tumblr’s #1 jaylen wells fan

everything is a reference when you're crazy

your generational talent just fucking bit me

switzerland listen to me. you don’t have to beat argentina you just have to break messi’s legs

to really get womens sports to the next level we need to craft teams that are supervillains we need a powerful eternal successful team that also has bad vibes bad energy and is fundamentally evil we need to construct the new york yankees of women

mannnnn Fuck jude bellingham in every way you can imagine

i think one of my favourite things about watching sports (beyond the sport itself) is the magical thinking, the way every spectator feels responsible for the success of the team. the people who are physically there need to sing and scream as loud as possible but then everyone at home has their little rituals. who's to say if the goal we scored was because the players know how to play or because i refused to go to the bathroom, this friend of a friend in rio sat down to watch the game for the first time in his life, these dudes in lanús lit a candle, my cat walked into the room, this woman in caballito did an intention ritual to cure the evil eye, my coworkers in núñez switched seats, a friend froze their goalie. i mean clearly the first option but i think it's (1) hilarious that this kind of magical thinking seems to be largely unavoidable (2) a lot of fun. we're all doing our part ❤️

the first thing u need to understand about athletes is that they are cringe losers bc they skipped school in hopes of never having to work a real job. the second thing you need to understand abt athletes is that they are first and foremost workers whose years of lucrative labour are capped by the very real limit that the strain of that selfsame work puts on their bodies which means they retire at an age before most people's careers even really take off and are expected to get by for the rest of their lives on the money they earned those few years. the third thing you need to understand is that they want to fuck their coworker.