tallulah

Getting to a text or notification in 15 minutes versus 2 hours changes absolutely nothing about the outcome of a situation

You forget 80% of what you scrolled through at the end of the day

There’s absolutely no image on Pinterest, no post on Tumblr, no story on Instagram that could be as novel as reading a book you’ve never read and the dopamine release from finishing it and soaking it in

it can literally wait. It’s not the end of the world. Your brain will make it seem that way but it’s not

Phones are built like slot machines (same exact mechanism) so don’t be too hard on yourself

But also consider how much progress you’d make in your goals if you siphoned some of that screen time into whatever goals you’ve had forever

you don’t need to live a no phone lifestyle, it’s about portions

Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.

Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:

(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)

Anyway, in brief:

Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances

He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election

He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion

His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.

the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.

and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.

Count Binface's rival Lord Buckethead is also in the line up but he is directly behind Boris. you can see his bucket if you know what to look for:

The guy in the goggles at the far side of the image is apparently Yace "interplanetary time lord" Yogenstein, a. third sci-fic themed gag candidate? I don't know what his deal is. very little information online.