before. he can tell you’re thinking of something and he can’t help but wonder why you’re keeping it from him. you’ve never kept secrets from each other before, even as kids.

do you hate me? 

he swallows thickly as his own eyes prickle with tears.

did you finally realise i’m just not worth your time? that i’m just the bastard son of the world’s worst criminal with nothing to offer you? it took you long enough, huh?

“did i do something wrong? please, you have to tell me so i know how to fix it,” Ace pleads, against his better judgement. “ i can’t… you can’t hate me, too. please, (Y/N).” the words spill out faster than he can even think to stop them.

never in his life as Ace begged so openly to be loved–and he never thought he’d want to ever do so, either–but he can’t bear the thought of you despising him like the rest of the world does. it might actually kill him. 

“why do you care so much about what i think?” you snap back, tone coming across much harsher than you’d like. “why did you even come after me? you should be back in the bar! don’t you know there are people waiting for you? just go already!” you close the distance between you and him and grab his shoulders in an attempt to pry him away from the door so that he can finally get out and let you sulk alone in peace.

as expected, though, he doesn’t budge.

“do you not… want me anymore?” Ace asks in a voice so small you nearly miss it. the tears that have been holding on so diligently finally break free and streak down his freckled face as his expression contorts into the saddest one you’ve ever seen on his face.

now i’ve made you cry. i’m such a terrible person, aren’t i?

your heart twists painfully in your chest as you choke back your own tears. you so badly want to answer him truthfully, to let him know he’s all you’ve ever wanted but you can’t bring yourself to hold him back. what can you possibly offer that he can’t find from someone else who can offer him even more?

“i…” you have to force the words out, your throat far too constricted from all your crying. “i’ll always want you, Ace,” you finally admit selfishly, unable to stop once you’ve started. “i treasure every moment we spend together.” you give him a wobbly, sad smile. “but i think i’m getting too used to it and i don’t know how i’ll cope when you eventually find someone better.”

Ace stares at you silently as what feels like hours pass by.

it takes a while for the realisation that he hadn’t done anything to drive you away to dawn on him; that you actually want him as much as he wants you. never before has he related so strongly to words said by another and yet here you stand in front of him, having just said exactly how he feels about you. he feels his pounding heart race even faster than before, beating so quickly it almost hurts–except he welcomes it with open arms this time.

unbeknownst to him, you mistake his silence. 

this is it, isn’t it? i’ve said it out loud so you realise it, too, now.

but before you can try to convince him to leave your room again, Ace drops to his knees right in front of you, his eyes staring right into yours the entire time. he reaches out to take your hands in his, cupping your smaller hands in between his warm palms as he brings them to his lips. his hands begin to sweat and shake, and his kiss lingers longer than it should have, but he needs to buy a bit more time to prepare what he so desperately has to say to you.

“i know should’ve asked you this the moment we reunited but i didn’t so i’m asking you now.” Ace takes a deep breath. “marr- date me. i-i mean, be my girlfriend, please? be mine.” he pulls your hands apart to gently bring them to his face so that your palms cup his cheeks. his skin feels extra warm but you can’t tell if it’s from his Devil Fruit or from how hard he’s blushing right now.

the heaviness in your chest disappears in the blink of an eye as you recall a memory from your childhood you thought you’d long forgotten.

“we can date first. then i’ll ask you to marry me. deal?”

“deal… but what if…”

“if?” Ace tilted his head a little.

“what if you find someone else you want to marry?” you played with the hem of your pajamas, making sure not to make eye contact.

“don’t be stupid. i…” Ace coughed, unintentionally bringing your attention back to his face. his cheeks and ears were nearly as red as the shirt he wore. “... i’ll always want you.”

you begin to sob again, even harder this time, and Ace nearly has a conniption until he notices the wide smile spreading across your face. he feels his own lips tug into a grin as he swallows nervously. still cupping his face in between your hands, you run your thumbs across his cheeks, wiping away the dried salty tears from before.

is it really okay for me to be selfish?

you can’t help but wonder for a split second; however, your worries are washed away when you see how lovingly Ace gazes up at you as he remains kneeling on the floor of your room. if you didn’t know any better, you might think he’s looking at the most valuable treasure the sea has to offer.

“okay,” you say with a nod, your smile growing impossibly wider when his eyes practically shine in response, “i’d love to be yours.”

with a swiftness only a man like him can possess, Ace gets off the floor and scoops you into his arms, eliciting a surprised yelp from your lips. you wrap your own arms around his neck instinctively, not wanting to fall–as if he’d ever let that happen–but as soon as you’re lifted off the ground, you find yourself being tossed onto your bed with Ace following shortly after.

you giggle as he crawls over you, trapping your head between his toned forearms as he props himself up by his elbows. the sweet sound stirs something in his poor, overworked heart and it compels him to lean closer. the tip of his nose brushes lightly against yours but Ace doesn’t move any further, waiting for you to close the gap.

rewrapping your arms around his neck, you pull him closer until your lips slot against his, and a warmth you’ve never felt before blooms from your mouth and spreads throughout your entire body. your first kiss is clumsy and a little bit awkward but he tastes and smells so sweet you never want this moment to end. evidently feeling the same way, Ace licks at your lips greedily, coaxing your mouth open as he deepens the kiss, and moaning softly when your tongue clashes with his. 

more. more. more.

Ace wants everything you’re willing to offer him and in return he will give you all of him and then some. you could ask him for the sun itself and he’ll find a way to give it to you or die trying.

when you eventually part ways for air, he’s quick to make himself comfortable on top of you. his chest rests against yours as he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, brushing his bruised lips against the scar on your collarbone. his hands wander the expanse of your arms and torso before making their way under your shirt and staying there; his warm palms resting against your bare skin. in return, you hug him close to you and bury your face in his messy, wavy hair. you smile and press a kiss to the crown of his head when you realise he smells like your shampoo.

no more words are exchanged throughout the night as you lay in peaceful silence entangled with one another. before you know it, you’re lulled to sleep by the sound of Ace’s soft snoring.

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