it’s because you’re always in those damn saw traps

i told her that my pipe was bomb, she said she wanna c-4 herself

reblog this for more explosive penis jokes

primadonna changed my brain chemistry like all i ever wanted was the world LITERALLY 💓 i know i’ve got a big ego i really don’t know why it’s such a big deal though 💓💓💓😵😵💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

my dad is the funniest person in the world to make small talk with. we passed a taco bell and he was like “what’s your favorite thing to get there” and i said “the crunchwrap supreme” and he said “tell me about it” and i described it to him and he said “that sounds delicious. what’s your second favorite thing at taco bell”

Curious George origin story

BEHIND YOU

damn that truck is slow as fuck

it's going 15 mph but he's the state champion fastest beard grower

just found out that yesterday kim kardashian’s private jet produced 61 tons of CO2 emissions. over the last week drake’s private jet flights produced 182 tons of CO2 emissions. like what is even the point any more

the average person produces 7 tons of CO2 in a year. it would take the average person 9 years to produce as much CO2 as kim kardashian did in 1 day, or 26 years to produce as much CO2 as drake did in 1 week. is there actually any point in trying to go vegetarian? or cycling to work instead of driving? we will never be able to undo the damage of just private jet emissions at this rate

we could just kill them

im doing a timeline of my life for one of my psych classes except im stopping it at 9 years old and just putting “i drowned” and once i turn it in im never going back to class