all stuffed animals have a little bit of god inside them a little soul

Let me out of the economy

obsessed with the pretty barista who flirted with me and then made me the worst chai latte of my life

i think you should be allowed to tell people to kill themselves in academic discussion boards

book dedications are so tender here is this piece of art i made for an audience of thousands. but really every word is for you

ah to be a gay cartoon villain with a rival who i’m secretly in love with

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

through countless college orientations and get-to-know-your-classmates-icebreakers i have learned that the best way to avoid “i like your shoelaces” conversations is to feign ignorance of any online material at all whatsoever 

The lord giveth and the lord taketh it back now y’all. Two hops this time.

The ‘what color’ guy is going places