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*if this ends up not sending on anon somehow. But anyways I am also in the south and pushing thirty and am trans. im only out to a handful of people but i have everybody i know using my chosen name. When I was younger i was out to everyone except my family but as ive gotten older and picked up more responsibilities my transness has largely taken a backseat in my life. for me i know that is mostly because of the in-congruency i feel when i have friends who use the right pronouns to people i havent met and then when i meet them im obviously not what they anticipated. and that really makes me feel so much more fucked up because it adds this whole layer of awkwardness and hostility to working and parenting. i have found peace and solace in being out and respected by the people closest to me but also asking them to gender me vaugely and neutrally to other people. this might be confusing but all of this is just to say that there is no right or wrong way to be trans. theres no right or wrong way to deal with dysphoria when you dont feel safe to transition the way to want to. im sure a lot of other trans people may think my life is small and painful and when i was younger and constantly fighting against everyone to make a place for myself it felt that way. but now that ive frankly left the battlefield and focused on building financial security and stronger relationships my life feels a lot more comfortable. theres still pain there but it is an easier pain that I can manage better. thanks for reading this because I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in that southern transness struggle as an adult