a silent voice
2016 film. suicide mention.
“i woke up and you were gone.”
“is it okay… for me to have this much fun?”
“to be honest, i thought about ending things.”
“they moved __ out of the icu.”
“now i’m starting to worry about you, sweetie.”
“just calm down. everyone’s staring.”
“you have to love the bad parts of yourself, with the good, and just move forward.”
“you’re going to catch a cold.”
“i’ve just been through a lot of stuff.”
“i’ll text you later, okay?”
“don’t hug me. i’m all wet.”
“you’re going to ruin your eyes reading in the dark like that.”
“come back here. i’m talking to you.”
< you left this behind. >
“why would you want to kill yourself?”
“because if you – if you didn’t wake up, i didn’t know what i would do.”
“yesterday, i was planning to jump off a really tall bridge and kill myself.”
“what on earth are you doing?”
“you are such a good kid.”
“i’m doing the best i can!”
“it was, hands down, the greatest test of courage ever.”
“starting tomorrow, i’ll look everyone in the eye. starting tomorrow, i’ll listen when people speak to me. starting tomorrow, i’ll be better.”
“are you listening to a word i’m saying?”
“__ said you came to the hospital.”
“it’s me. everything is always my fault.”
“then why were you crying just now?”
“i wanted to thank you for looking after my homeboy.”
“what’s going on? why won’t you look at me?
“you know, __ was by your side the entire time that you were in a coma.”
“i don’t know. i just… feel weird.”
< i wasn’t trying to hurt you. >
< this is my friend __. >
“i want you to listen to me carefully. i hate you.”
“what does it mean to be ‘friends’?”
“have a good day sweetheart.”
“i promise i won’t kill myself.”
“like they always say – what goes around, comes around.”
“i won’t run away from my problems anymore.”
“i’d never hate you. i hate myself.”
“i ruined that all on my own.”
“and in this dream, i was just ready to give up on everything.”
< i got a new cellphone. >
< i think i would be too ashamed to face __. >
< i never apologized. for all the stuff i did when we were kids. >
“why is __ lying in a hospital bed instead of you?”
“there’s no going back to the way things were.
“forget everything i said, okay?”
“i’m the world’s biggest loser.”
“woah, new threads? looks good on you.”
“listen, i really suck at life sometimes, especially when it comes to stuff like this.”
“don’t do me any favors, okay?”
“you can tell me anything. we’re best friends.”
“yes, sweetie, but you’ve got a heart of gold.”
“for the first time, i know what it feels like to have a true friend.”
“that’s enough, __. stop trying to drag everybody else down to your level.”
“did i even apologize for that?”
< the thing is, even though you were going through a lot, i was being selfish. focused on myself. >
< you can change. start now. >
< i want to apologize. make sure i do it right. >
< but i’m not as brave as you. >
< i wanted to talk more. with you. >
< i was hoping that maybe you could teach me how to live. >
< i am fine now. i promise. >
